Kitabı oxu: «A Baby by Christmas»
“It’s our first Christmas together.”
“Our first Christmas,” Elise repeated as they touched their glasses together. They sat for a while, just enjoying the moment and this quiet time together, but Elise had to tell Jake how she felt or she thought she’d burst.
“I saw the cradle,” she said quietly. “It’s beautiful. I can’t believe you ordered it.”
He swirled the wine in his glass and leaned back on his elbow. “I didn’t.”
“Sure you did. I saw it.”
“I made the cradle.”
“What?”
“I made the cradle,” he repeated.
“Oh, Jake, why?”
“Because I wanted a baby, too.”
Silence followed his words and Elise knew he wasn’t telling her his true feelings. “There’s another reason, isn’t there?”
The words were in his throat, but he couldn’t force them out. He’d waited for this moment forever, but fear kept him silent, kept him prisoner, kept him chained to the past. He found it hard to express something he felt so intensely, especially since his ghost was always there.
Elise took a breath. “Say it, Jake.”
Dear Reader,
A Baby by Christmas is the story of a couple, Jake and Elise McCain, who get married for the wrong reason—to have a baby. Their plans begin to unravel when they discover Jake already has a child by another woman. The book is about how two people struggle with this situation, how they learn to cope and, most important, how they find love. It’s also about a special little boy named Ben who changes their lives.
This book is a little different than my others, but I hope you will enjoy it no less. May the Christmas season embrace you and your families as you journey with Jake and Elise to find the true meaning of love.
Happy holidays,
Linda Warren
You can reach me at LW1508@aol.com, superauthors.com, or visit my Web site www.lindawarren.net, or you can write me at P.O. Box 5182, Bryan, TX 77805. Your letter will always be answered.
A Baby by Christmas
Linda Warren
MILLS & BOON
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DEDICATION
This book is about a special little boy, so I dedicate it to the special little boys (the great ones) in my life:
John Fuller, Matt Fuller, Jake Fuller, Josh Rychlik, Tyler Phillips, Layne Tharp, Scott Patranella and Taylor Siegert.
And to Ty Siegert, a special nephew, who never fails to ask about my books.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
EPILOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
A BABY. A BABY. A BABY.
The words resounded in Jake McCain’s head as he entered the house. He stopped and took a deep breath. Damn, he hated this. It ruined his whole workday. Then why was he here? Because he didn’t hate it. It was just so…hell, he couldn’t explain it to himself. Elise had called and he’d come running. Ever since he’d met her he seemed to be jumping through hoops. At times it irked him, like today; at others he found it quite enjoyable. That was the problem with their relationship, their marriage—he never knew what the hell was going to happen next. But he’d signed on for better or worse…and a baby.
“Jake, is that you?”
“Yes,” he shouted from the kitchen.
“I’m in the bedroom.”
Where else would she be? he thought with resignation. He made his way to the living room and paused for a moment. The room was completely white with touches of silver and mauve. There wasn’t a comfortable chair anywhere, and after a long day he needed a place to relax other than the bedroom. Everything in there was white, too, but he had ways of blocking it out. Why he’d let Elise convince him to live here he had no idea. She could make him do the impossible, though, even live in the city among these houses all crowded together. He was beginning to think she had him under a spell, because he wasn’t acting like himself.
He needed to tell her how he felt.
ELISE WEBER MCCAIN SLIPPED out of her suit and under-clothes and reached for a silk robe. She didn’t bother with a gown. She didn’t need one—all she needed was Jake and his sperm. They’d been married for six months and they were trying for a baby. That was the reason they’d gotten married; they were two people who wanted the same thing—a child.
At thirty-five, Elise had been certain she’d never fall in love again. Ten years ago, after a year of marriage, she’d lost the love of her life, Derek Weber, in a plane crash. Heartbroken, she sank into depression, then eventually picked herself up and went back to school and got her Ph.D. Now she was a professor of American literature and had the respect of her peers. In her professional life everything was perfect, but her personal life had been nonexistent—until she met Jake.
It had happened unexpectedly. She was traveling home to Waco, Texas, from a lecture at Rice University when she got a flat tire between Marlin and Waco. It was almost dark and she was in the middle of nowhere. She’d taken out her cell phone to call for assistance when a truck pulled up. She was nervous about a stranger stopping to help her, but as soon as the man, who was tall with strong, chiseled features, introduced himself, her fears vanished. She was acquainted with Jake’s mother and his brothers and stepfather. They belonged to the same country club as Elise and her family, and Elise had heard of Jake’s estrangement from his mother. Althea had left her husband for another man; her ten-year-old son, Jake, wouldn’t go with her, so he’d stayed with his father. After that, Althea had had little contact with Jake and Elise knew that troubled her a great deal. She’d heard Althea talk about him for years and it was an odd twist of fate that he’d stopped to help her…or maybe it was meant to be.
Elise didn’t find Jake’s brothers as interesting as Jake. He was kind, honest, forthright. Not that his brothers weren’t, but with Jake it was different. She couldn’t explain it. She was only aware that she felt drawn to him in a way she hadn’t experienced in a long time.
When she’d tried to pay him for fixing her flat, he’d refused. The next week she’d phoned and invited him to dinner as a thank you. Why she’d done that, she had no idea. Asking a man out was so unlike her, but she’d wanted him to know how much she’d appreciated his kindness. To her delight, he accepted.
Her mother and sister were appalled at her actions. They’d told her Jake McCain wasn’t their kind and that Althea’s other sons were more suitable. She’d ignored them. Her mother and sister were snobs and she’d struggled with their attitudes all her life.
Elise had enjoyed that first date. They’d discussed all kinds of things and Elise learned a lot about Jake McCain. He ran the McCain farm, which extended along the Brazos River Bottom from parts of Highbank and Marlin to Waco, and raised cotton and corn like his father, who expected Jake to follow in his footsteps. He’d added that he’d farmed all his life.
When she’d told him she knew his brothers, Beau and Caleb, he wasn’t surprised, but he was quick to remind her that Caleb was his half brother and he’d never met him. That made her so sad, and even sadder when he wouldn’t talk about his mother. The subject was clearly off limits.
That was one small thing that bothered her about Jake. Everything else she liked. He was easy to be with and he listened with such compassion. He made her feel as if her problems were important, and she’d found herself telling him about her marriage, how much she’d loved her husband and how her whole world had come apart the day he died. She also told him she wanted a baby—she couldn’t believe she’d brought that up. She and Derek had planned a family, but after his death she’d pushed that idea to the back of her mind. As she grew older, though, she found herself thinking once again about having a baby.
Jake surprised her by saying he’d love a child, too. After a few dates and several conversations on the subject, she was asking him to marry her. Just like that, out of the blue, no second thoughts. He was shocked, understandably so. But they both wanted the same thing very badly. Even though they weren’t in love, the arrangement seemed perfect.
When he agreed, she was thrilled. Her mother and sister told her she was losing her mind and obsessed with having a baby. They begged her to take some time, but as usual she’d ignored them and married Jake, anyway. They were married by a justice of the peace and spent their honeymoon at her house—in her bed. Jake was everything she wanted in a lover, in a husband.
She glanced at the full bed with its lacy white comforter and bed skirt. Their first night she’d been so nervous, but she and Jake were very compatible in that area and she’d responded to him in ways that surprised her. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t warm, tantalizing kisses that drove her to a frenzied state. Jake’s touch brought out her sensual, passionate nature, and sometimes it made her angry, because she always believed that part of her belonged to Derek. But she had to admit when she was with Jake, she never thought of Derek. Jake became her main focus…and she was uncertain how she felt about that.
JAKE MOVED TOWARD THE BEDROOM. He had to see her, then he’d forget about his negative feelings. That was the way it was with him: one look at her and nothing else mattered. She folded the comforter, looked up and smiled. She was beautiful with her slim, curved body and patrician features, but it was those soft, inviting blue eyes that always pulled him in. The natural blond hair didn’t hurt, either. His bad mood evaporated.
“Hi.” She continued to smile.
He clenched his jaw and pushed attraction for her aside. He had to talk to her, make her understand that he wasn’t a puppet on a string.
“I’m in the middle of harvesting a cotton crop and that makes it rather difficult to drop everything and hurry over here,” he said in a rush.
She placed the comforter on a chair and tucked her hair back behind her ears. It was medium-length and hung like a bell around her face. “You should’ve said you were busy.”
“Yes, I…should…have.” His words got slower and slower as he glimpsed her body through the opening of her robe. He wanted her. It was that simple, that basic. It had been like that since he’d met her. Regardless of how irritated and frustrated he felt, it still didn’t change the effect she had on him.
She stood in front of him and began to unbutton his shirt. “I’m sorry I interrupted you, but according to my calculations this is the perfect time, and I thought we could spend the afternoon making our dream a reality. Pregnant by Christmas, isn’t that our goal?”
“Elise…” he began, then forgot what he was going to say as she ran her hands across his chest, lightly, provocatively, then tasted the warmth of his skin with her lips. Desire ripped through him and his breathing became labored. She unbuckled his belt, stepped backward and guided him toward the bed. All the words he’d planned to say went right out of his head. Elise, her allure, encompassed every part of him.
He quickly slipped out of his clothes. He’d left his boots in the garage by the door—afraid of getting something dirty. Another thing he was tired of doing—but he never grew tired of this. His arms circled her small waist and he drew her against him, skin against skin, his lips taking hers in an urgent, hungry kiss.
Her soft curves melted into him as he placed her on the bed. His lips and hands found those curves with eagerness and he soared with all the emotions she brought to life in him.
“This is the right day,” she breathed against his lips.
“We’ve been trying for six months, but this has to be our time.”
“Shh,” he said in a ragged tone, his lips trailing to her neck. She liked to talk about getting pregnant when they were making love. He didn’t.
“I should’ve been pregnant by now, Jake. I want to be pregnant.”
“Shh,” he said again, kissing her mouth. That was the only way to keep her from talking and he needed to taste, to feel every nuance of her. His body moved to cover hers and nothing else was said for some time.
Afterward Jake tried to move away, but Elise held him tight. “No, don’t,” she said, her legs and arms like a vise around him. “I read that if a man stays inside longer the sperm has more of a chance.”
Jake groaned and buried his face in her damp neck. That was all she thought about—having a baby—and there was a stack of books on conception by the bed. She was obsessed with the idea, and he couldn’t make her see that they had to let it happen naturally.
After a moment Jake rolled to the side and Elise turned around and placed her legs on the headboard and shoved a pillow beneath her hips.
“What are you doing?” he asked out of curiosity, but he should have known better.
“I also read that if a woman holds her legs in an upward position, it gives the sperm a much better chance of reaching the egg.”
He shook his head and got up, then found his scattered clothes on the floor and began to put them on.
“Jake, please don’t dress. We need to have sex again in a little while. We have to make sure.”
He stopped in the process of buttoning his shirt. Sex. That was what they were having. Love had nothing to do with it. Was that what bothered him? He caught sight of the picture on the nightstand—Derek Weber, Elise’s dead husband. That bothered him even more. Elise didn’t need Jake McCain; any man would have done. He’d just been crazy enough to go along with her wishes. That was the crux of his irritation. He didn’t like being used, but that was the way he’d begun to feel.
“I’m not a machine,” he muttered.
She turned so she could see him. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes.”
“If you have to get back to the farm, we can try tonight.”
God, the woman had a one-track mind, and he wondered if she even saw him as a person. Was he nothing more than a sperm bank?
“Elise…” The doorbell interrupted him. He looked at her. “Are you expecting anyone?”
“No, I…oh, I forgot. A woman phoned earlier. A Ms. Woods. She said she had to speak with you and that she’d be by later.”
“I don’t know any Ms. Woods. Did she say what she wanted?” He couldn’t imagine why anyone would try to reach him at Elise’s. Everyone called him at the farm. He only slept here—and had sex.
“She said that your aunt had given her this number and it was important.”
That explained it. It was probably some minor farm business Aunt Vin didn’t know how to handle. The doorbell rang again as he stuffed his shirt into his jeans. His boots were in the garage so he’d have to answer the door barefoot. He hurried to the foyer.
A woman with short brown hair and light green eyes stood on the doorstep. She held a briefcase in one hand. She was pretty and somewhere in her thirties and Jake didn’t recognize her.
“Jake McCain?” she asked politely.
“Yes,” he answered.
“I’m Carmen Woods.” She held out her hand and he shook it. A salesperson, he guessed. He had to get rid of her so he could talk to Elise.
“May I come in?”
“I’m kind of busy. Could we do this another time?”
“It’s very important.”
“Ms. Woods, I…”
“I’m from the Harris County Children’s Protective Services, Mr. McCain, and it can’t wait.”
Children’s Protective Services. What the hell did they want with him? They had to have the wrong person. He could clear this up easily, he was sure.
He stepped aside and she entered the living area. Elise came out of the bedroom in a white robe and Jake introduced them.
“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting,” Ms. Woods apologized as she took in Elise’s attire.
“That’s okay,” Jake said. “But I believe you have me confused with someone else.”
“I don’t think so, Mr. McCain. Just let me explain.”
“Okay.” Jake still felt she had the wrong man, but he was willing to listen. “Have a seat.”
Elise and Jake sat on the sofa and Ms. Woods took the Queen Anne chair. “I’m glad you’re here, Mrs. McCain. This concerns you, too.” She opened her briefcase and took out some papers.
“Oh” was all Elise said.
“Mr. McCain, do you know a Sherry Carr?”
Jake frowned. “Sherry? Yeah, I met her about, gosh, maybe four years ago. I went to Texas A&M for a program on increasing cotton production and she worked at the hotel where I stayed. We dated, but it didn’t work out. I haven’t seen her since.”
“Then you knew her…very well.”
His frown deepened. “What are you getting at, Ms. Woods?”
“Are you aware that Sherry has a son?”
Jake shook his head. “No, she never mentioned a son.”
She pulled a paper from the ones in her hand. “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but I’ve learned that it’s best just to come out with it. Your name is on his birth certificate.”
“What!” Jake and Elise said simultaneously.
Ms. Woods leaned over and handed him the paper. It was a copy of a birth certificate and there, in black and white, he was listed as the father. Elise moaned softly. Jake wanted to reassure her, but he kept staring at his name, trying to make sense of what he was reading.
“This can’t be true,” he said in a low voice. “I was only with her for a week and we always used protection. And she said she was on the pill. Why she put my name on the birth certificate is beyond me unless…” His eyes narrowed. “Is she trying to extort child support from me?”
“It’s nothing like that, Mr. McCain,” Ms. Woods said firmly.
“Then what is it like, Ms. Wood, because you’d better tell me and fast.”
“Ben’s grandmother passed away two weeks ago. By the way, his name is Benjamin, but everyone calls him Ben. He just turned three.”
Jake had noticed that on the document. Benjamin Jake. Sherry had even named the boy after him. Why would she do that? They had not parted on amicable terms.
“As I was saying, Ben lived with his grandmother. Sherry left him with her mother and she called a couple of times, but no one’s heard from her in years. The authorities have searched, and they can’t find a trace of her. Mrs. Carr was worried because Sherry’s boyfriend was involved with drugs.”
“That’s why I stopped seeing her,” Jake said quietly. “I caught her doing cocaine in the bathroom and that was it for me.”
There was silence for a moment, then Ms. Woods spoke, “Mr. McCain, this little boy is all alone and we’re trying to find his father.”
Jake met her gaze. “I’m not him.”
“Are you positive of that?”
He stared at the brocade drapes and wished he could say with certainty that the boy wasn’t his, but he couldn’t. They’d used protection. Maybe it didn’t work. If it didn’t, then…
“No,” he admitted reluctantly.
Elise moaned again and Jake wanted to tell her it wasn’t true, but he really didn’t know.
“There’s an easy way to find out,” Ms. Woods said.
Through his confusion, Jake breathed one word, “How?”
“A DNA test. It’s a simple blood test and it’ll tell us if you’re Ben’s biological father or not.”
Jake didn’t say anything. This was so unreal, but he felt that if he had a son, surely he’d have some inkling, something…
“Is there a possibility that someone else is the father?” Elise asked into the silence.
“Yes,” Ms. Woods replied. “We know there were two other men she was seeing at the time.”
“Have they taken a DNA test?”
“No, we’re starting with Mr. McCain, but I have appointments set up with the other men as well.”
“I see.”
Ms. Woods’s gaze centered on Jake. “Are you willing to take the test?”
He rubbed his hands together. “Yes,” he replied, knowing this was hurting Elise, but he had to do it to ease his mind.
Ms. Woods reached over and handed him a card. “That’s the name and address of a lab here in Waco. You can have it done first thing in the morning and—” she reached into her purse “—I’ll leave my card in case you have any questions.” She laid it on the table. “I work out of the Houston office, but I’ll be here until tomorrow to finalize the paperwork.”
He fingered the card in his hand. “How long will it take before we have the results?”
“A week or two, maybe more. Depends how busy they are.”
“I see,” he said, studying the card. “I’d like it done as soon as possible.”
Ms. Woods rose to her feet. “I’ll put a rush on it. Maybe that will help. If you’re not the father, I have to keep searching.”
“What…what does he look like?” Jake asked, suddenly needing to know. He felt Elise stiffen beside him.
“Actually, a lot like you. He has brown eyes and hair, and a smile that’ll steal your heart. He’s a well-mannered, adorable little boy. His grandmother raised him well.”
Elise jumped up and ran to the bedroom.
“I’m sorry if I’ve upset her,” Ms. Woods said.
Jake got to his feet. Upset was a mild word for what they were about to go through. He’d never expected this and he damn well didn’t plan it. They had to face it, though. He was hoping they’d face it together, but he wasn’t sure.
“I’ll call when I get the lab results,” Ms. Woods added, and Jake showed her to the door. Earlier he’d been feeling irritated. Now he was stunned and wondering how to explain this to Elise. He’d had sex with another woman, but that was years before he’d met her. If the boy was his, though, it wasn’t going to make a difference. Their marriage, such as it was, would be over. He knew that for a fact.
ELISE PACED BACK AND FORTH in the bedroom, her movements agitated. A child. Jake could have a child—with another woman. No, she was going to have Jake’s baby. She ran her hand over her flat stomach. It could be conceived already—growing inside her. Jake couldn’t possibly have a child. It would ruin everything they’d planned. She’d waited and waited and…
Jake stepped into the room and she swung around to confront him. “He can’t be yours. He can’t,” she cried desperately, not even recognizing her own voice.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure.”
A sob left her throat.
“It wasn’t intentional. I met Sherry years ago.”
“She was a drug addict.” Her words sounded more accusing than she’d intended.
His jaw tightened and he picked up his socks from the floor. “I’m going to the farm. I’ll give you some time to cool off.”
She bit her lip. “You can’t leave. We haven’t talked.”
“Maybe tomorrow.”
“You’re not coming back tonight?”
“No, I need time to think.”
She waved a hand. “So you’re just…leaving?”
“Yes,” he replied woodenly.
“That won’t help.”
He watched her for a second. “As I said, we both need some time right now. You’re upset and I’m in a state of shock. I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret later.”
“Fine,” she snapped, astounded by how much his words hurt her.
He nodded and walked out.
“Jake…Jake…don’t go.” But no one heard her plea. Painful silence echoed through her and she started to cry. The future was so bright and now… She caught sight of Derek’s picture. Derek wouldn’t hurt me like this…never. With Derek’s picture in her hand, she curled up on the bed. More tears followed.
After a while, she wiped her eyes and sat up. What was wrong with her? She was overreacting—dramatically. The boy probably wasn’t even Jake’s and she’d spoken impulsively and selfishly. Now she’d have to spend the night alone. She stared at the photo in her arms. A picture wasn’t much company in the middle of the night and she’d gotten used to having Jake in her bed.
Please don’t let the boy be Jake’s, she prayed.
JAKE SLEPT IN HIS OWN BED for the first time in months, but it wasn’t the same. He kept reaching for Elise. She had a habit of snuggling into him, and then he’d wrap his arms around her. He could almost smell her perfume, her feminine scent. He got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a glass of milk and a banana. He sat at the table in his underwear and took a look around the room. Everything was new and shiny. Mistakenly thinking Elise would want to live here, he’d had the farmhouse completely redone. The house had belonged to his grandfather and had a wraparound porch and lots of mullioned windows for air circulation. But Jake had installed central air and heat years ago. Still, the house retained the ambience of older days. He’d painted it inside and out, put on a new roof and given it a makeover that included new appliances, enlarging the master bedroom and adding its own private bath. There’d been only one bathroom in the house and Jake had also installed a bath in the utility room. He put as much white as he could in the house because Elise liked it, but there was a lot of natural wood, which he kept. The result was very rustic with a modern touch. He’d done everything for Elise.
He ran both hands over his face. They’d gotten married in such a hurry and it had seemed logical to live in Elise’s house because it was close to the university, as Elise had pointed out. Her days were full with teaching, and her summer schedule had already been planned with graduate students—he saw very little of her except at night. Of course, he was occupied harvesting a corn crop and watching over his planted cotton, too. Both their lives were so busy and they’d never talked about where they would eventually live. Was he crazy to think she’d ever come here?
He’d certainly hoped that she would, because all he could see in his future was Elise and he knew he’d fallen…His whole body jerked as the thought ran through him like an electrical shock. In love with her. Love? What the hell did he know about love? Not a thing, he answered himself. He knew that it hurt and he was feeling a lot of that, plus a few other emotions that left a hollow ache in his belly, not to mention his heart. Was this love? How did it happen? And when?
Maybe it was that first time he looked into her blue eyes or when he’d kissed her or made love to her. Made love? Oh, God, he was making love and she was having sex. He recognized the difference. Painfully.
Somehow his feelings had deepened between that first look and the many heated encounters. Now what? He wasn’t familiar with this type of love, but it was a powerful feeling. That was what all the irritation was about. Elise didn’t love him. If she did, she would’ve tried to be supportive about the possibility of his having a son. Instead she was blaming him for an indiscretion he wasn’t even aware he’d committed. A son? He could have a son. The realization threatened to overwhelm him, but he couldn’t dwell on it or the what-ifs. First, he had to have the truth.
He heard a noise and saw Wags, his dog, coming through the doggy door. Wags rested his head on Jake’s thigh and Jake rubbed his ears. Wags was a medium-size, yellowish-brown Labrador retriever mix. Mike, his foreman, had gotten him as a puppy and given him to Jake. Wags wagged his tail constantly, as he was doing now, hence his name.
“Where you been, boy?” Jake asked, continuing to stroke him. “Out chasing rabbits?”
Wags growled.
“What are you gonna do if you ever catch one?” Jake laughed.
Wags barked.
He got up and opened a can of dog food and spooned it into his dish. Wags gobbled up the food, his tail working overtime. “Life is pretty simple for you, isn’t it, boy? No responsibility, no worries, or guilty conscience. Just basic primal needs.”
Jake returned to the table; Wags followed and curled up beside his chair. His thoughts turned to Sherry. She’d been friendly, helpful and outgoing, and he was attracted to her energetic personality. His room at the hotel had a water leak in the bathroom and she’d quickly arranged a move to a suite, even though the hotel was crowded. To make up for his inconvenience, she offered to buy his dinner. He assumed she’d meant the hotel would pay for his dinner, but when he went down, she was sitting at his table. He didn’t mind. She was pretty and good company. Being away from home, he found it pleasant to have someone to talk to.
When they returned to his room, she began to rip off his clothes and he knew she wasn’t the woman he’d thought she was. But he didn’t do much resisting. Later in the week, he found her in the bathroom doing cocaine. He didn’t want anything else to do with her and told her so. She called him a few names and that was the last he’d seen of her. Could she have already been pregnant? They’d used a condom and she’d said she was on the pill, so there was no way she could have gotten pregnant. No way. The little boy had brown eyes and hair and Jake’s name was on his birth certificate. Those facts kept torturing him.
He sighed tiredly. No, he wouldn’t do this to himself. Tomorrow he’d take the blood test and wait. The results would determine the rest of his life—a life with or without Elise.
