Kitabı oxu: «A Life Lost: Part 3 of 3»

Contents

1  Cover

2  Title Page

3  Copyright

4  Note to Readers

5  Contents

6  Chapter Twenty: A Worrying Wait

7 Chapter Twenty-One: The Reason I Foster

8  Chapter Twenty-Two: Life After

9  Chapter Twenty-Three: Two Children, Different Needs

10  Chapter Twenty-Four: Because I Didn’t Tell …

11  Chapter Twenty-Five: Another Hurdle Overcome

12  Chapter Twenty-Six: Incident

13  Chapter Twenty-Seven: Connor

14  Chapter Twenty-Eight: Going Home

15  Chapter Twenty-Nine: A Life Lost

16  Suggested topics for reading-group discussion

17  Cathy Glass

18  Moving Memoirs

19  Praise for Cathy Glass

20  About the Publisher

LandmarksCoverFrontmatterBackmatter

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Chapter Twenty

A Worrying Wait

I parked as close as I could to the police station and, telling the children again there was nothing to worry about, we walked along the pavement to the side entrance, where I pressed the security buzzer. The interview suite had a separate entrance to the main police station. We were admitted by a kindly officer who showed us into the interview room – the one I’d described to the children.

‘I’ll tell DS Forbes you’re here,’ he said. ‘She’s with the social worker.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Do you want a drink and a biscuit?’ he asked the children.

Grace stared at him, while Jackson and Jenna shook their heads glumly.

‘No, thanks,’ I said. ‘I’ve got some packets of juice in my bag if they’re thirsty.’

‘Okey-dokey. Won’t be long,’ he said cheerily, and left the room.

‘I want to go home,’ Grace said, rubbing her eyes.

I drew her to the sofa and put my arm around her. ‘There’s nothing to worry about.’

‘I want Mummy,’ she said, and rubbed her eyes some more.

Jenna sat on the other side of Grace and took her hand, while Jackson knelt on the floor by the toy boxes and began taking out their contents. He didn’t give them much time – they were for younger children. I think it was just a distraction to keep him occupied. Once he’d taken the toys from the box, he began returning them one at a time. I picked up a picture book from the table and opened it on Grace’s lap so both she and Jenna could see. A few minutes passed and then the door opened and Frankie came in with the officer we’d previously seen and another one, both in plain clothes.

‘Hi, I’m Cary Forbes,’ the second officer said brightly and sat on one of the children’s chairs so she was at their height. The other officer waited to one side. It was clear Cary wanted to talk to all three children, so I called Jackson over. He perched on the arm of the sofa.

‘So, you’ve got the day off school,’ she began, trying to put them at ease. ‘Aren’t you lucky? You must be Jackson,’ she said to him. He managed a small nod. ‘Now let me guess, you’re Jenna and you’re Grace.’

‘Yes,’ Jenna said, while Grace stared at the officer suspiciously.

Cary then chatted generally to them about school, their friends and what they liked to do in their spare time, preparing them for talking about the real reason they were here. Gradually Jackson and Jenna began to relax and answered her questions, while Grace remained quiet and watchful. ‘There’s nothing to worry about,’ Cary said, seeing her expression. She then talked them through what was going to happen.

‘Frankie will be in the room with me, but Alf, my colleague here, will be behind that window over there working the camera. We all looked to where she pointed, but all you could see was a reflection of the room in the glass. I’d been shown the room behind the glass once and it was very small, with just enough space for the equipment and the officer working it.

‘Because there are three of you, I’m going to see you one at a time,’ she said. ‘And the other two will wait with Cathy in another room. I’ve put some crayons and paper in there.’ Then, looking at Frankie, she said. ‘I think Grace should go first, don’t you?’

‘Yes,’ Frankie agreed.

I thought that was sensible, to avoid her having to wait and worry, although whether she’d be able to answer any questions was doubtful.

‘I’ll show you where to go,’ Cary said to me, standing.

‘See you in a few minutes,’ I said to Grace and kissed the top of her head. As I stood, Frankie took my place on the sofa next to Grace.

Cary then showed Jackson, Jenna and me along the corridor and into the room where we were to wait. It just contained a table and four chairs. There was a packet of felt-tip pens, a stack of plain paper and some plastic cups containing water on the table.

‘If you need the toilet, it’s down the corridor on the left,’ Cary said as she left.

We sat at the table. I hadn’t been in this room before and compared to the interview suite we’d just come from it wasn’t comfortable or child-friendly. But I appreciated why they needed to interview each child separately, otherwise it could be said they’d colluded, which would render their evidence inadmissible. Before, I’d only brought one child and had stayed with them during the interview.

‘What shall we draw?’ I asked Jackson and Jenna positively, picking up the packet of felt-tips.

They both shrugged.

‘Can you play noughts and crosses?’ I asked.

‘Of course, that’s easy,’ Jackson said.

‘What about you, Jenna?’

She nodded.

‘Good.’ It was a simple game that didn’t require much concentration but would keep us occupied while we waited. As only two people could play at a time, I said, ‘You two go first and the winner plays me. Best out of five games.’

We helped ourselves to a felt-tip pen each and Jackson drew the boxes.

‘I’m going to be the cross,’ he said to Jenna. ‘And you can be the nought.’

The first game didn’t last long, Jackson beat Jenna easily. I didn’t think she was concentrating, as Jackson made a strategic error that could have cost him the game if Jenna had noticed. He won the second game too, but Jenna won the third. Then the door opened and Frankie came in, holding Grace’s hand. Grace was rubbing her eyes. Only fifteen minutes had passed since we’d left her. Frankie looked at me and shook her head, so I guessed Grace hadn’t been able to answer any questions or had been too upset, so they’d terminated the interview.

‘Come on, love, would you like a drink?’ I asked and brought her to the table. She looked hot – her cheeks were flushed – so I gave her one of the cups of water.

‘Jenna, your turn,’ Frankie said to her.

Jenna dutifully stood and left the room with Frankie.

‘I can’t play with her,’ Jackson said, referring to Grace. ‘She’s too young.’

‘We’ll play together,’ I said.

I waited until Grace had finished her drink and then let her choose a felt-tip pen. Jackson drew some more boxes and put a cross in one. I suggested to Grace where to put her nought. Jackson won a game and then Grace and I won the next two, and so it continued. Half an hour later, when the door opened, the table was littered with sheets of paper covered in noughts and crosses, and the score was four to Jackson and six to Grace and me.

‘Ready?’ Frankie asked Jackson as Jenna came over and sat quietly beside me at the table.

Jackson stood and left with Frankie. He was more relaxed now, having been involved in the game.

‘Everything all right?’ I asked Jenna after they’d gone.

Grace was looking at her too.

‘Cary asked me about Mum and Jerry,’ Jenna said. ‘I told them he was a friend who helped her, but I didn’t like him. Was that the right thing to say?’

‘If that’s how you felt, yes.’ She’d said similar to me before.

‘Cary asked why I didn’t like him.’ I was now expecting Jenna to say it was because he’d given her a babyish doll, which was what she’d said to me. But what she did say turned me cold. ‘He used to try to come into the toilet when I was in there. And when he used the toilet he never closed the door. One day, when we ran out of milk and Mum had to go to the shop, he stayed with us and he wanted to give Grace a bath to save Mum the trouble. Grace didn’t want a bath and Mum came back in time.’

‘You told Cary this?’ I checked, horrified.

‘Yes.’

‘Good.’

‘She asked me if Jerry ever touched me in a way that made me feel uncomfortable – you know, my private parts. I said he hadn’t, but I didn’t like it when he was in the house. When I went upstairs he always needed to use the toilet so he could come too. I’m sure he left the door open on purpose because he wanted me to see him wee. Cary asked if I told Mum about this, but I didn’t. Mum was so upset when Dad died and then Connor, I didn’t want to make it worse.’

‘I understand.’

Neither Jackson nor Connor had told their mother of the abuse either, because they hadn’t wanted to upset her. But in trying to protect her they had carried the burden of their suffering alone. It must have been crippling and had almost certainly played a part in Connor’s suicide, and Jackson’s subsequent behaviour. Not telling had also left the family wide open to more abuse – and possibly other families too.

‘I don’t like Jerry,’ Grace said, having heard what Jenna said.

‘Did you tell Cary?’ I asked her.

She shook her head. ‘Jerry gave me sweets.’

‘I know, love.’ How confusing for her – a five-year-old.

I would be noting all this in my log and letting Frankie know. I’d looked after children in the past who had disclosed more abuse after a police interview. It was as though the flood gates opened and memories they’d previously suppressed or hadn’t been able to talk about came pouring out. Conversely, some children never wanted to talk about it again and found that the police interview gave them some closure.