It’s Sunday afternoon, the day after the charity fundraiser, and I’m sitting with Lishelle and Claudia at our booth in Liaisons. I’m in a pissy mood and need to bitch.
“I mean, what is wrong with a sexual-wellness spa? Does something seedy happen there—something dirty? Because that’s what Charles implied on the way home last night. Worried that he could tarnish his reputation if people found out we went there. Am I completely clueless? Everything I’ve read says that couples go there to reconnect sexually—and what’s wrong with that?”
Lishelle swallows her mouthful of food, then answers. “Nothing. I would think Charles would jump at the chance to go.”
My own plate of scrambled eggs and bacon is mostly untouched. Instead, I’m sucking back mimosas like I didn’t wake up with a hangover. “I’m beginning to think that even if Charles can get it up, he doesn’t want to.”
“Did you bring up the whole impotency thing?” Lishelle asks.
“I tried. Another brush-off.” I can’t help groaning. “What am I supposed to do—live without a man forever just because I’m married to a guy who doesn’t want to make love to me? We got home last night and I hoped, I prayed he would make a decent effort to get it up. But he went right to bed. Leaving me there in a Dolce & Gabbana gown any other man would have wanted to rip off. I’m not sure I can take much more of this. I need to have sex.”
“I understand your frus—”
“No, you don’t,” I say, cutting Claudia off. “I’m so desperate, I’m considering having an affair.”
Claudia and Lishelle exchange a glance before looking at me again.
“I met someone,” I continue. “He came into my studio. And the way he looked at me…I don’t remember ever feeling so sexually charged just from a look. This guy made me remember that I’m a woman. He made me remember all the times I’ve been hit on in my life. Even by some of my clients’ fiancés—you remember the stories. I used to look in the mirror and see a confident and beautiful woman, but somehow, Charles has taken that from me. I want that back.”
“Wow.” Lishelle pushes her plate of pastries to the side. Claudia suddenly stops chewing her bacon.
“After I met this guy, I went home and used a vibrator for the first time, thinking of him through it all, and I had the best orgasm.”
“Aren’t vibrators fucking great?” Lishelle asks. “I’ve been telling you for years to buy one.”
“I thought that would be enough,” I say sadly, “but it wasn’t.”
“So now you want to have sex with him?” Claudia asks, sounding a little shocked.
A beat passes before I answer. “I’m not sure. I thought I wanted that, but then I ripped up his card, so I have no way to contact him. Unless…”
“Unless what?” Lishelle asks.
“He came in with his younger brother and the brother’s fiancée. They said they want to hire me, but they haven’t been back, so who knows?”
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Claudia comments.
“You think I shouldn’t have an affair?”
Claudia holds her forkful of eggs before her mouth. “If you want my honest opinion, no. But I’m about to get married.”
“Yeah,” Lishelle says. “You’re still in that blissful stage. When everything about marriage seems wonderful and perfect.”
“And what about you, Miss Suddenly Engaged to your first love.”
“I’m just saying—I was married, and it wasn’t always wonderful, and the sad reality is that yes, some people have affairs.” Now Lishelle faces me. “I am in no way saying you should have an affair. But then, that’s not my decision to make. If things are rough with Charles and you’ve tried all you can and you need to get some sex on the side…” She shrugs. “I’ll support you, whatever you decide.”
“Wonders never cease,” Claudia mutters.
“Annelise is a grown woman, and we’re not her parents. We’re her friends.”
As Lishelle and Claudia banter back and forth about what’s morally right, my mind drifts to Dominic. I can’t stop thinking about him. Even last night, when I was so pissed with Charles about Arizona, I began comforting myself with thoughts of Dominic. I’ll bet he wouldn’t balk at the idea of going to a sex spa. I’ll bet he couldn’t pack his bags fast enough.
That’s exactly what I imagined last night as Charles lay with his back to me, snoring. I thought of me and Dominic walking into a magnificent room at a resort tucked away in an Arizona desert, with a fire already going in the living room’s fireplace. Of course, there was a bottle of champagne chilling, and excited, Dom took my hand and hurried into the room with me. We both laughed like teenagers. Then he scooped me in his arms and twirled me around, and I clung to him, knowing that within minutes we’d be naked and having the best sex of our lives.
In my dream, once the twirling stopped, Dominic laid a heavy kiss on me, his tongue twisting with mine. I grabbed at his shirt, ripping it in my haste to get it off. Then I went for his jeans, unzipping them and shimmying them down his hips with his briefs. I moaned in delight at the sight of his penis—large and solid and angling to my right.
I took it in my hands, stroked him as I kissed the tip. Stroked him as I added my tongue, tasting the flavor of salt. Then I ran my tongue in circles around the top of his cock.
“Christ, Annie…”
Pressing my fingers into his ass, I took him into my mouth as far as I could. In and out I moved around him the way my pussy would.
Dominic tangled his fingers in my hair. “I can’t take this. I don’t want to come yet.”
He tugged me to my feet and pulled my simple black dress over my head. When he saw I was wearing nothing underneath, not even panties, his eyes roamed over me with heated appreciation. Then he kicked off his jeans and dropped to his knees, giving me not even a moment to catch my breath as he sucked my clit into his mouth and devoured it with his hot tongue.
With Charles beside me, it was too risky to get the vibrator, but I pushed two fingers as far as I could inside my body with one hand, while with the other I massaged my nub until I was panting.
“Oh, Dom…”
I stole a quick glance at Charles, wondering if my moans had wakened him. They hadn’t.
I slipped another finger into my pussy, imagining Dominic pushing his tongue inside me as far as he could go. I imagined gripping his head, staring into his eyes as he twirled his hot tongue over my clit.
And, fuck, I started to come. I had to bite down on my bottom lip to quiet my moans, certain I’d wake Charles.
But Charles never stirred.
“Annelise!” I feel an urgent slap on my hand.
“Huh?” I say, confused for a moment as to where I am. And then I remember. I’m with my friends. In a restaurant. And I’ve just wet my panties remembering my hot fantasy of last night with Greek God, Dominic.
“You look totally flushed,” Claudia says. “Are you all right?”
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Holy shit, I can’t believe I just zoned out like that. Here! And now I have to scramble to remember what we were talking about.
“You do look a little…something,” Lishelle tells me.
I take a huge gulp of my drink. And then I remember. We were discussing the pros and cons of me cheating with Dominic. Of course, I already have—in my mind.
“I’m probably all talk, anyway,” I assure Claudia. I drag a hand over my face in an attempt to regain my composure. I really am flushed. “There’s a big part of me that believes I’ll burn in hell for even thinking I might want to have an affair.”
“Maybe you should try something else, but still drastic,” Claudia counters.
I look at Claudia. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. Like…like going to a swingers’ club or something. That ought to get Charles’s attention.”
“A swingers’ club?” Lishelle jerks her head in Claudia’s direction so fast it’s a wonder her neck doesn’t break. “Where did that come from?”
“Yeah, where did that come from?” I echo, though I remember Claudia telling me about Adam’s craving for weird sex these days.
Claudia gulps her mimosa before speaking. “It was just…I saw something on HBO about swingers’ clubs a while ago. Just an idea. Something different.”
“I have a hard enough time trying to get Charles to have sex with me,” I point out. “I don’t want to watch him get hot and bothered for anyone else.”
“Of course. Forget I even said it.”
“Honestly, it’s not like there’s anything I haven’t tried. I even rented porn in hopes that it would turn him on. He didn’t even stay up to watch it with me.”
“That would get Adam off,” Claudia mutters.
“Do you think he’s having an affair?” Lishelle asks me point blank. “Because when David stopped having sex with me—” Lishelle stops speaking, her eyes narrowing as she turns to Claudia. I look at her, too. She’s quietly crying.
“Okay,” Lishelle says. “What’s going on, babe?”
“I’m being testy and miserable, and it has nothing to do with you, Annie.”
“I’m not mad at you, honey,” I tell her. “Please don’t cry.”
“That’s not it.”
“It’s not about the dresses, is it?” Lishelle asks. “Because if you want violet—”
“It’s not the dresses.” Claudia blows her nose in her napkin.
“I’m starting to worry here, Claudia,” I tell her.
“I did something last night,” Claudia begins quietly. “And I feel so awful. So dirty. But Adam ambushed me with this. He told me how much it would turn him on if I did it.” Claudia squeezes her eyes shut. “Oh, God…”
My heart is racing, that’s how concerned I am for her. “What, hon? What did he make you do?”
Claudia inhales a deep breath, and glances around to make sure no one is within earshot. “After his speech, he took me to some utility room. He wanted to make out, like he always does. And that was fine. He gets off doing it in risqué places. But then…”
“What?” Lishelle asks.
Claudia sniffles. “Then some guy comes in. No, not just some guy—the bartender I told you about who helped us make our own personal drink for our wedding?”
I nod. “Right.”
“Apparently this guy was working the party last night. And Adam arranged for him to meet us in the utility room so we could have a threesome.”
I’m so stunned by Claudia’s words, it’s like there’s no one else in the restaurant. All the noises I’d been aware of moments before—laughter and chatting and a baby crying—it doesn’t exist anymore, I’m so focused on this situation with Claudia.
Lishelle is the first one to speak. “You had sex with a stranger?”
“I didn’t let him…do that. He…he played with me. Fondled me. Ate my pussy in a serious way.”
Lishelle gasps. “Some strange man went down on you?”
“Twice,” Claudia admits shamefully. “The first time, I came quickly. You know—because Adam was touching my nipples. The guy—Jason—said he wanted to do it again, wanted me to really savor it.”
“Holy shit,” Lishelle exclaims.
“Believe me, Lishelle, I’m not proud of myself. It would have been one thing if I wanted to do it, but Adam was pressuring me, and then Jason started touching me…”
I have no clue what to say. The first thing that pops into my mouth is, “Did you enjoy it?”
Claudia’s gaze bounces from Lishelle to me. “Not really, no. Well, I don’t know. I guess…maybe. After he figured out how I liked it. At first he was chomping away on me and I kept telling him to slow down. It was like, ‘Hello, I still need that in the future!’”
“I’m speechless,” I say. “I really am.”
“I didn’t want to enjoy it, but it was a tongue on my clit and he was cute. I thought that the first time I saw him. There’s no doubt I was physically attracted to him, but I don’t go around fucking every guy I’m physically attracted to.”
“Adam was excited?” I ask.
“I’ve never seen Adam so turned on in all my life. Jason’s got his tongue so far inside me, and when I glance at Adam, he’s jerking off.”
Lishelle’s eyes widen in surprise. “Holy. I can’t believe Adam wanted to share you with some other guy.”
Claudia downs the last of her mimosa. “Adam’s sexual appetite lately is out of control. I don’t know what’s going on with him.” She pauses. “Do you guys hate me?”
“Hate you? No,” I assure her. “We don’t hate you, and I certainly can’t judge you. And hey, this is the new millennium. I know there are lots of people out there who swap partners, and they’re happy.”
“But I don’t want that to be me. I told Adam that. I’m not into all that crazy stuff. I just want Adam. Please don’t ask me any details about what I’m about to say, but he took me to a swingers’ club a couple weeks back—shocked me with that, too. And no, we didn’t swap partners. We watched, fooled around…But after last night, I had to put my foot down. Tell him this kind of thing is not okay with me. He swore last night was the last of it, that he wanted to live out some fantasies before we got married and he’s satisfied now.”
“And you believe him?” Lishelle asks.
“I have to. Beside, there’s no way when we’re married that I’m going to be saying okay to anything like this. I’m sick to my stomach admitting any of this to both of you.”
“Maybe he’s freaking over the wedding more than you realized,” Lishelle says. “Some guys see marriage as the end of their sexual freedom. It doesn’t make sense, I know.”
“I give him everything he wants when it comes to sex. Everything. I should be enough, shouldn’t I?”
“Of course you should,” I agree.
“Should is one thing. Reality is another.” Lishelle shakes her head. “Look at how David was screwing around on me. And that was a happy man when it came to our sex life. Sometimes, you just can’t figure men out.”
“And despite being burned, you’re willing to get married again?” I ask.
Lishelle smiles, an ear-to-ear grin. “Fucking right I am. I have no doubts. Glenn’s different, ya know? We go way back. Whether he’s been in my life or not he’s always been in my heart.” She sighs happily. “What can I say—the man’s my soul mate.”
“I’m going to live vicariously through you,” I announce. “You’re totally in love, having great sex—right?”
“The best.”
“It’s a good thing I love you or I’d want to slap you right about now.” I smile sweetly. “You’re just so…happy.”
“That’s what love does to you. And Annie, if you get laid anytime soon, you’ll be smiling like this, as well. It had been two years for me.”
“I know. That’s why I can’t hate you.”
“Well, I can,” Claudia interjects. But a smile is tugging at her lips. “You’re stealing my thunder, girl. It’s my wedding that’s four weeks away.”
Lishelle mimes running a zipper across her lips. “No more about Glenn. For the next four weeks, it’s all about you and all about that fabulous wedding that will be the talk of the town for years to come.”
Finally, the smile reaches Claudia’s eyes.
“And that dress.” Lishelle lets out a low whistle. “I know it’s going to be spectacular.”
“For two hundred thousand, it’s got to be.” Claudia beams. “A one-of-a-kind Vera Wang.”
“Fit for a princess,” I tell her.
“Which she is,” Lishelle adds. “A Black-American Princess.”
“Enough already, guys. Stop.”
“The point is,” Lishelle begins, “you’re going to have a fabulous wedding.”
“I will, won’t I?”
“Of course you will.” I pat Claudia’s hand. “And then you and Adam are going to have a wonderful life, with lots of babies.”
“Ten,” Lishelle interjects.
“Ten!” Claudia exclaims.
“How ever many you want,” I say. “And you’re going to be happy forever and ever. I promise.”
It’s the weekend after the fund-raiser, and Glenn’s here again, just as he promised he’d be. I stretch my neck to glance at the bedside clock beyond his shoulder. 7:14 a.m.
I’m amazed I’m even up, given how much of the night we spent making each other come. When we’re together, we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Glenn asks me.
“After last night, hell if I know.”
Glenn sighs contentedly as he pulls me into his arms. We snuggle front to front. I close my eyes and try to sleep.
But several moments later, I find myself asking, “Are you sure you want to live in Atlanta?” We started discussing this a few hours ago, during a break between lovemaking. He said he had no problem relocating to Atlanta, but I want to be sure.
“All-American Air’s hub is in Atlanta. It’ll be a great move for me. Besides, this is where you’re established. I wouldn’t dream of taking you away from your career.”
I kiss Glenn’s chin. “You’re so sweet. Have I told you that?”
“My goal in life is to make you happy.”
I lift my hand and stare at my engagement ring. “I am happy. I have my career, and now I have my man.”
“I’m really glad you’re doing so well,” he tells me. “You followed your dream and look where you are.”
“You’re following your dream, too. You’re a pilot, Glenn. I never would have dreamed it.”
“Yeah, but I’m working for a smaller airline, and I’m not making the kind of money I’d like. Six figures, but not high-enough six figures.”
“As long as you’re happy—”
“I am.” But he doesn’t sound convincing.
I ease my head back on the pillow to look at him. “What, baby? What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re not happy, are you?” I place a hand on his face. “You never told me what happened to your dream of playing for the NFL. When we broke up, you said there were scouts interested.”
“And I went to training camp for the Cowboys, but I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t make the cut.”
“And you just gave up?”
“Naw, I didn’t give up. My plan was to give it another go the next year, and I would have—if I hadn’t pulled out my shoulder.”
“Glenn, no.”
“Yeah, it was pretty bad for several months. Then it healed pretty much completely—but not good enough to play.”
“Oh, baby.” I stroke his face now, my fingertips moving over the stubble. “I’m so sorry.”
“So am I. But I got over it. And went to L.A. Like every other hopeless fool.” He chuckles. “But while I was there, a friend was taking flying lessons, so I took some, as well. I really did enjoy it. Next thing I know, I’m getting my commercial pilot’s license, and the rest is history.”
“That’s good, isn’t it? If you enjoy what you do? There’s no point dwelling on the past.”
“I’m not dwelling on the past. I guess…”
“What?”
“You want the truth?”
“Of course. You’re going to be my husband.”
“This might sound like a big dream, but I’d like to be my own boss. Instead of flying for someone else, I’d like to run my own charter-airline company.”
“Glenn…”
“I know, it’s crazy, right? The thing is, with some of the contacts I’ve made, I’m beginning to think it’s a possibility.”
“I don’t think it’s crazy. I think it’s fabulous.”
“I would base the company out of Atlanta, so I could be here most of the time. If all goes the way I’d like, I ultimately wouldn’t have to do much flying—except to whisk you off to St. Barts or some other exotic place. And we’d have a lot of money, babe. We could have a second home in the Caymans, or in the south of France…And we’d be together more often than not.”
I have to admit, though I trust Glenn, I’m not keen on him spending many nights away from home. Let’s face it—where there’s an opportunity, there’s a well-meaning guy who’ll fall into some slut’s bed.
“It sounds like a great plan. And I can’t deny I’d like to keep you closer to home.”
“I feel the same way. Especially when our children come along…I’m going to want to be around to see them grow up.”
Our children. The very suggestion fills me with such joy, I can hardly believe all this is really happening. I’ve never admitted this to anyone, but the sight of happy couples with babies tugs at me more and more these days. I’d always hoped to have at least one by thirty, but in the next couple years I won’t be ancient.
“It sounds perfect, Glenn.”
“It would be perfect—if I could afford it.”
“You can get a loan. Banks would be happy to lend money to a guy like you.”
“It would be a lot of money. I don’t know if I can get that kind of loan based on my salary. I could try private investors. Of course, then the company wouldn’t be mine the way I’d like it to be. Unless I had a significant amount to put down.”
“Hmm. I see what you mean.” And damn if I don’t want that second home in the south of France! “Sweetheart, I’ve got a bit of savings.”
“Not a chance.”
“Hear me out.”
“No way. I am not taking money from you.”
“How much would you need?”
“Lishelle—”
I put a hand over Glenn’s mouth to quiet him. “No, seriously. How much would it take to start the business? Tell me,” I urge him when he doesn’t say anything.
“All right. Here’s what I’m thinking. Maybe five, ten million? I don’t know for sure. I could start small, of course. I came up with a business plan—”
“You have a business plan?”
“Uh-huh.”
“So you really are serious about this.”
“I was playing around, running some numbers. But what does it matter, when I don’t have the money? I’d want at least a million of my own cash if I was going to go to investors. Let’s say I get five more people with a million—then I’d at least have a twenty percent share of the company. And who knows—maybe I can get it going for less, like maybe two mil. So if I find a business partner—maybe another pilot—we can start smaller and work our way up.”
“To a Fortune 500 company.”
“Ah. Wouldn’t that be nice.”
“It can happen, Glenn. And I can help you. I make an excellent salary.”
“Lishelle, stop.”
Once again, I cover Glenn’s mouth. “I wouldn’t have enough start-up capital, but I could cosign a loan.”
He forces my hand off his mouth. “You heard what I said, right?”
We stare each other down. I’m the first to give. “Fine. But listen, we’re going to be married. And that means we’ll be a team. The one thing I hated with my ex is that he always thought of his money as his own money, and mine as mine. Of course, that’s because when I married him, I wasn’t making as much as he was. Then I got my big break in TV, and I thought he’d be happy. Instead, he was envious.”
“Do you have to remind me you married someone else?” Glenn asks, but he’s grinning softly.
“This time, I’ll be marrying the right man,” I point out. “But let me finish what I’m saying. We’ll be partners one hundred percent. In the bedroom and out of it. So if you need me to cosign or whatever for this venture—which I think sounds like a fabulous idea—then know that I’m here for you and I’ll do it.”
“Good to know, but I’ll do this on my own.”
“Ugh!” I pinch him. “Why won’t you let me help you?”
“Look, I love you for wanting to help. I really do.”
“Then let me.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Will you?”
“Yes. I do love you, you know that? Because you’re caring.” He lifts my hand to his mouth and gives it a lingering kiss. “And sexy.”
“Ooh, go on.”
“And you have a delicious body that I just can’t get enough of.”
“Is that so?”
He nods. “I especially love it when you’re sitting on my face, and I’ve got my tongue deep inside you, and you just start to come…”
“Mmm.” I writhe my body against his. “We’ll never make it out of bed if you keep talking like that.”
“Who says we have to get out of bed?”
This is the problem with Glenn. The moment he starts to turn me on, I lose all sense of reason. I think I could stay in bed with him and fuck him all day if I didn’t have a life.
“Well, uh…I have to meet Claudia,” I manage to say on a ragged breath, because Glenn’s got my finger in his mouth. He’s nipping and sucking it slowly, just like he loves to do to my clit. “Wedding stuff, you know. Dress fitting…Oh, shit…”
Glenn chuckles victoriously and covers my body with his.
A couple hours later, I’m sitting at a wrought-iron table with Claudia in her parents’ backyard. We’re sipping cranberry juice as we wait for the rest of the bridal party to arrive.
“I still can’t believe you told me 10:00 a.m.,” I whine.
“I totally meant to call you and tell you I’d changed the time to eleven. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Since I’m here early, I have something to ask you. It’s a favor, really.”
“Anything. You know that.”
“I’m wondering if you can talk to your uncle, the one who’s a bank president, about getting me a loan.”
“A loan? Why?”
“I’m trying to raise some capital for a business venture.”
“What kind of venture?”
“Glenn. He’s got this dream. He wants to open a charter-airline company—can you believe it—and I want to help him.”
“Whoa.” Claudia lifts her dark, designer sunglasses to look me in the eye. “You want to get a loan for a business Glenn wants to start?”
“Yes. We were discussing all the possibilities earlier today, and I think it’s—”
“It’s something you want to think long and carefully about. I know you love him.”
“And that’s why I want to do this for him. All he needs is a million. That’s enough to attract other investors, or even get a business loan from a bank. And hey—” I reach for and squeeze Claudia’s hand “—we could fly to the Caribbean anytime we want.”
“You and me?”
“Yeah, sure. And Annelise, of course. Can you imagine it—having a private jet?”
Claudia doesn’t say anything, but her eyes betray what she’s thinking. She’s thinking this is a bad idea.
“Claudia, please. Don’t give me that look. You know how I couldn’t stand it that David never supported my dreams. I don’t want things to be like that with Glenn.”
“I know, but—”
“And you also know I’ve been looking for some kind of business opportunity to invest in for some time now.”
“Yes.”
“Who better to invest in than my future husband?”
“Well—”
“Do not be the voice of negativity here. I know what I’m doing. Will you help me or not?”
Claudia lowers her shades and looks away. I almost want to smack her. After all, she’s not my mother. And I’m not asking her for money.
“You’re my friend,” I tell her.
“And friends support each other. I know.” She faces me again. “You know I’d do anything for you, even if I think you’re making a mistake.”
“So you’ll help me?”
“I’ll call you later with my uncle’s number. He’ll take care of you.”
“I love you, girl.” I feel guilty now for having wanted to smack her. It’s just that she can be so stubborn at times. “And please don’t worry. This will work out. I have a feeling about this. I know it will be great.”
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.