Kitabı oxu: «Protect and Serve»
“Penny.”
The stiff and stilted tone of voice as well as his clipped manner let her know Jason was only speaking to be polite and wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.
Fine with me.
He kept those sexy, daring brown eyes on her, though. The straight and serious line of his mouth made her long for the days when those lips held smiles only for her.
Even though she secretly longed to see him smile just once, so she could see if the sight of those perfect teeth, those full lips and the dimple in his right cheek still had the ability to make her heart stop, she knew it was a lost cause.
And she didn’t have time for things she couldn’t change, wrongs she couldn’t correct.
She only needed to bury her grandmother and get out of town so she could have the nice, private breakdown she’d been putting on hold since she got the news.
“Jason.” He wasn’t the only one who could give a one-word greeting. She would have been willing to forgo speaking at all. She could do very well without the just-under-the-surface bad feelings threatening to bubble over and explode.
MILLS & BOON
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GWYNETH BOLTON
became an avid romance fan after sneak-reading her mother’s romance novels. In the nineties, she was introduced to African-American romance novels, and her life hasn’t been the same since. She has a B.A. and an M.A. in creative writing and a Ph.D. in English. She teaches writing and women’s studies at the college level. When she is not writing African-American romance novels, she is curled up with a cup of herbal tea, a warm quilt and a good book. She currently lives in Syracuse, New York, with her husband, Cedric. Readers can contact her via e-mail at gwynethbolton@prodigy.net or visit her Web site, http://www.gwynethbolton.com.
Protect and Serve
Gwyneth Bolton
This novel is dedicated to my mother Donna Pough,
my husband Cedric Bolton and every reader who has
reached out and shown me love. I appreciate and
love you all more than words could ever express.
Dear Reader,
Thanks for taking the time to read Jason and Penny’s story. This novel started with two questions: If home is where the heart is, what happens when you broke that heart long ago? Can you ever really go home again? Penny and Jason have some history, and they have some issues to work through before they can really connect and make their way back to one another. But their story, like other lovers-reunited stories, gives us hope for people being able to work out their differences and find love again. I’ve always wanted to write novels set in the city where I grew up—Paterson, New Jersey. When I wrote my first novels, the characters wanted to be from everywhere but places I’d actually lived in before. Imagine my surprise when this smart and sassy sister popped into my head, started whispering her story to me, and I realized she was a girl from home! I’m so happy the characters in my HIGHTOWER HONORS series are proving to me that I can go home again and take all of you with me. Be sure to pick up my September 2008 release, Make It Hot, for the next installment in the HIGHTOWER HONORS series.
Gwyneth Bolton
Contents
Acknowledgment
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Epilogue
Acknowledgment:
First I want to thank God for the many blessings in my life, especially the blessing to share my stories. I’d like to thank my family: my mother, Donna, my sisters, Jennifer, Cassandra, Michelle and Tashina, my nieces Ashlee and Zaria and my husband, Cedric. I want to send lots of love to my friends Angelique Justin, Jennifer Thorington-Springer, Cheryl Johnson, Kimberly Dillon-Shively and Yolanda Hood. And I want to send thanks and lots of love to my writer friends who read sections of Protect and Serve at various stages and offered comments and feedback. Thanks, A.C. Arthur, Jennifer Talty, Kari Townsend and Eleanor Shields.
Chapter 1
The worst part about funerals was, you had to make nice and be cordial to people you either despised or couldn’t care less about. There was something about death that brought out all the clichés: Life is short. You never know when you’re going to go. Treat each day like it’s your last. As if coming face-to-face with mortality would make a person want to “get right” before they had to explain to Saint Peter why they didn’t do better.
Penny Keys understood all of this in theory. But with Big Mama gone, she didn’t care about the niceties and what she should be doing.
Sophie Hightower embraced Penny as if the woman had been Big Mama’s closest friend, and ran off at the mouth about how good it was to see Penny again. And it was all Penny could do not to haul off cussing in the funeral home and shake up the staid and calm wake.
“Thanks, Sophie.” Penny couldn’t bring herself to fake pleasantries of any kind to this evil-mouthed, hateful old woman. She could barely manage a smile. Ever since getting the call from her mother, telling her Big Mama had passed away, Penny hadn’t been fully thinking or feeling. She’d functioned. She’d organized, planned, taken care of everything. But feeling? That was gone.
Heartbroken, dejected, lost…
Those words didn’t even begin to describe her mood. They certainly couldn’t cover the large hole that seemed to stretch on and on in her spirit. She only remembered feeling this empty one other time in her life. She’d had no idea the hollowness in her heart left over from that loss had any room for expansion. Yet there it was, growing and threatening to take her over at any moment if she dared let go of her tenuous grip on control.
Penny gave the funeral home another once-over, but still couldn’t find her mother, or anyone else who might save her from cursing Sophie out and making a mockery of Big Mama’s wake. Anyone, that is, but the man who caught her gaze immediately. Jason Hightower.
She knew the very second Sophie Hightower caught the passing glances between her and Jason, because the old woman’s fake smile dried up, and her well-wishing facial expression hardened ever so slightly. Sophie’s lips twisted as if she’d bitten into something bitter, and her shoulders reared back, causing her overly large bosom to poke out even more than the pointy cones already did. The tall, rich-mocha-complexioned woman with the full figure would have been considered forbidding on a good day. Once she had her panties in a bunch over one of her precious nephews possibly falling victim to an unworthy ’hood girl like Penny, forget about it…. Attitude overload.
Penny straightened her back and swallowed. She felt her hands clenching together at her side. She resisted the urge to take a scrunchie out of her purse, put her long locks in a ponytail, dig out the Vaseline and take off her earrings in preparation.
I will not cause a scene. I will not—
“So, when are you going back to California, Penny? You know there’s nothing for you here.” Sophie’s right eye slanted, and her lip tilted in a bit of a snarl.
Get thee behind me, Satan. I will not cuss this old woman out at Big Mama’s wake. I just won’t do it. I don’t care what you have this old biddy say to me.
As if on cue, Jason, with his confident swagger and cocky demeanor, came walking over.
Was it just her, or did the people in the crowded room of the funeral home seem to part and make way for Jason as he zeroed in on her? Penny hadn’t seen him in fifteen years and didn’t want to face him now. It didn’t appear she had much choice.
She tried to focus on anything else in the room besides him—the metal folding chairs in the corner, the stack of church fans piled on the wooden table along with a big white guest book and carefully folded programs. Even with those things to gaze at, her eyes still managed to find Jason’s again.
Those dark brown pools full of accusation and allure would surely be the death of her—or, at the very least, the end of her sanity—if she continued to look into them.
“Hi, Aunt Sophie.” Jason gave his aunt a big hug, all the while keeping his eyes fixed on Penny.
He had changed from the eighteen-year-old love of her life. His athletic build appeared stronger, more substantial, if that were possible. He was still tall. And his deep mahogany complexion was still flawless. For some reason, however, this grown-up Jason seemed larger than life. His presence filled the room, and left her feeling a barrage of things she didn’t dare try and label. The dark, navy-blue designer suit he wore fit as if it were custom-made for him.
They must be paying police detectives well these days, Penny thought wryly, as she let her eyes roam Jason’s appealing but also very off-limits body.
She was there to bury Big Mama, and that was it. As much as she despised the meddling Sophie Hightower, the woman was right. There wasn’t anything here for Penny—anything or anyone.
“Penny.” The stiff and stilted tone of voice as well as his clipped manner let her know Jason was only speaking to be polite and wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.
Fine with me.
He kept those sexy, daring brown eyes on her, though. The straight and serious line of his mouth made her long for the days when those lips held smiles only for her.
Even though she secretly longed to see him smile just once, so she could see if the sight of those perfect teeth, those full lips and the dimple in his right cheek still had the capability to make her heart stop, she knew it was a lost cause.
And she didn’t have time for things she couldn’t change, wrongs she couldn’t correct.
She only needed to bury her grandmother and get out of town so she could have the nice private breakdown she’d been putting on hold since she got the news.
“Jason.” He wasn’t the only one who could give a one-word greeting. She would have been willing to forgo speaking at all. She could very well do without the just-under-the-surface bad feelings threatening to bubble up and explode.
“Sorry about Big Mama. She’ll be missed. I used to stop by and check up on her a couple of times during the week. I never would have thought we’d lose her. Seemed like she would be here forever.” His eyes softened a little, then hardened again just as quickly.
Big Mama never told me she was visiting with Jason twice a week.
But Big Mama wouldn’t have. When Penny called, it was all about Penny. And Penny was sure that when Jason visited, Big Mama made those moments just for him. That was her way.
The huge lump that had taken up residence in her chest since she had gotten the news of Big Mama’s passing began to throb. Big Mama was really gone, and there was nothing she could do about it. The thought of it made her want to curl up in a corner and just weep until she ran out of tears.
But there was too much to do now. She could cry when she went back to Los Angeles. Right now, she needed to get the wake and the awkward reunion with Jason and his evil aunt over and done with.
With no time to get choked up, Penny took a deep breath. Taking another, she relished the calm that overcame her body.
Sophie cleared her throat and stepped back. “Yes, she will be missed dearly. The Deaconess Board at Mount Zion won’t be the same without her.”
Giving Penny a quick and cutting glare, she added, “I’m going to leave you to greet the rest of your guests, dear. Come along, Jason. Penny can’t be rude and spend all her time talking to us.”
Subtlety had never been Sophie’s strong point.
Jason nodded to his aunt and then returned his intense stare to Penny. “You can go ahead, Aunt Sophie. I’ll catch up with you.”
No, you go, too. Follow your dear, sweet aunt. I can’t deal with you right now, Jason Hightower. Urgh…
Penny inhaled and exhaled.
Remember…calm, girly, calm.
She wondered what kind of visualization technique she could use to ease her nerves and get her through the wake and the proximity of the former love of her life. The image of Sophie Hightower’s head being compressed in a metal vise held some appeal.
A bright, gleaming, false smile covered Sophie’s face just before she cut her eyes at Penny. “Fine. I’m going to go and find my baby brother.” She turned to her nephew. “Be sure not to tie up too much of Penny’s time.” She draped her scarf across her shoulder and haughtily took off across the room.
Penny watched Sophie waltz away, all the while mentally crushing the woman’s head, until Jason’s smooth baritone interrupted her concentration.
“It’s good to see you back, in spite of the horrible circumstances, Penny. Too bad you couldn’t have visited when Big Mama was alive.”
How did his cocky, tell-everyone-what-they-need-to-be-doing personality not bother me all through high school? Oh, wait…it did—until he made me fall in love with him….
Penny swallowed. Being home again had dredged up enough of her feelings of guilt. She didn’t need Jason to remind her of all the reasons she was a horrible person.
She knew she should have visited more. During the time she’d been away, she had spoken to Big Mama five, sometimes six times a week. Penny had flown her grandmother out to Los Angeles for visits at least once a year. Once she had finished school and could afford the costs, she’d never neglected the woman who had raised her.
Penny pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “Big Mama understood better than anyone my reasons for moving away and staying away. And most important, she knew I loved her.”
“Are you sure about that? Because from what I could see, that woman missed you and mourned you the entire time. And for you to stay away that long shows what a cruel, heartless, selfish—” Jason took a deep breath, glared at her and cut himself off.
She knew he’d been about to say something that couldn’t be taken back. It wouldn’t have been the first time.
The two of you deserve each other—a backstabber and a slut. I can’t believe I ever trusted either one of you. The harsh words he had spoken fifteen years ago echoed in her mind as she took in his mahogany face. The ruggedly handsome and manly face glaring at her right now had residual traces of the anger that had covered his more boyish face fifteen years ago.
She braced herself as best she could, given the fact that she had just lost the only person in the world who understood her and loved her unconditionally. And the only other person she had ever loved with her whole being was standing in front of her, blasting her in a creepily déjà vu manner.
She inhaled and exhaled several times. “You need to calm down, Jason. This is not the time or the place. If you cared about Big Mama as much as you claim you did, then you wouldn’t disrespect her wake like this.”
A hand rested on her shoulder and stopped her from saying more. Praying it wasn’t her mother, Penny turned around.
Terrill had finally made it.
Penny let out a sigh of relief.
“Everything all right?” Terrill spoke the words to her, but his serious hazel eyes remained fixed on Jason.
Giving him a heartfelt hug and greeting, Penny felt herself shake just a little. She had no idea how much longer she was going to be able to hold up. But at least with Terrill—one of her oldest and dearest friends—there, she wouldn’t have to go it alone.
“Everything is fine, Terrill. I’m glad you were able to make it.”
She had just seen her friend before she left Los Angeles, so she knew Jason’s presence was what made her extra happy to see Terrill. She leaned on Terrill’s sturdy shoulder and clasped the arm of his suit jacket.
Terrill smiled at her and winked, his way of letting her know he was there for her no matter what.
Most of the people in the room were checking Terrill out. Success seemed to exude from him in ripples, and those who’d known him when he and his mother lived in a small one-bedroom attic apartment were either happy for him or jealous. The way eyes darted and conversations took place behind hands showed that Terrill had given many of the folks in the room something to talk about.
In fact, given the history the three of them shared, the room was probably abuzz with gossip.
She was very proud of Terrill, because she knew what it meant for both of them to make it from their inner-city neighborhood in Paterson, New Jersey, to their positions as movers and shakers in Los Angeles. Not many people from Warren Street who attended PS #10 and then Eastside High School ended up where they were. The two of them were kids from the ’hood who’d done well for themselves.
Shocked by how much she needed someone to lean on at this moment, she let out another sigh. Shooting a hesitant glance at Jason, she couldn’t help but notice the intense anger in his glare.
Whoever said time healed all wounds told a big lie.
It seemed as if everyone in the funeral home had their eyes on the trio. Penny lifted her hand to her right eye and rubbed it across the tiny scar she had gotten when she was twelve. Although it was barely noticeable now, whenever Penny felt uncomfortable or put on the spot, her hand found and worried the small mark. She circled it with her pointer finger for a minute before she forced herself to put her hand down at her side.
So what if everyone in the funeral home was probably waiting to see if the three former best friends would cause a scene? She refused to turn into a ball of nerves for their entertainment.
As an image consultant, she knew the importance of appearances. The only thing a person really had any control over was the image he or she put forth. The perceptions of others might have been out of her hands, but that didn’t mean she had to play to anyone’s expectations.
“Hey, Jason. How’s it going?” Terrill made an attempt to reach out to his old friend and got a harsh stare and a sneer for his trouble. His warm-honey complexion took on a tint of red when his former friend snubbed him. He slanted his hazel eyes and nodded.
“You’re right, Penny. This isn’t the time or the place.” Jason gave her a once-over before walking away, and didn’t even bother looking at Terrill. “It wouldn’t even be worth it, anyway.”
Her heart stilled, and a pain so sharp it could only be the reopening of an old, barely healed wound throbbed in her chest. Chancing a glance at Terrill, she couldn’t help noticing that he had been seriously stung by Jason’s words, as well. The two men hadn’t been able to say a kind word to one another in fifteen years.
Terrill squeezed her shoulder, and she knew he was trying to let her know he didn’t blame her for losing his best friend. His attempt at comfort made the pain even worse.
Looking at them now, no one would be able to tell people used to jokingly call them the Three Musketeers and tease them about being joined at the hip. They had been best friends since grade school, and the three-way friendship hadn’t changed when Jason and Penny became high school sweethearts. They hadn’t thought anything would be able to come between them. But they had been wrong.
Jason hated Penny and Terrill now, and it was all her fault. The realization that it was too late to correct the past caused a sharp pain in her chest.
Penny cringed.
If Jason Hightower could still hurt her with his words in the same way he had when she had left Paterson years ago, then she had no business being back here.
As soon as the funeral was over and done with, she was getting out of there as fast as her feet could carry her.
As Jason walked away, he mentally chided himself for losing control the way he had. There was something about seeing Penny again after so much time that brought back all his emotions about what had happened when they were seniors in high school and thought they had had their entire lives in front of them.
Seeing the man responsible for ruining all his dreams come up and comfort the woman he would always see as his did nothing to soothe Jason’s raging emotions.
Neither of the two people who had betrayed him in the worst way possible had been home in years. Terrill had come back more often than Penny, who hadn’t been home once since she left. He had run into Terrill off and on through the years, but could never bring himself to speak to the man.
Of the two of them, Jason didn’t know whom he blamed more. Thinking of Terrill’s betrayal made the blood run cold in his body. Numbness had come over him when he saw his former best friend, the man he had thought would one day stand with him at his wedding. Any emotion he felt seemed to be layered with ice, and he liked it that way. He didn’t think he would ever thaw when it came to Terrill.
And Penny? Well, seeing her in person again for the first time in fifteen years caused his blood to boil and his body to run hot.
Anger. Hurt. Attraction…?
His conflicting feelings made for one jacked-up combination, as far as he was concerned.
How could he still be attracted to her?
Seeing the two of them together made him run hot and cold at the same time, and Jason wasn’t comfortable with the impact their presence had on him.
It didn’t help that Penny still looked gorgeous. The simple black dress she wore clung to her curves in ways that brought scandalous thoughts—certainly thoughts he shouldn’t have been having at a wake—to his mind. The designer sandals with lots of straps and stiletto heels did things to her calves that caused his pulse to quicken.
But that was nothing compared to what it did to his heart to see that toasted-cinnamon face, those bold copper eyes and that beautiful sandy-brown hair, all in the form of a woman whom had grown up to be just as beautiful as he’d always known she would be. Her hair was styled in those thin sister-locks and hung loose around her face and down her back. The sisterlocks had soft blond and bronze highlights that shimmered and beckoned to him to reach out and caress them.
“I heard Terrill saw the light and got rid of that little slut soon after they left town.” Aunt Sophie had snuck up behind him, and now she tilted her head toward the corner of the crowded funeral home where Terrill sat with Penny.
Jason didn’t know how he felt about the fact that his aunt had probably seen him watching the two of them make their way to a set of folding chairs in the corner. He knew for sure he didn’t like his supposedly saved and sanctified aunt calling Penny a slut, no matter how much the name seemed to fit.
He had even called her that himself, once upon a time.
Now, in spite of how she had hurt him, he regretted lashing out at her. Years and some distance had him rethinking everything that happened back then. Maybe it was his cop’s instincts, or his cold-case training, but something about those past events still nagged at him.
“Is that any way for the president of the Deaconess Board to talk, Aunt Sophie? I swear, your mouth is worse than some of the criminals I arrest.” Jason pinned a disapproving gaze on Sophie, in hopes it would halt her bad talk about Penny.
“I’m just calling it like I see it. I’m just letting you know your friend Terrill had the sense to let her go. You should, too. A girl like that is bad news. Just look at her mama.” Aunt Sophie paused and hissed as she sucked her teeth in disgust.
“And Doreen, God bless the dead, as hard as she tried to make sure that Penny didn’t end up like Carla, look at her. She threw away the best thing that ever happened to her and went off to California, dancing in music videos. It’s a wonder Doreen didn’t drop dead from the shock of it.”
Sophie offered a dramatic pause and threw her head toward the heavens for effect. “Her daughter whoring her body for crack cocaine, and her granddaughter whoring her body for God knows what to the tune of that god-awful rap music. Lord, have mercy!”
Jason counted to ten before saying a word to his aunt. The woman meant well; he knew she did. She had been the one who had comforted him when Penny had broken his heart.
He also knew as well as anyone that Penny had used those few videos she’d modeled in to help pay for college. She was a successful businesswoman now, who didn’t trade in on her looks—her still gut-wrenchingly beautiful looks—to make a living.
He chanced another glance at Penny and found himself lingering again over her soft, cinnamon-toned skin. She had always been shapely, and what had been a knockout body when she was a teenager had turned into a to-die-for body in the woman. Her curves spoke to him from behind her black wrap-style dress, and he silently reminded himself that they were in a place for mourning, not salivating. Captivated, he tried to get past the in-your-face realization that his copper-eyed girl had turned into a gorgeous woman.
Just as he was about to open his mouth to let his aunt know what he thought of her snide remarks, he stopped himself, wondering why he felt so compelled to stand up for Penny. She had no loyalty, and she certainly didn’t deserve his. Shaking his head, he walked away from his aunt.
Deciding he needed some air, he walked outside of Lee’s Funeral Home and took big gulps. Taking in the vibrant street life happening all around him on Rosa Parks Boulevard, he had to wonder why he’d bothered to show up at the wake at all.
Sure, he had loved and respected Doreen “Big Mama” Keys as much as anyone. But he could have just attended the funeral and paid his respects the next day—from a distance. As it was, now he’d be seeing Penny two days in a row.
Glancing across the street, he noticed his brothers—Lawrence, Joel and Patrick—exiting their vehicles. Lawrence stopped to talk to four teenagers hanging on the corner, who immediately hustled to hide their dice and cash. Jason kept his eyes focused on them, in case they gave Lawrence any trouble.
Lawrence, a well-known narcotics detective, actually worked this part of town, so Jason doubted his brother would have any trouble. Lawrence saw a lot more action as a narc than Jason did as a forensics expert and cold-case detective.
The teenagers cleared the corner, and within seconds Jason’s three older brothers were standing in front of him.
All three shared the trademark Hightower rugged good looks. They were tall, had skin in varying shades of mahogany, and their looks had been known to drive women wild. Joel and Patrick were both firemen with the Paterson Fire Department. And he and Lawrence were both detectives with the Paterson Police Department.
“Hey, ’lil bro.” Joel reached out and gave Jason a quick hug.
Lawrence and Patrick followed with the same greeting, and then they all just stood there.
He could tell that they were trying to feel him out, that they wanted to ask if he’d seen Penny yet.
“We came to pay our respects,” Patrick offered, clearly sick of the silence. His older brother normally had little use for small talk or other common niceties. He was a shoot-from-the-hip kind of guy whose brash manner normally didn’t go over well with the ladies.
“Yeah. That’s good. You should,” Jason responded.
“She here?” Never one to mince words, Joel seldom bit his tongue. However, he usually tempered his demeanor with wisecracks and his playboy charm. He was definitely the ladies’ man of the family.
Jason caught Lawrence giving Joel a why-did-you-bring-that-up look.
“She’s here,” was all Jason could say in response.
“Well, it was a long time ago, Jason. You need to just let it go. You guys were young. You’ve moved on. She’s moved on. It was the past. Don’t be all sulky about it fifteen years later. And for Pete’s sake, don’t cause any drama at the wake.” Joel was only a couple of years older than Jason. But Jason swore when it came to getting in his business and trying to boss him around, Joel had the older brothers beat.
“Joel is right, Jason. This isn’t the time. And besides, women are scandalous, anyway. We all know this. Don’t let her deceit get to you.” Patrick, still bitter over his divorce and his cheating ex-wife, wouldn’t give any woman the benefit of the doubt.
Catching his woman in bed with another man must have been hard on Patrick. Even five years later, he still hadn’t really gotten past it.
Jason could sympathize with his older brother in more ways than he had ever let any of them know. He had never told his family the full story of his breakup with Penny.
He took a deep breath. After years of distance, he suspected that the things he’d been made to believe back then might be false. He was determined to find out, one way or another, once and for all.
“I agree. Shake it off, baby bro. Be the bigger person. Let it go.” Lawrence slanted his left eye when he spoke, as if it would help make his point more clearly. Lawrence was suspicious of just about everyone, and it probably had a lot to do with the things he had seen working in the narcotics division of the police force. But he was a stand-up guy who always tried to do the right thing. The only problem was, he always encouraged others to do the same.
Since Jason didn’t want to have this conversation with his brothers, especially not on the front steps of the funeral home, he just nodded.
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.
