Kitabı oxu: «The Lightkeeper's Woman»
“Hating you was pure and simple,”
she whispered. “It was black and white, no room for pain. But I can’t hate you anymore. I don’t want us to be enemies.” Unshed tears burned the back of her throat.
He pulled his hand away from hers and laid it on her shoulder. Through the sweater she could feel the warmth of his skin. “You want me to be your friend?”
“You make it sound so awful!”
He laughed as if he were teetering on insanity. “I can’t wish you good fortune and watch as you marry another.”
“Why not?” Liquid flames shot through her veins, making her dizzy.
“Because my thoughts aren’t the least bit friendly toward you.” His gaze pinned her. “Every time I look at you, I want to strip you down naked and make love to you.”
Acclaim for Mary Burton’s recent books
Rafferty’s Bride
“Ms. Burton has written a romance filled with passion
and compassion, forgiveness and humor; the kind of
well-written story that truly touches the heart because
you can empathize with the characters.”
—Romantic Times
The Perfect Wife
“Mary Burton presents an intricate theme that
questions if security rather than attraction
defines the basis of love.”
—Romantic Times
The Colorado Bride
“A heart-touching romance about love, loss
and the realities of family. In her finely crafted
historical, Mary Burton manages to vibrate some
sensitive and intense modern issues.”
—Romantic Times
“This talented writer is a virtuoso, who strums the hearts
of readers and composes an emotional tale.
I was spellbound.”
—Rendezvous
The Lightkeeper’s Woman
Mary Burton
For Cathy Maxwell and Pamela Gagne,
wonderful critique partners and friends.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Epilogue
Prologue
1882
T here was never enough time.
Alanna Patterson stood before the small open portal of the captain’s cabin. The night wind was warm and the dark sky aglow with an endless blanket of stars. The gentle waters of James River lapped against the side of the schooner Intrepid.
She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. Mossy scents of the docks mingled with the aroma of tobacco bundles and freshly milled lumber. The ship had been loaded this afternoon and was ready for departure tomorrow.
If only this night could last forever.
Strong arms banded around Alanna and wrapped her in warmth. Her hand came up to his powerful arms. “Caleb.”
He nuzzled his cheek next to hers. Thick stubble teased her soft skin. “Come back to bed.”
She tipped her head back against his bare chest. “It’s getting late. I must leave soon so that I can be home before anyone realizes I am gone.”
Caleb inhaled a deep breath. “I don’t want it to end.”
Heat spread through her body as she remembered their lovemaking. “Nor I.”
“I love our nights together but I hate it when you leave.”
“Soon we will be wed and I won’t have to sneak back home at dawn.”
His arms tightened around her. “Stay with me. Come with me on this next voyage.”
The idea tempted but reason overcame it quickly. “I can’t leave Richmond now. And you will be back in six weeks. It’s not such a long time.”
“Six weeks is a lifetime.” He laid his large hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. She stared up into his warm blue eyes so filled with love and tenderness. “Marry me.”
She flattened her hands against his bare muscular chest. His heart beat wildly under her fingertips.
“We are getting married after you return,” she said.
He captured a strand of her silken blond hair between his fingers. “The ceremony is not for three more months. I want to marry you now.”
She smiled. “It’s the middle of the night.”
“There’s a church not four blocks from here. I’ll wake the minister.”
The idea made her giddy. She traced the cleft in his chin with her fingertip. “We can’t wake the minister, Caleb. It wouldn’t be right.”
His gaze darkened. “Why not? I’ll make a large donation to the church to make it worth his while.”
She sensed an edge of desperation in him that she’d never felt before. “My father wants to give us a grand wedding as a peace gesture. It’s his way of giving us his blessing. And my mother would have wanted the best for me if she were alive. I don’t want to disappoint him.”
“We’ll marry again before everyone if that’s what you want, but tonight I want to marry you.”
She took his hands in hers. His calluses rubbed against her smooth palms. “Why the sudden change?”
He shoved out a sigh. “Call it a bad feeling.”
She traced his firm jaw with her fingertip. Seamen put a good deal of stock in omens and gut feelings. Even Caleb, as logical as he could be, wasn’t immune to superstition. “There’s nothing to worry about. Father has given his blessing. There’s nothing to keep us apart anymore.”
“I want the world to know you are mine. I love you more than anything. If I were to lose you, I’d go mad.”
She squeezed his hand. He wielded great strength in his body, yet he allowed her to see the vulnerability in his heart. “I don’t need a minister’s vows to seal my love for you. I will be waiting for you when you sail back into the harbor six weeks from now. I am yours. I will love and honor you, Caleb Pitt. Forever and always.”
“Forever and always.” He dropped his gaze to their hands clasped together. He kissed her fingers. “Say it again.”
“I will love you forever and always, Caleb. I am yours to the end of time.”
“And I love you, Alanna. For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. Until death us do part.”
Tears filled her eyes as she stared up into the face of the man she loved. “Nothing will ever tear us apart.”
Chapter One
Two years later
T he coachman set the brake and shouted, “Easton, North Carolina.”
Alanna Patterson pushed back the stained coach curtain and stared at the meager collection of gray-black buildings made of sunbaked wood. The town’s main thoroughfare was little more than a path etched into the sandy mud by wagon wheels. The few fishermen and women standing alongside the street looked as tired and broken as the buildings. As if they too had weathered too many winter storms and too many hot, humid summers.
Why in God’s name would Caleb have chosen such a place to call home now?
Alanna had last seen Caleb on the deck of the Intrepid, his ship, as it headed out to sea. She’d been so proud of him. His blue sea captain’s jacket had been tailored perfectly to fit his tall frame and broad shoulders. His pants molded his muscular legs braced against the sway of the ship. He’d been smiling, waving toward her as he’d tried to shout her a few final words. The wind had drowned out his baritone voice, but she’d not worried. She’d gifted him with a vibrant smile and waved. She’d been so confident that their charmed future would be filled with many loving words that a few lost ones wouldn’t matter.
What a fool she’d been.
Unsettled, Alanna gathered her velvet skirts as the coachman opened the door. The tall, gaunt man took her elbow as she climbed down. Her soft gray leather boots sank into the mud up to the laces.
“My shoe!” Alanna said. “Couldn’t you have at least put down a plank?”
The coachman’s gap-tooth grated her nerves. “Everybody knows fancy duds don’t last in Easton.”
Alanna pulled her foot from the sucking mud. The shoe’s pale leather would forever be stained brown. “In your line of work as a coachman I would think you’d see many people who aren’t from Easton. And that you’d take the time to tell them about the streets.”
He shrugged as he took her bag from the coach. “Strangers don’t come to Easton unless they’s shipwrecked. Most folks who’ve been pulled from the sea is so happy to be alive they don’t care so much about their shoes.”
Most probably hadn’t paid as much for their shoes as she had hers.
Alanna reached for her bag. “Thank you for your help,” she said tersely. “But I can manage from here.”
He tugged the bag and brought her a step closer to him. This close, Alanna could see dirt coating his pockmarked face. She could smell the hint of cheap gin and stale fish on his worn clothes. “I notice there ain’t no one here to meet you.”
She remembered how hastily she’d packed her satchel. “My arrival is a bit of a surprise.”
The coachman’s lips twisted into a grin. “That so? I’d be happy to help in any way I can. Name’s Roy Smoots.”
Alanna didn’t miss the implied proposition woven between Smoots’s words. Another time, an other place she’d have reminded him of his place. But, as he’d said, she was alone. “No, thank you.”
She yanked her bag free, stumbling back in the slippery mud a step before she caught herself, her derby-style hat slipping over her right ear.
He laughed. “Sure I can’t help?”
Righting her hat, she said, “Just tell me where I can find Rosie’s Tavern.”
The coachman didn’t look offended, but more amused. “A half a block down the street. I’d be happy to show you.”
“Don’t trouble yourself, Mr. Smoots.” Alanna stepped through the thick mud, cursing her ruined shoes.
Mr. Smoots fell in step beside her. “No trouble at all.” Ignoring him as best she could, she stepped onto the boardwalk and stamped the mud from her shoes before she started down the sun-baked planks. Her bag thumped into her heavy skirts with each step.
The tavern was a two-story building marked by a faded wooden sign with black scripted letters that spelled Rosie’s below a faded red rose. The sign and building looked just as weary as the rest of town.
Alanna reached for the rusted handle. “Mr. Smoots, when does the next coach leave Easton?”
Mr. Smoots’s grin widened. “I leave at first light.”
“Book a seat for me. I’m leaving this town as quickly as I can.”
“Sure thing, miss.” He cackled. “So what you doing tonight?”
Alanna ignored the question as she shoved open the tavern door. She paused, letting her eyes adjust to the dim light. Sea spray and grime clouded the inn’s small windows and blocked out the noonday sunshine. Around the room, two dozen fishermen stared at her over their tankards. Most had full beards and skin as weathered as the boardwalk.
The seamen’s whispers buzzed around Alanna’s head and their gazes darkened with a dangerous hunger. Her palms began to sweat in her kid gloves and for the first time she realized just how truly alone she was.
These were the kind of men Caleb had sailed with. Though he’d respected his men as sailors, he’d always been careful to keep them away from Alanna. And now she understood why.
Mr. Smoots circled his fingertip on her shoulder. “Sure you don’t want ol’ Roy’s help?”
Alanna flinched and pulled away. “No, thank you.”
He leaned so close that she could feel his hot breath on her ear when he spoke. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Mr. Smoots brushed past her, knocking her shoulder with his as he moved toward a table in a darkened corner where three other sailors sat. He said something to the men and they all laughed as they stared at Alanna.
Alanna could feel her courage slipping. When she’d received Caleb’s terse message days ago the urge to right old wrongs had burned hot. Time and fear had cooled the fire in her.
The barkeep, a burly man with a belly that hung over his belt, looked up from the glass of gin he was pouring. Surprise flickered as the barman set down the bottle and moved from behind the bar toward her.
Lantern light flickered on the white strands of the barman’s red beard and a gold loop hung from his left ear, winking in the lantern light. His crooked nose looked as if it had been broken more than once. He grinned as he wiped his hands on his soiled apron. “Name’s Sloan. Can I help you?”
Alanna’s mouth felt as dry as cotton as Sloan’s gaze slid up and down her body. Her fingers clamped tighter around the handle of her valise. “I’m looking for Captain Pitt,” she said in a soft voice.
All traces of humor vanished from Sloan’s face. “Who’d you say?”
Just speaking Caleb’s name left her edgy and restless. “Caleb Pitt,” she said in a louder voice. “Do you know where I can find him?”
The tavern room went deadly quiet and the men who’d been staring at her looked away.
Sloan’s eyes narrowed. The innkeeper studied her and she had the sense that she was being tried and judged. She wondered briefly if Caleb had told him about her. The old Caleb was a man who’d always kept his own counsel, but the new Caleb was a stranger to her.
“He ain’t in town,” Mr. Sloan said.
The tension that had been knotting her muscles frizzled into anger. “I thought he lived here in town. He listed Easton as his address.”
“He lives here sometimes, but he ain’t here now.”
“Then where can I find him?”
Mr. Sloan nodded toward the front door. “It’s best you leave.”
Alanna couldn’t go back to Richmond, not when she was so close to settling matters once and for all. “I’ve traveled too far to turn back.”
The innkeeper started back toward the bar. “Cut your losses. Leave.”
Alanna lifted her chin up. “I’m sure someone will tell me where I can find the captain if I wait long enough. I am willing to pay,” she said a little louder.
Alanna looked around the smoky room. Slowly, the men started to talk among themselves, and she had the distinct impression she was their topic of conversation. A minnow among sharks, she thought vaguely as she tapped her foot and counted the seconds until she could leave.
She moved into the room, aware that Mr. Sloan watched her as she walked toward a chair at an unoccupied corner table. Sloan hurried across the room. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Sitting down.” She nodded toward a wobbly chair. “Aren’t you going to pull back my chair for me?”
At first Sloan stared at her. Then, sighing, he yanked the chair out from under the table. “Rest your bones a few minutes, and then I want you gone.”
Alanna gifted him with her best smile and sat down, her back to the wall. She took a moment to adjust the rich folds of her velvet skirts.
Bracing a hand on the back of her chair, he leaned forward and said in a low voice. “I know who you are and I can tell you that the captain don’t want anything to do with you. Do yourself a favor and leave the past buried.”
Heat burned her cheeks and stomach. How many times had she prayed the past would just go away? But each time happiness was within her grasp, bitterness and anger spawned by a thousand unanswered questions swept it away.
Unshed tears burned her throat. “I’ve no choice in the matter. I must find Captain Pitt.”
Mr. Sloan shook his head as he straightened. “Too bad.”
Alanna almost laughed at the irony. For two years she’d avoided the idea of facing Caleb. Now when he was so close, she met one roadblock after another, almost as if the fates didn’t want her to see him.
She folded her hands in her lap. “I’m not leaving until I see him.”
The innkeeper shook his head. “It don’t work that way here, missy. You tell me what you want, then I’ll decide if I talk.”
Sighing, she realized she’d have to give Sloan a little information. “My father passed on recently. He left the captain a package, and I’m here to deliver it to him.”
“What kind of package?”
Alanna pulled a small teak box from her cape pocket and set it on the table. It measured six inches by six and was fastened tightly with a polished brass lock. It was the same box her attorney had mailed to Caleb, the same box he’d returned. “This kind.”
A bit of the wariness faded from Sloan’s sharp gaze as he stared at the box. “Give your parcel to me. I’ll run it out to the island the next time I take the captain’s supplies.”
Alanna remembered Caleb’s terse response to her letter. I want nothing from you or your father. We are finished. The fire that had driven her hundreds of miles from home burned anew. “I intend to deliver it to him myself.”
The creases in his leathery face deepened as his eyes narrowed. “Ain’t this desire of yours to see him a little late?”
So, Caleb had told Sloan who she was. Defensive, Alanna raised her chin. “There are things you don’t know.”
Mr. Sloan shook his head as he appraised her. “You’re trouble.”
“If you think your unwillingness to help will chase me away, you are very wrong. One way or the other, Mr. Sloan, I’m going to see the captain.”
“Suit yourself, but you’ll get no help from me or anyone else in this village.” He turned and walked away.
Alanna rose, her napkin clutched in her hand. “Mr. Sloan!”
“You won’t find anyone to take you.”
“I’ve no intention of causing trouble for the captain.”
He waved away her words.
Frustrated, she glanced toward the bar where five seamen openly stared at her. In a voice loud enough for all to hear, she said, “I need someone to take me to the barrier. And I’m willing to pay.”
Realizing she’d addressed them, the sailors dropped their gazes into their tankards.
“None of them will do it,” Sloan said from behind the bar.
“I just want to give him this box, then I will leave him in peace.”
“Leave the captain alone,” a sailor shouted.
“Aye, he’s a fine man who don’t need the likes of you messing up his life,” another sailor said.
She stared at the roomful of grim faces. “I mean him no harm.”
“Go away,” several sailors shouted. Shocked by their anger she turned to Sloan. “I just want to give him this box.”
Sloan shook his head. “Since the captain’s been manning the lighthouse, he’s saved a lot of lives. Everyone in this town can claim a friend or relative who’s been rescued by the captain. That’s all anyone in Easton cares about. I can tell you now no one will take you to the captain.”
She opened her mouth, ready to argue, when she caught sight of a seaman moving away from the bar toward her.
The man was a weather-beaten old salt who wore loose-fitting pants, a stained shirt and pea jacket that smelled of fish. He’d tied his long gray hair at the nape of his neck with a piece of frayed rope and sported a bristly beard that reached halfway down his chest. “You really looking to go to the outer banks?”
Alanna hesitated. Rougher than Mr. Smoots, the man looked like a pirate and likely had the morals of one. She wouldn’t have considered his offer if she weren’t in such a hurry to return to Richmond. “Yes.”
Sloan’s scowl darkened. “Get back to the hole you crawled out of, Crowley. The lady don’t need your help.”
Alanna bristled. “Don’t listen to Mr. Sloan. I do need to book passage to Barrier Island.”
The seaman set his half-full tankard of ale on her table and sat down. “Let’s talk then.”
Sloan cursed. “Don’t be a fool, lady. This ain’t the kind of man you want to deal with.”
Alanna took her seat. “Thank you, Mr. Sloan, but I can take care of myself. You may go now.”
Sloan stared at her. “You is as hardheaded as Caleb says. Fine, go with Crowley. You two deserve each other.”
Alanna’s heart pinched. Caleb had said she was hardheaded? She wanted to ask Mr. Sloan what Caleb had said about her, but pride wouldn’t allow it. Working the tightness from her throat, she shifted her gaze to Mr. Crowley. “Can you take me to the outer banks, Mr….”
The old man stared at her as he sipped his ale. “Ain’t no Mister. Just Crowley.”
“Alanna Patterson.” She was grateful her voice sounded steady.
“I’ll take you across the sound, if you’re paying.”
Alanna tightened her hand around her reticule next to her plate. “I’m offering two bits.”
Foam from his ale clung to his mustache and beard. “Make it five dollars.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Five dollars! I don’t have that kind of money!”
Crowley eyed her rich cape trimmed with a thick brocade border. “Fine. Find someone else.” He started to rise.
Alanna knew he was likely her last chance to see Caleb again. Clearly no one else in town was offering help and soon she’d be married and there’d be no going back. She dug out a rumpled bill from her purse. “I’ll pay you one dollar.”
Crowley paused. “I can’t hear you.”
Fearful others would hear she carried cash, she lowered her voice. “All right, two dollars. But it’s all I have left.”
He sat back down. “Done.”
Alanna pushed the dollar across the sticky table toward him. “I’ll give you the second dollar when we return.”
She thought he might balk at the condition as he took the bill and sniffed it. Satisfied it wasn’t counterfeit, he tucked it in his pants pocket. “Deal. My boat’s called the Sea Witch. She’s moored on the docks alongside the other boats. Meet me there in the morning.”
“I can’t wait that long. I must return to Virginia tomorrow.” Tension crept up Alanna’s spine, goading her to explain. “I have appointments I must keep.”
In truth, Henry had forbidden her to talk about Caleb. If she weren’t back by Friday when Henry returned from his trip to New York, he would realize where she’d gone and follow. He’d be furious.
Crowley shrugged. “Meet me at the docks in thirty minutes.”
“I’ll be there.” After Crowley strode out of the tavern, Alanna wrapped the box in oilcloth and shoved it in a side pocket of her cape. She closed the flap to the pocket and fastened the single button closed.
Soon, she’d be standing face-to-face with Caleb. Her stomach churning, she consoled herself with the idea that this time tomorrow it would all be over.
“You ain’t planning on sailing with Crowley, is you?” Sloan’s sharp voice made her head snap up.
Alanna bristled at his tone. “As I said before, it’s none of your business.”
A hint of worry deepened the lines around Sloan’s eyes. “Even a woman like you don’t deserve the likes of Crowley.”
Pride had her digging in her heels. Since her father’s suicide a year ago, she’d grown accustomed to taking care of herself. She’d faced down creditors, seen precious heirlooms sold and watched her world crumble. “Thank you for your advice. But I can take care of myself.”
“Go home where you belong.”
Unsettled, a part of her wanted to explain this journey was the hardest she’d ever undertaken. She’d lost weight, not slept well in weeks. She simply wanted to be free of the past and memories of Caleb once and for all.
But she didn’t say any of those things. Sloan was right. She didn’t belong here. And the sooner she completed her task, the better. “I’ve come too far to turn back now.”
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