Kitabı oxu: «Pregnant With The Rancher's Baby»

This book is dedicated to my beautiful daughter, Angela DeNosky Blumenstock.

Thank you for the research help and for being the sweetest daughter a mother could ever ask for.

One

Nate Rafferty couldn’t help but smile as he looked around the big, open area in one of his newly constructed barns. From the minute he’d mentioned having a party to celebrate his buying and renovating the Twin Oaks Ranch, his brothers’ wives had decided it needed to be a theme party. He’d been fine with that and told his sisters-in-law they were in charge of making it happen.

He’d even left the decision up to the women on what the theme would be, and they had outdone themselves, turning what was going to be his hay barn into a kid-friendly haunted house and full-on Halloween party. The monsters, scarecrows and ghosts were cute rather than scary, and his niece and nephews were going to love all the pumpkins, happy jack-o’-lanterns and garlands of colorful fall leaves that had been hung around the dance floor and bandstand.

Trying to decide if he wanted to go as the Lone Ranger or John Wayne, Nate walked out of the barn and started across the ranch yard toward the house. He’d gone only a few feet when he stopped dead in his tracks. A petite blond-haired woman was just getting out of the gray compact SUV she’d parked close to the garage.

How in the name of Sam Hill had she found him? And why?

He’d purposely avoided mentioning anything about buying the Twin Oaks Ranch to Jessica Farrell. He’d planned to wait until he finished renovating it, so he could surprise her and invite her to spend a weekend with him. Of course, the last time he’d seen her had been about four and a half months back—when she had still been speaking to him.

Not that he’d been all that worried about it. He had never had a problem charming his way back into her good graces and he had no reason to believe he couldn’t do so again, even though she’d been pretty determined that their on-again, off-again relationship was permanently off.

It had been that way between them for the past couple of years and whenever it seemed like things were getting a little too serious, he always found a reason to break things off between them. But the last time she’d told him not to bother calling her again and to forget where she lived.

Of course, it wasn’t the first time she’d told him to lose her phone number. They went through something similar about every three or four months. He’d give her time to simmer down, call and sweet-talk her into seeing him again. Then, after spending several weeks of being real cozy with her, he could feel himself start to get in a little deeper than he intended. That’s when he’d cut and run.

He knew it wasn’t fair to Jessie. She was a wonderful woman and deserved better than the likes of him. But where she was concerned, he didn’t seem to have a choice. He simply couldn’t stay away from her.

But this was the first time she’d sought him out and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why, especially not after the way they’d ended things the last time. When they’d parted several months ago, it had been different than before. He’d told her that he thought they should take a break and stop seeing each other for a while. That’s when he had seen a finality in her violet eyes that hadn’t been there before. But she was here now, so it must not have been all that final.

“Jessie, it’s good to see you again,” he said, walking toward her. Dressed in jeans and an oversized pink sweatshirt, she somehow managed to make the baggy fleece look sexy. Real sexy. “It’s been a while, darlin’. How have you been?”

When she turned to face him, she didn’t look all that happy to see him. “Do you have a few minutes?” she asked, her tone serious. “I need to talk to you.”

“Sure.” He couldn’t imagine what she wanted to talk about, but at the moment, he didn’t care. He wasn’t going to tell her, but the truth was, he had missed her—missed the sound of her soft voice and her sweet smile. “Why don’t we go inside and catch up?”

Her long ponytail swayed back and forth as she shook her head. “I won’t be here that long.”

Placing his arm around her slender shoulders, he turned her toward the house. “You didn’t drive all the way from Waco just to turn around and go back,” he said as he ushered her across the patio to the French doors. “I’ll tell my housekeeper you’ll be staying for supper.”

When they entered the family room, she surprised him when she ducked from beneath his arm and turned to face him. “Don’t bother, Nate. I worked the late shift last night and as soon as we talk, I need to get back home and get some sleep.” She was a registered professional nurse he’d met when she had taken care of his brother a couple of years ago after Sam had been injured in a rodeo accident.

“You can always sleep here,” he said, grinning.

If looks could kill, he would have been a dead man in two seconds flat. “You have a housekeeper?” she asked. When he nodded, she frowned as she looked around. “Is there somewhere a little more private where we can talk?”

Nate stared at her. He’d never seen her as determined as she appeared to be at that moment. “Let’s go into my office,” he finally said, motioning toward the arched doorway leading out into the foyer. “We can talk privately in there.”

Guiding her along, he waited until they were seated in his office with the door closed. “What was it you needed to talk to me about?” he asked, looking across the desk at her sitting in the leather armchair in front of him.

She nibbled on her lower lip as she stared down at her tightly clasped hands resting in her lap. “I want you to know that it’s taken me over four months to come to the decision to tell you.” When she looked directly at him, her pretty violet eyes were filled with resignation. “My first inclination was not to bother. But I didn’t think that would be fair to you.”

Nate sat up straight in his desk chair as his scalp started to tingle. He wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but his gut was telling him that whatever she had to say would be life changing. Had she met someone else? Was she telling him that she had committed herself to another man and it wasn’t fair not to tell him? Or was she talking about something else?

“Why don’t you stop beating around the bush and just tell me what you think I need to hear?” he asked.

She took a deep breath and met his questioning gaze head on. “I’m almost five months pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant,” he repeated. His gaze flew to her stomach as her words began to sink in and it felt like the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room. His heart raced and his knees threatened to buckle as he stood up and came around the desk to stand in front of her. “You’re going to have a baby?”

“That’s what pregnant means.”

“How did that happen?” he asked before he could stop himself.

The look she gave him stated louder than words that she had some serious doubts about the level of his intelligence. “If you don’t know about the birds and bees by now, Nate, you never will.”

Taking a deep breath, he shook his head in an effort to clear the ringing in his ears. “You know what I mean.” He rubbed the sudden tension building at the base of his neck. “We were always careful about protection.”

“There could have been a microscopic tear in one of the condoms or some other kind of defect.” She shrugged one slender shoulder. “Whatever happened, I’m pregnant and you’re the daddy. But I don’t want anything from you,” she added hurriedly. “I make more than enough to support myself and the baby, and I’m perfectly capable of raising a child on my own. I just thought it was only fair to let you know about the baby and find out if you want to be part of his or her life. If not, I want you to sign all of your rights over to me and we’ll both be out of your life for good.”

“Like hell,” he said emphatically. “If I have a kid, I’m going to be involved in every aspect of its life.”

She gave him a short nod, then stood up. “That’s all I wanted to know. I’ll have my attorney get in touch with yours. They can work out a fair custody agreement and a suitable visitation schedule.”

“Where are you going?” he asked, reaching out to place his hands on her shoulders to stop her. “You can’t just waltz in here, tell me that you’re having my baby and then leave.”

“Yes, I can,” she said. There was a defiance in her voice that warned him not to argue with her. “If I didn’t have a conscience, I wouldn’t even be here. But I happen to believe that a man has a right to know when he’s fathered a child, even if he’s not dependable. For now, that’s really all you need to know.”

A strong sense of guilt settled across his shoulders. Given their past and the way he’d treated her and their relationship, he should probably be grateful that she had bothered telling him at all. But he couldn’t let her leave without discussing things further. There were things he wanted—needed—to know.

“Jessie, I’m sorry for the way things have been between us in the past,” he said, meaning it. “I take full responsibility for that and if I could go back and change it, I would. Unfortunately, I can’t do that. But from here on out it’s important that we work together.”

She backed away from him. “I told you I won’t keep you from seeing the baby. The lawyers will—”

“Yeah, I got that,” he interrupted. He took a deep breath. “Look, I realize that I’m not exactly your favorite person right now and I can’t say I blame you. But there are things I want to discuss with you and a whole hell of a lot more that we need to decide.”

She stared at him for a moment before she spoke again. “I’m sure this came as a shock. Believe me, I wasn’t expecting it either. But it doesn’t have to be complicated. We can let the lawyers take care of sorting all of this out.”

“Darlin’, I don’t see how this can be anything but complicated,” he said, noticing for the first time how tired she looked. A sudden idea began to take shape as he stared into her pretty violet eyes. “You’re exhausted. Why don’t we table this for the time being?”

“Don’t worry about me,” she said, shrugging. “I’ll be fine as soon as I go home and get some sleep.”

“I don’t like the idea of you driving all the way back to Waco as tired as you are,” he said. “It isn’t safe.”

“I’ll be okay.” She frowned. “Besides, my welfare isn’t any of your concern.”

“Yes, it is,” he insisted. “Do you have to work tonight?”

She shook her head. “I have the weekend off. Why?”

“My family is having a Halloween party here tomorrow night and I’d really like for you to join us. I’ve got five guest bedrooms upstairs and you can have your pick of any of them.” He used his index finger to brush a strand of blond hair that had escaped her ponytail from her smooth cheek as an excuse to touch her. His finger tingled from the contact and he was heartened by the slight widening of her pretty eyes, indicating that she felt it, too. “It will also give us time to talk and make a few decisions after you’ve had time to rest.”

He’d wisely avoided mentioning that she could share the master suite with him. He might not be the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but he wasn’t fool enough to think she would be receptive to picking up their relationship where they left it almost five months ago.

She tried to hide a yawn behind her small, delicate hand. “I told you the law—”

“I know. But don’t you think it would save a lot of time and be easier for all concerned if we had everything worked out in advance?” he asked.

“Nate, I’m really too tired to discuss this right now,” she said, yawning. “All I want is to get home and go to bed.”

“At least take a nap before you start back to Waco,” he stalled. If he could get her to stay for a while, it would give him time to come to grips with the unbelievable fact that he was going to be a daddy. At the moment he was completely numb. But he needed to pull it together so he could think. He had to come up with a better argument for her staying, at least for the party. Now that he knew she was carrying his baby, it was even more important that they work things out. And damned quick.

“Maybe just a short power nap would help,” she conceded.

Without hesitation, he put his arm around her shoulders to guide her out into the foyer and up the stairs. He wasn’t going to give her time to change her mind.

When he walked her down the upstairs hall, Nate opened the door to the bedroom across from his. “Will this room be all right?”

“I’m leaving as soon as I wake up,” she warned.

“Just get some sleep now,” he said, leading her over to the bed. Pulling back the colorful quilt, he waited until she kicked off her tennis shoes and got into bed before he bent down to kiss her forehead. “If you need anything, I’ll be in my office.”

She had already fallen asleep.

Standing beside the bed, he stared down at the only woman he hadn’t been able to stay away from. Jessie was smart, funny and as sweet as she was pretty. So why hadn’t he been able to commit to her?

Nate knew his foster brother Lane Donaldson would probably have a field day using his master’s degree in psychology to analyze Nate’s motives. But Nate didn’t want to delve too deeply into his reasons for avoiding commitments. It all tied into his past and it wasn’t something he could change, nor was he eager to think about that dark time in his life.

The only thing he could do now was what his foster father Hank Calvert would expect of any of the boys he finished raising. Hank had preached to them over and over that when a man makes the decision to sleep with a woman, he’d better be ready to accept his responsibilities if he made her pregnant. And that was just what Nate intended to do.

His aversion to commitment was about to undergo a dramatic change. Jessie had shown up to tell him he was going to be a daddy and he fully intended to do right by her and his kid. Sometime within the next week, he was going to kiss his blissful bachelorhood goodbye and make her his wife.

* * *

When Jessie woke up, bright sunlight peeked through a part in the yellow calico curtains and it took a moment for her to realize where she was.

After working all night in the traumatic brain injury ICU, she had called Nate’s brother Sam to ask where she could find Nate. She hated having to involve Sam in her quest to get hold of Nate, but Nate had moved recently. The last time he had broken things off between them, she had deleted his number from her cell. Sam had been very nice and given her directions to the Twin Oaks Ranch. She supposed she could have asked for Nate’s number and called, but news like hers was something that needed to be delivered in person.

After going to her prenatal checkup, she had driven directly to the ranch to tell Nate he was the father of her baby. In hindsight, she probably should have gotten some sleep before she confronted him with the news. But if she had put it off any longer, she couldn’t be certain she wouldn’t have talked herself out of telling him at all.

For the past few months, she’d been torn over what to do and she still wasn’t certain she had made the right choice in telling him about the baby. For one thing, she was beyond tired of being Nate’s puppet. In the past, he would give her a call and talk her into rekindling their relationship, then when everything seemed to be going great between them, he’d find a reason they should stop seeing each other for a while. And for another, she wasn’t sure he deserved to have equal custody of the baby. How good of a father would he be, given his inclination for coming and going the way he’d done in the past?

The last time he decided to pull his vanishing act, she’d told him not to bother getting in touch with her again. It had broken her heart, but she refused to allow him to control the course of their relationship any longer. Shortly after that she had discovered she was pregnant. And even though she felt it was only right to let a man know he had fathered a child, her main concern was whether or not Nate would always be there for the baby. It was one thing to disappoint her. It was something else entirely if he disappointed their child.

Unsettled by the thought, she threw back the covers to sit up on the side of the bed. That’s when she realized just how exhausted she’d been. She had not only slept the rest of yesterday and last night, she was still fully dressed.

Jessie quickly made the bed and headed downstairs. She had the next two nights off and she needed to get home. There were several things she needed to get done this weekend and she still had an hour’s drive just to get back to Waco.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she sighed heavily when Nate came out of the office. So much for avoiding him on her way out.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he said cheerfully.

Why did the man have to look so darned good to her? She didn’t want to notice how his straight light brown hair stylishly brushed the collar of his chambray shirt or the way his blue eyes twinkled when he smiled at her. She was still angry with him and resented the way he thought he could come and go in her life without a second thought to the effect it had on her—how much it hurt her emotionally.

“You should have awakened me,” she said, noticing the grandfather clock in the foyer indicated it was already midmorning.

“You were tired.” His smile turned to a grin. “Besides, I thought you’d probably want to be fully rested for the party tonight.”

“I’m not attending your party,” she said, stepping down onto the cream-colored marble tile floor of the foyer. “I told you that yesterday.”

He shook his head as he walked over to her. “No, you didn’t.”

“It was implied and you know it,” she stated. “When you insisted that I had to get some sleep before I drove home, I told you I intended to leave as soon as I woke up from a nap. That was a strong indication that I had no intention of attending your family gathering.”

He reached out to lightly run his finger along her jaw, causing her skin to tingle where he touched her. “Now that you’ve had some rest, would you like a cup of coffee or something to eat?” he asked, ignoring her argument against staying for his party. “I don’t know all that much about pregnancy, but when they were expecting, all of my sisters-in-law ate like ranch hands once they got past being sick.”

“I cut out caffeine when I discovered I was pregnant, but a muffin or bagel and a glass of milk would be appreciated,” she answered, knowing just what the women had gone through.

In the early weeks of her pregnancy, just the thought of food was enough to make her sick. But now that the morning sickness had cleared up, it seemed she was hungry all of the time.

“Why don’t you have a seat in my office and I’ll go tell my housekeeper to fix a tray for you,” he said, placing his hand to her back to guide her toward the doorway.

“Why don’t I eat in the kitchen and then just go out the back door to my car when I’m done?” she countered, starting to turn in the opposite direction of the office.

“We have to talk,” he insisted, bringing his arm up to wrap around her shoulders and steer her back toward his office.

“Nate, it would be better to let the lawyers—”

“Do you really want strangers calling the shots on how we go about raising our kid?” he interrupted.

Jessie stared at him as she tried to decide what to do. He had a point about attorneys sitting across a conference table making the important decisions about their child. It really did seem impersonal and detached from the situation. But she had wanted to avoid spending any more time with him than she had to. For the past two and a half years Nate Rafferty had been her biggest weakness and she needed to stay strong in order to resist his charming appeal.

“I only have two nights off and I have things I want to accomplish,” she hedged. She had intended to start cleaning out the second bedroom in her apartment to turn it into a nursery.

“This is the future of our baby, Jessie.” The earnest expression on his handsome face made her feel guilty and she found herself nodding in agreement in spite of her need to put distance between them.

Fifteen minutes later, Jessie stared at the small bowl of fresh fruit, a honey-wheat bagel with cream cheese, scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, a glass of orange juice and a tall glass of milk sitting on a tray on the edge of Nate’s desk. “Whose army were you intending to feed?” she asked. “I can’t eat all of this.”

“Rosemary said you needed the protein and fruit as well as the calcium in the milk and vitamin C from the orange juice,” he said, shrugging as he lowered himself into the armchair beside her. “She said it would be good for both you and the baby.”

Jessie’s eyes widened. “You told your housekeeper I’m pregnant?”

He nodded. “She has six kids and fifteen grandkids. They’re all healthy and I figured if anyone would know what your nutritional needs are now that you’re pregnant, she would.”

While she appreciated his thoughtfulness, Jessie wasn’t entirely certain she was comfortable with him telling others about the baby until they had worked out an agreement they could both live with. But she wasn’t going to argue with him about it now. They had bigger issues to settle.

“You said you wanted to work out custody and visitation?” she asked, picking up the fork on the tray to take a bite of the fluffy scrambled eggs.

He shook his head, then took a deep breath as if what he was about to say was extremely difficult for him. “None of that will be necessary once we’re married.”

She stopped with the fork halfway to her mouth. “Excuse me?”

“We’ll do the right thing and get married,” he repeated as if it was the answer to all of their problems.

Her appetite deserting her, Jessie slowly placed the fork full of eggs back on the plate and shook her head. “No, we won’t.”

“Sure we will,” he said, reaching to take her hand in his. “I’ve already qualified for the National Finals. I’ll skip the rodeo this coming weekend and we can have the wedding here. Or if you prefer, we can fly to Vegas and have a reception for family and friends at a later date.”

Jerking her hand from his, she stood up to pace the length of the room. “Have you lost your ever-loving mind? I’m not going to marry you.”

He rose to his feet and, walking over to her, placed his hands on her shoulders to stare down at her from his much taller height. “I didn’t mean to upset you, darlin’. I’m pretty sure it’s not good for you or the baby.”

“How would you know?” she demanded, glaring up into his incredible blue eyes. “How many times have you been pregnant?”

He gave her a sheepish grin. “This is a first for both of us.”

“Never mind. It doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t get the point, even if I explained it to you.” She shook her head. “I didn’t come here to tell you that I’m having a baby because I wanted you to marry me. I simply thought you should know that you’d fathered a child. Period. If you want to be part of the baby’s life, I won’t try to stop you. But I’m not part of the deal, Nate. We can work something out so that we’re both involved with raising this baby, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be involved with each other.”

He took a deep breath. “I realize that’s what we could do, Jessie. But making you my wife is what I want.”

“No, it’s not, Nate.” She had hoped to hear him say those words for over two years, but she knew better than to believe he really wanted to get married. He’d broken up with her too many times for her to believe any such thing. “You might think that now. But we both know you’ll lose interest within a few weeks and then you’d not only resent me and the baby for trapping you into doing something you didn’t want to do, we’d be facing the heartbreak of a divorce.”

“That’s not going to happen, Jessie. When I make that commitment, it’s for life.” He ran his hand through his thick, straight hair. “I know I’ve let you down before, but—”

“Stop right there,” she said, holding up her hand. “That’s something else we need to get straight right here and now. I’m a big girl and I have no one else to blame but myself for allowing you to come and go in my life the way you’ve done. But the stakes are higher now, Nate. Disappointing me is one thing, but I refuse to allow you to upset our son or daughter. This is our child—my child—we’re discussing and I swear I’ll fight you with everything that’s in me if you don’t grow up and be there when he or she needs you. Being a parent isn’t a game or something you run from whenever you get tired of playing the devoted daddy. It means you’re there twenty-four/seven, no matter how tough it gets. If you can’t handle that, then I’d rather you don’t even bother.”

“Jessie, I give you my word that from now on, you and the baby are my top priority,” he said, sounding sincere. He slid his hands from her shoulders down her arms to catch her hands in his. “I want us to get married and be a family. And I swear I will never cause you another minute of heartache.”

“Then why did you make it sound as if you were going to be accepting responsibility for a crime instead of asking me to marry you?” she asked bluntly. “Did you even listen to yourself?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, looking bewildered.

“No woman wants to enter into a marriage with a man knowing that she was ‘the right thing’ for him to do,” she said, shaking her head. “Besides, you had to take a deep breath before you could even get out that you want to make me your wife.”

He stared at her for several long seconds before he finally spoke again. “Just give us a chance—give me a chance—darlin’. This is all new to me.”

“Nate, I’ve already given you more chances than you deserve,” she said, refusing to believe that this time would be any different than the others. He was only offering marriage because of the baby, not because he loved her and wanted them to build a life together.

“Do you have some vacation time you can take?” he asked suddenly.

“Yes, but I’m saving it for after the baby is born so that I can extend my maternity leave,” she explained, wondering why he wanted to know.

“When is your next doctor’s appointment?” he continued to question her.

“I have an ultrasound scheduled in two weeks,” she answered. “Why are you asking about all of this?”

“I’d like for you to be here for the party tonight, then stay with me for the next couple of weeks,” he said. He paused for a moment as if catching his breath. “Let me prove to you that getting married is what I want.”

“I don’t see how that’s going to work,” she pointed out. “You normally take a few more weeks than that to lose interest. Besides, you had to take a deep breath before you could tell me you wanted to prove how much you want us to get married. That doesn’t instill a lot of confidence for the case you’re trying to make. And all I’m hearing is what you want. Have you even considered what I want?”

He gave her a short nod before he asked, “What do you want, Jessie?”

“I want you to be a good father and love our child,” she said slowly. “That’s more important to me than anything else.”

“I already love the baby and I give you my word that I’ll be the best daddy I can possibly be.”