«Hate Me Now, Thank Me Later: How to raise your kid with love and limits» kitabından sitatlar

Exciting neuroscience research shows that if we parents can model calmness when our emotions are running high, we teach our kids to manage their emotions—what doctors call affect regulation. Affect regulation, in turn, lays down neurological pathways for a more resilient brain.

Rage and punishment may control behavior in the short run. Kids who are scared of their parents might appear submissive and even well behaved. But I assure you that intimidation as a means of control chips away at the foundation of the child’s self-esteem and paves the way for defenses to be built. The child’s real self goes underground.