“I said in my note that I would be back. I just had a few things to take care of.” He pulled up a chair but she patted the bed for him to sit beside her.
She looked a lot better than she had earlier. Her eyes were brighter and there was more color in her cheeks, and as he sat, he noticed that her hair was damp. As if reading his mind, she said, “They let me take a shower. It felt so wonderful. And tomorrow they want me to start walking, to get the strength back in my legs.”
“That’s good, right?”
“The nurse said the sooner I’m up and moving around on my own, the sooner they’ll discharge me.” She reached for his hand, and he had no choice but to take it. “I can hardly wait to go home. I’m sure that once I’m there, I’ll start to remember things.”
He hoped not. At least, not for a while. That could definitely complicate things. “I’m sure it will,” he told her.
“Did the hotel still have my things?” she asked hopefully.
“Hotel?”
Her brow furrowed. “I just assumed I was staying at a hotel, while I did my research.”
He cursed himself for letting his guard down. The last thing he wanted was to rouse her suspicions. He swiftly backpedaled.
“You were. I just thought for a second that you remembered something. And yes, they did. Your suitcase is in the trunk of my car. I’ll keep it at my hotel until you’re released.”
“What about my research? Were there papers or files or anything?”
“Not that I saw,” he said, realizing that the lies were coming easier now. “But your laptop was there.”
Her eyes lit with excitement. “There might be something on it that will shake my memory!”
“I thought of that. I booted it up, but it’s password protected, so unless you remember the password….” He watched as Melody’s excitement fizzled away. “Tell you what,” he said. “When we get back to San Francisco I’ll have the tech people at work take a look at it. Maybe they can hack their way in.”
“Okay,” she agreed, looking a little less defeated, but he could see that she was disappointed.
In reality, he would be calling work at his soonest convenience and with any luck one of the tech guys could walk him through hacking the system himself. Only after he removed anything pertaining to the baby or the affair, or anything personal that might jog her memory, would he let her have it back.
It would be easier to have the hard drive reformatted, but that might look too suspicious. He’d thought of not mentioning the laptop at all, but it stood to reason that since she was a student, she would have one.
He could have lied and said it was destroyed in the accident, but unfortunately it was too late for that now.
“Can you do me a favor?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“Can you tell me about myself?”
“Like what?”
“My family, my friends, where I’m from. Anything.”
The truth was, despite living together for three years, he didn’t know a heck of a lot about Melody. If she had friends at school, she didn’t mention them, and when she wasn’t in school, he really wasn’t sure what she did with her time, other than cooking his dinners, cleaning their condo and of course shopping. She had always kept personal things pretty close to the vest. Either that or he had just never thought to ask.
But she looked so hopeful, he had to come up with something.
“Your mom died before I met you,” he told her. “Ovarian cancer, I think. You told me that you never knew your real father, but you’d had something like five or six stepfathers growing up.”
“Wow, that’s a lot. Where did I grow up?”
He struggled to remember what she had told him when they first met. “All over, I think. You said that she moved you around a lot. I know you resented it.”
Just as he had resented so many things from his own childhood. The cancer not even being the worst of it. But he was in no mood to dredge that up. Besides, she had no idea that he’d been sick. It just never came up. He and Mel knew each other, especially in the biblical sense, but they didn’t really know each other.
He’d been so sure that was the way he’d wanted it, so jaded by his marriage, he never considered that he might want more. Not until it was too late.
Melody had this look, like the playground bully had just stolen her candy. “Wow. It sounds like I had a pretty lousy childhood.”
Ash felt a jab of guilt for painting such a grim picture.
“I’m sure there were good things,” he told her. “You just never talked about it much.”
“How did we meet?”
The memory brought a smile to his face. Now, this was something he remembered. “A company party. At Maddox Communications.”
“That’s where you work, right?”
He nodded. “You were there with some cocky junior rep. Brent somebody. A real jerk. But the instant I saw you standing by the bar, wearing this slinky little black number, I couldn’t look away. Hell, every man in the room had their eye on you. He was droning on, probably thinking he was hot shit because he was with the sexiest woman at the party, and you had this look like you were counting the minutes until you could send him and his overinflated ego packing. You looked over and saw me watching you. You gave me a thorough once-over, then flashed me this sexy smile.”
Her eyes went wide. “I did that?”
Her surprise made him laugh. “Yeah. At that point I had no choice but to rescue you. So I walked over and asked you to dance.”
“How did my date feel about that?”
Ash grinned, recalling the shocked look on the kid’s face, the indignant glare as Ash led Mel onto the dance floor and pulled her into his arms. “He didn’t look very happy.”
“What did he do?”
“What could he do? I was CFO, he was a lowly junior rep. I could have squashed him. Although, if memory serves, someone else eventually did. I don’t think he lasted long with the firm.”
“So we danced?” she said, a dreamy look on her face.
“All night.” Ash had been the envy of every man at the party. At the time he’d still been reeling from his divorce and the ego boost was a welcome one. It wasn’t until later that he realized just how thorough of a boost she intended to give him.
“Then what happened?” she asked.
“You asked if you could see my office, so I took you there. The instant the door closed we were all over each other.”
She swallowed hard, looking as scandalized as she was intrigued. And maybe a little turned on, too. “Then what?”
“You really have to ask?”
“We had sex in your office?” she asked in a hushed voice, as if she worried someone would overhear. “Right after we met?”
This from the woman who had never hesitated to tell him exactly what she wanted, when she wanted it, in the bluntest of sexual terms. Language that would make a lot of women blush. Or blanch.
He grinned and nodded. “On the desk, on the sofa, in my chair. Up against the plate-glass window overlooking the bay.”
Her cheeks flushed bright pink. “We did it against a window? “
“You’ve always had voyeuristic tendencies.” He’d never met a woman more confident, more comfortable in her own skin, than Melody. Though he would never admit it aloud, her brazen nature could be the slightest bit intimidating at times.
But obviously now something had changed. There was a vulnerability in her eyes that he’d never seen before. A hesitance she had never shown. Truth be told, he kind of liked it. And maybe it softened him up just a little. He may have supported Mel for the past three years, but he would never make the mistake of thinking that she depended on him. Had she not met him, she would have managed just fine on her own.
He’d forgotten what it felt like to have someone need him.
“I can’t believe I slept with you on the first date,” she said. “I can’t imagine what you must have thought of me.”
“Actually, with my divorce barely final, it was exactly what I needed.”
“You were married before?”
“For seven years.”
“Why did you split up?”
“I guess you could say it was due to a total lack of appreciation.”
“What do you mean?”
“She didn’t appreciate the hours I worked, and I didn’t appreciate her screwing her personal trainer in my bed.”
She sucked in a surprised breath, clearly outraged on his behalf. “She cheated on you?”
“For quite some time as I understand it.” He wondered how Melody would feel if she knew she had done the same thing? Although, as far as he knew, never in his bed. But that was just geography. Cheating was cheating.
Melody tightened her grip on his hand. He hadn’t even realized she was holding it. It occurred to him suddenly how cozy this little scenario had become. Too cozy for his liking.
He pulled his hand free and looked at his watch. “It’s late. I should let you get some sleep.”
“Did I say something wrong?” she asked, looking troubled. “Because if it bothers you to talk about your ex, we can talk about something else.”
Frankly, he was all talked out. He wasn’t sure what else to say to her. And he wished she would stop being so. nice. Not that she hadn’t been nice before, but she’d always had an edge. A sharp wit and a razor-edged tongue. Now she was being so sweet and understanding, she was making it tough for him to hold on to his anger. To be objective.
“You didn’t say anything wrong. It’s just, well, it’s been a really long day. Maybe I’m the one who’s tired.”
“I’m sorry, I’m being selfish,” she said, looking truly apologetic. “I didn’t even take into consideration how hard this has been for you.”
“It has been a long couple of weeks not knowing where you were,” he said, which only made her look more guilty. “I’m sure I’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”
“Go,” she said, making a shooing gesture. “Get some sleep.”
“Are you sure? I can stay longer if you want me to.”
“No. I’m tired anyway. I’ll probably watch a few minutes of television then fall asleep.”
He had the distinct feeling she was lying, because honestly, she didn’t look the least bit tired. But he wasn’t going to argue.
“I’ll be back first thing tomorrow,” he assured her, rising from the edge of the bed.
“Thank you,” she said, her expression earnest.
“For what?”
“Telling me those things about myself. It makes me feel a little less … lost. Even if it wasn’t quite what I expected.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, and leaned down to brush a kiss across her forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As he walked from the room he heard the television click on. He couldn’t help feeling the slightest bit guilty for leaving her alone, but he had a charade to plan.
It turned out that Ash didn’t need the help of the tech guys at Maddox Communications to hack into Melody’s computer. After only five or six tries, he figured the password out all by himself. His birthday. The fact that it was something so simple surprised him a little, but he was grateful.
His first task was to remove evidence of Melody’s affair from her computer, only she must have been very careful because he found nothing, not even a phone number or an entry in her calendar, that suggested she was sneaking around.
As for the baby, there were a few doctor appointments listed on her calendar, and the history in her Internet browser showed visits to several children’s furniture store sites and a site called Mom-to-be.com, where it appeared she had been tracking her pregnancy—she was fourteen weeks and four days on the day of the accident—and blogging on a page for single mothers.
Apparently she had every intention of doing this alone. Was it possible that the father of the baby was nothing more than a one-night stand? A glorified sperm donor?
He skimmed the entries she had written, hoping to find a clue as to who the man was, or the circumstances surrounding their relationship. But after more than an hour of reading, all he’d learned was that the baby’s father was, in her words, not involved. He noted that some of the earlier posts dated back to the weeks before she left him. It was also clear, by the tone of her posts, that she was very excited to be a mother, which surprised him.
She had always been so independent and career focused, he didn’t think she even wanted a family. Of course, that was never something they talked about. Maybe because she knew that if she wanted children, she wouldn’t be having them with him. Not naturally anyway. Knowing that he couldn’t father a child of his own, he’d resigned himself to the idea of not having them at all.
What he found even more disturbing than the information about the baby was a file folder with electronic copies of her report cards. They dated back the past four semesters. Whenever Ash asked her about school, which admittedly wasn’t very often, Mel claimed things were going great. Which was hard to believe now that he saw that she had been clinging to a low C average, when he knew for a fact that in her first year she’d never scored anything lower than an A minus.
It was as if she had lost her interest in the law. But if that was the case, why hadn’t she said anything? It was true that they didn’t normally talk about those kinds of things, but going to school for a career she no longer wanted seemed worth mentioning. Especially when he was shelling out the money for her tuition.
The more Ash looked through her files and read her e-mails, the more he began to realize that after three years together, he barely knew Melody. She lived a life that, outside the bedroom, had little to do with him. And though that was the way he’d always wanted it, he couldn’t help but feel … indignant. And maybe a little angry with himself for not taking the time to get to know her better.
He may have been there for her financially, but even he had to admit that emotionally, he’d been pretty much vacant.
Which was exactly what they had agreed to going into this relationship, so he had no absolutely no reason to feel as though he had wronged her somehow.
If that was true, why did he feel like such a jerk?
Maybe his ex was right. Maybe he’d been too cold and distant. Maybe he used work as an escape from dealing with the ups and downs of his personal relationships. And maybe, like his ex-wife, Melody had grown tired of the distance. Tired of being alone.
Regardless of what she felt, that was no excuse to be unfaithful. If she wanted more, she should have leveled with him. Although for the life of him, he wasn’t sure what he would have told her. If she had given him an ultimatum—a real relationship or she would find someone new—would he have been able to just let her go? A real relationship just seemed like so much work. More than he had time for.
But he was here now, wasn’t he? He had made the time for this. Didn’t that tell him something?
Sure it did, he just wasn’t sure what. But he knew that at some point he was going to have to figure it out. Maybe it was simply that being with Melody had been very easy, and he wasn’t quite ready to give that up.
Unfortunately, remembering how good things had been made her betrayal sting that much more.
Just as he promised, Ash was back at the hospital as soon as visiting hours began the next morning. He was dressed casually this time, in slacks and a silk, button-down shirt. And she could tell, as he walked into the room, a sly grin on his face, that he was holding something behind his back. Probably flowers.
“Wow, you look great,” he said, and she knew he wasn’t just saying it to be nice because the nurse had said the same thing.
“I feel really good,” she admitted, and she was pretty sure it had a lot to do with him. Before he came to see her yesterday she had felt so depressed and alone. As though she had nothing to look forward to, no reason to get better. Everything was different now. She was engaged to be married, and had a home to return to. A whole life to explore and relearn. What more could she ask for?
“I got my appetite back in a big way. I just finished breakfast and I’m already anxious for lunch. Although I have to say, the food here leaves a lot to be desired.”
“There’s a diner a few blocks from here that has decent food. Maybe I can pick you up something for lunch, if it’s okay with your doctor.”
“I’ll make sure the nurse asks him. I could go for a big juicy burger and greasy French fries.”
“I didn’t know you liked burgers and fries.”
“What do I usually eat?”
“Salads and chicken mostly. Occasionally you’ll have red meat, but not more than once a week. You’ve always been extremely health conscious.”
“Well, I keep seeing these fast-food ads and every time they show a burger my mouth starts to water. I’ll worry about being health conscious when I’m out of the hospital.” Which was a completely backward way of looking at it, she realized, but she didn’t even care. Eating like a rabbit wouldn’t build her strength and get her the heck out of here.
“A burger and fries it is then,” he said, and he was still hiding whatever it was he was holding behind his back.
“So, are you going to show me what you’ve got there, or make me guess?” she asked.
“You mean this?” he asked, his smile widening as he pulled a laptop from behind him.
“Is that mine?” she asked and he nodded. “I thought it was password protected. Did you talk to the guys at work already?”
He set it in her lap. “I didn’t have to. I made a few educated guesses and figured it out for myself.”
She squealed with excitement. “Oh, my gosh! You’re my hero!”
He regarded her quizzically, as if she had just said something totally off the wall.
“What?” she asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Sorry. I just never imagined you as the kind of a woman who would have a hero. You’re far too self-sufficient.”
“Well, I do now,” she said with a smile. “And it’s you.”
She opened the laptop and pressed the button to boot it up, relieved that at least she recalled how. When the password screen popped up, she looked to Ash.
“Type in one, one, nineteen, seventy-five.”
“What is it?”
“My birthday.”
I guess it made sense that she would use her fiancé’s birthday as a password. Unless she didn’t want him getting into her files, which obviously wasn’t an issue. She typed the digits in and the system screen popped up. “It worked!”
“You remember how to use it?”
She nodded. Like so many other things, navigating the computer just seemed to come naturally. She only hoped that the information it contained would spark other memories. Personal memories.
“I’m going to head down to the gift store and see if they have a Wall Street Journal,” Ash said, and Melody nodded, only half listening as she began opening files on her desktop. “If they don’t, I might try to find one at the party store around the block.”
“‘Kay,” she said. “Take your time.”
She started with her e-mail, thinking saved messages would hold the most information, but there weren’t many. And of the dozen or so, most were from Ash. It seemed a little strange, especially being in school, that she didn’t have more, but it was always possible she kept them on an off-site server for safekeeping. Especially if they were for her supposed research, and were of a high security nature.
Or maybe her imagination was getting the best of her again.
She opened her calendar next, going back for several months, and found nothing but her school schedule, a few theater and party dates with Ash, and of course her research trip, which according to this should have ended a few days after her accident. She also found a recent appointment with a wedding planner that they had missed, and realized that not only were they engaged, but apparently they had already set a date. One they would probably be forced to postpone now.
She quit out of her calendar and opened her photo file, but either she kept her pictures online or on a disk, or she wasn’t a very sentimental person, because there were very few. Shots of herself and Ash, mostly. None of friends or fellow students. And none of family, which was no surprise since she didn’t have any.
She did have a vast music library, and while she liked the various songs she sampled, she didn’t relate them to any specific memories or events.
She went through file after file, but not a single thing, not even her school papers, looked familiar to her. She tried to be logical about it. She had barely been out of her coma for four days and the doctor had said it would take time. Logically she knew this, and she was trying to heed his advice. Emotionally though, she felt like putting her fist through the nearest wall.
“I hope you’re not doing schoolwork already!” the nurse said as she walked in to check Melody’s IV. Which was kind of a ridiculous notion, since not only would Melody not have a clue what work had been assigned, but even if she did, she wouldn’t have any idea how to do it. She didn’t remember anything about the law. But she had to cut the nurse some slack. It probably wasn’t often she dealt with amnesia patients.
“I’m just looking at photos and things,” Melody told her. “I was hoping I would remember something.”
“That’s a great idea! How’s it going?”
“Nothing so far.”
She hung a fresh IV bag and tossed the empty one in the trash by the sink. “Dr. Nelson would like to see you up and moving around today. But only with assistance,” she added sternly.
Melody wouldn’t dare try it alone. When she’d taken her shower earlier the nurse had to help her, and she had to shower sitting down. Her legs felt like limp spaghetti noodles and she was so dizzy she was having trouble staying upright.
“We could take a few practice steps right now,” the nurse suggested, a not-so-subtle nudge, but Melody wasn’t quite ready to put her computer aside.
“Could we maybe do it after lunch?” she asked.
“All right, but don’t put it off too long. You need to rebuild your strength.”
Melody knew that better than everyone else. And though walking might still be a challenge, she could feel herself improving by leaps and bounds. She gave most of the credit to Ash.
He’d given her something to fight for.
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.