Kitabı oxu: «The Cowboy's Family Plan»

Chapter One

As Alex Connor reached the door of the community education room at the Brighton Valley Wellness Center, a shudder of apprehension shot through him, and he froze momentarily.

Once he stepped inside, he was going to feel as out of place as a circus clown on a wild bronc, but he wasn’t going to wallow in it. He owed it to Mary, his late wife, to learn all he could about surrogacy. So he shook off his uneasiness, swallowed his pride and entered the classroom, his limp a bit more pronounced than it had been when he woke up this morning.

The room wasn’t full, although there were plenty of people already seated, most of them couples, whose expressions ran the gamut from hopeful to uneasy to I’d-rather-be-anywhere-but-here-tonight. And Alex knew how every one of them felt, especially the ones who looked as if it wouldn’t take much for them to bolt.

A few of those in attendance were women on their own, with no husband or partner in sight. Alex did his best not to look at them, not to think about Mary, who’d had to research in vitro fertilization on her own four years ago.

Now here he was, learning what he should have learned with her back then.

Alex wasn’t the only man in the room this evening, but he was the only one who’d arrived by himself. Shaking off his uneasiness, he chose a seat in the front row and placed his Stetson on the empty chair next to him. Then he waited for the class to begin.

It had been nearly three years since he’d lost Mary, along with the baby she carried. And now that he’d dealt with the grief, he was determined to do everything he could to make sure his and Mary’s remaining two babies, just frozen embryos now, had a chance to live. Unfortunately, Mary had been the one who’d had any real understanding of the whole in vitro process. She’d merely showed him the papers he needed to sign and told him how much to pay, where to be and what to do. So he found himself at a bit of a loss now—and a bit guilty at not being more involved during the whole clinical part of the process.

He would have made an appointment to talk to Dr. Avery, Mary’s obstetrician, if the guy hadn’t retired a while back and sold his practice to a Dr. Ramirez.

Alex had planned to talk to the new doctor, but as luck would have it, the guy was giving a series of three lectures on fertility options on Tuesday nights.

Luck, huh? Alex might have been fortunate to chance upon that flyer, but his reason for being at the wellness center in the first place had been the result of a preventable accident and an order for physical therapy.

Nearly six months ago, he’d walked behind his prize stallion, Blazing Thunder, and gotten kicked, which had been a dumb move on his part. As a result, he’d suffered a broken kneecap, which had sidelined him for months. He’d needed orthopedic surgery, and after the bones had healed, he’d been sent to physical therapy.

Last week, while working with Maria, his therapist at the wellness center, he’d spotted that poster. Because one of the topics dealt with finding and hiring a surrogate, he’d signed up to take the classes, which were being taught by none other than Dr. Ramirez.

So call it luck or fate or chance, here he was.

He’d planned to sit through this first lecture, then afterward, catch the doctor alone and pick his brain.

Mary had thought the world of Dr. Avery. Alex just hoped that Dr. Ramirez, whoever he was, would be just as competent.

So what was keeping him?

Alex glanced at his wristwatch, noting it was almost seven. The doctor ought to be here by now.

Moments later, he heard the sound of the door swinging open at the back of the room.

Footsteps clicked upon the tile floor, drawing closer.

Alex turned and glanced to the right, just as an attractive brunette wearing a white lab coat over a green dress strode toward the lectern.

Alex wasn’t sure why he’d assumed that the obstetrician would be a man. It’s not as though he had any qualms about a female physician; it’s just that this one appeared to be too...young...too petite...too attractive.

But she certainly had an air of confidence about her.

He slowly turned to the front and waited for her to step behind the podium.

As she did so, she offered the audience a pretty yet professional smile and said, “Good evening, everyone. I’m Dr. Ramirez.”

Her voice held a slight Spanish accent, although just barely, and he listened as she began covering the basic causes of infertility. Alex wasn’t all that interested in that particular topic, though. And as he tried to focus on what she had to say, he couldn’t seem to think about anything other than the fact that none of his doctors had ever looked like her. And was he ever grateful for that.

If the lovely Dr. Ramirez would have walked into an exam room while he’d been seated on the table, she would have had to treat him for an excessive heart rate and high blood pressure.

For that reason, he’d better rein in his thoughts and listen to what she was saying.

While he did his best to concentrate on her words, he was struck by her mannerisms: the way she cocked her head slightly to the side, the way she gripped the side of the lectern and leaned forward to make a point, the way she lifted her left hand—which wasn’t wearing a ring.

Several times during the talk, he could have sworn he’d caught her looking right at him, her cheeks slightly flushed. And when she turned away to scan the audience, she cleared her throat and took a moment to skim over her notes.

Maybe public speaking made her nervous.

Or maybe she found a lone male sitting in the front row to be a little unnerving.

On the other hand, it might have been something about Alex that had caught her eye.

Nah, it couldn’t be that. He’d probably just imagined her interest in him. Sleeping solo in a king-size bed for the past three years did crazy things to a man, he supposed, made him think that it was time to start looking for another woman to share his life once again.

And right now, that’s the last thing Alex needed to think about. He had a surrogate to hire. Then, God willing, both remaining embryos would be implanted and he’d have two babies to raise.

As the audience broke into applause, Alex clapped, too, realizing the lecture was over and that he’d missed almost everything Dr. Ramirez said.

When she asked if there were any questions, he kept his arms crossed over his chest and let the others raise their hands instead. He had plenty of questions, of course, but most of them had to do with surrogacy, which she was supposed to discuss during the last class.

Finally, his classmates began to file out of the room, providing him with the opportunity he’d wanted—to quiz the doctor in private.

So he remained in his seat, while she gathered her notes and folded them back in the file on the podium. Then he rose and made his way to her, his Stetson in hand.

When she noticed his approach, her movements froze and her lips parted.

Her brown eyes, which were almost hazel, widened. Her thick dark lashes, natural and unenhanced by mascara, fluttered once, twice. Then she licked her bottom lip and cleared her throat.

Clearly he’d caught her off guard, so he offered her a friendly grin and said, “I wondered if I could have a few minutes of your time.”

Selena Ramirez hadn’t expected the handsome cowboy who’d been sitting in the front row to come up to her after her class. In fact, his presence had caused her to lose her train of thought several times during the lecture.

Who was he?

What was he doing here?

Where was his wife or partner?

And why was he coming to speak to her now?

He must have read the questions in her eyes because he added, “I’d like to pick your brain, if I may.”

Goodness, right now, he could “pick” just about anything he wanted. But she shook off the inappropriate thoughts. She’d certainly provided time for questions and answers, but maybe he was too embarrassed or shy to speak in front of people. So she asked, “What did you want to know, Mr....”

“Connor. Alex. My late wife was a patient of Dr. Avery.”

Selena wasn’t sure what had stunned her the most, the fact that he was a widower or that he’d come to the lecture on infertility by himself.

“I’m not sure I understand,” she said.

“I’d like to ask you a couple of questions that I didn’t want to bring up in front of everyone else.”

She could understand that, but she wasn’t able to talk to him here and now. “There’s a board meeting scheduled at eight, so we’ll need to clear the room.”

Disappointment swept across his brow, revealing an intensity she hadn’t expected, an emotion she couldn’t quite peg.

She glanced at her watch, a silver bangle style, then looked up at him and smiled. “But I have a little time. We can talk out in the lobby.”

“Why don’t we go to the cafeteria?” he asked. “I’ll buy you a cup of coffee, latte or whatever.”

The suggestion took her by surprise. And so did the boyish grin that set off an impish glimmer in his blue eyes.

“Please?” he asked.

She was certainly tempted. She also had a few questions she’d like to ask him. From the first moment she’d scanned the audience and spotted him sitting front and center, his hat lying on the chair next to him, she’d wondered about him. So what would it hurt to spend a few minutes with him in the cafeteria?

“All right. Coffee actually sounds good.”

His smile broadened, lighting up those eyes like a Texas summer sky and knocking her completely off stride.

How was that possible? She’d never been into cowboys. Not that there was anything wrong with them. It’s just that she’d always dated professional men.

Dated? Now that was a joke. When was the last time she’d had a date? Not since settling in Brighton Valley, that was for sure.

She noticed that he seemed to favor his left leg.

A new injury? she wondered. Or an old one?

Either way, she found herself heading to the cafeteria with a man who wanted to “pick her brain.”

* * *

The cafeteria in the wellness center was actually a small counter area just off the lobby called The Health Nut, where they sold coffee and tea, as well as various waters, energy drinks, fruit juices and smoothies. They also provided nutritious snacks for people on the run.

While Dr. Ramirez carried her cup of coffee to one of several tables set out for those people who had more time on their hands, Alex paid with a twenty, then joined her.

“Thanks for giving me a few minutes of your time,” he said as he took a seat next to hers.

“No problem.”

“You’re probably wondering why I signed up for your class,” Alex said, his hands braced around the disposable cup.

“When I first spotted you sitting alone in the front row, I thought you might be a reporter,” she said.

“I’m afraid not. I actually came to learn more about the topic you’ll address during week three.”

“Surrogacy?”

He nodded, then lifted his cup and took a sip. “My late wife and I had planned to have children through in vitro fertilization. We’d gotten through the fertilization process. And after the first attempt at implantation failed, we finally managed to get pregnant, but...” He paused for a moment, then glanced down at the coffee in his cup, while he relived the phone call he’d received from the sheriff’s office, telling him that Mary had been involved in a car accident, that she was being rushed to the Brighton Valley Medical Center E.R., that she...might not make it.

“But...?” the doctor prodded.

Alex sucked it up, the memory, the grief, the guilt, the promise he was determined to keep. “My wife died when she was twenty weeks pregnant.”

“I’m sorry.” The softness in the doctor’s voice, the light cadence of her accent, provided an unexpected balm to feelings that were still raw at times.

It seemed surreal now, like a bad dream. But he gave a half shrug, as if that was all there was to it, when, in truth, it was all too complicated to explain.

“So how can I help?” she asked, the sincerity in her tone, the sympathy in her eyes making him wonder if she just might hold the key to everything.

So he took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “I still have two embryos left, and I want to hire a surrogate to carry them. But I need to learn more about the process—the pitfalls, that sort of thing. I’ll be looking for someone healthy and of sound mind. I also want to feel completely assured that whoever I choose won’t have a change of heart after the implantation. You know what I mean?”

“Absolutely. Your concerns are all valid, and you’re wise to learn all you can before making any decisions.”

“So how do I go about finding the right surrogate?”

“What you’re actually looking for is a gestational carrier because you don’t need a woman to donate any of her eggs. Of course, with only two remaining embryos, you’ll have only one shot at implanting them.”

“If it doesn’t work, I’ll deal with it.” He wasn’t interested in going through the whole process again, unless he needed to down the line. But then again, the first go-round had been way too clinical for him to ever want to go through it again.

The doctor nodded, as if she understood.

“So where do I start?” he asked.

“You can, of course, try to find someone on your own. Oftentimes a friend or a family member will help. But there are also several reputable agencies, most of which are based in Houston, that can help you. I’d planned to give a list of them to the class during the third week, but if you’ll be here next Tuesday, I can give you one then.”

“That would be great.” He tossed her a warm, appreciative grin, glad he’d come tonight, glad he’d asked her to have coffee with him. “I’ll definitely be back next week and would like that list, so thank you.”

“I’m sure you’ve invested a lot in the process already, but you’re looking at another big investment.”

Alex knew that, but he could afford it. And even if he couldn’t, he hadn’t touched any of the insurance money he’d received after Mary’s death yet.

Still, he wanted to be sure he’d been given the right scoop. “I’ve heard it can cost up to a hundred grand, plus medical expenses.”

“That sounds about right, although it varies with each agency. And with each carrier. Those with a proven track record will cost more.” Dr. Ramirez lifted her cup and took a drink.

It was weird, Alex thought. Here he was, sitting across from a beautiful woman, having coffee as if they were friends, yet he didn’t even know her first name.

He wouldn’t ask—at least, not now.

“You must have loved your wife a lot,” she said. “The whole surrogacy/implantation process can be daunting at times, especially when someone has to go through it alone.”

To be honest, Alex hadn’t been very receptive to the idea when Mary had first mentioned in vitro. He’d thought it sounded too cold, too unnatural. But rather than admit to Dr. Ramirez that he’d been less than enthusiastic at the start of the whole process, he said, “Mary was a good wife and would have made a great mother.”

A shadow of emotion crossed the doctor’s face—sympathy, Alex supposed—but she didn’t comment. And he was glad that she hadn’t.

What was there to say? Mary would’ve been a wonderful mother, and Alex was sorry she’d never had the chance. All she’d ever wanted in life was to have kids and create a happy home. So when she’d learned that she wasn’t able to get pregnant, she’d been devastated by the news. But she’d rallied by researching all the options available to her, and before long, she’d become obsessed with having a baby—their baby.

Alex had wanted to start a family, too, and had suggested they consider adoption. But Mary had refused to even think about it until they’d exhausted all their chances of having their own biological child.

He’d finally agreed, and after the second implantation had been successful, resulting in a positive pregnancy test, he’d been as excited as Mary to think that they’d finally have a little one around the house. A baby. Imagine that.

But they hadn’t even had time to think about decorating and stocking a nursery when Mary had the accident.

The afternoon Alex had received the call from the sheriff’s office, telling him that his wife had been critically injured and wasn’t expected to live, he’d raced to the Brighton Valley Medical Center E.R., just in time to have a few last words with her. Important words.

She’d known that the baby she carried at the time wouldn’t make it. But Alex still had the other embryos. And Mary had begged him to make sure they had a chance to live.

“How did your wife die?” Dr. Ramirez asked, drawing him from his somber musing.

“In a car accident.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again.

“Yeah.” Alex cleared his throat. “Me, too.”

He’d grieved Mary’s death, of course, but he blamed himself for it, too. She’d asked him to pick up a list of groceries while he’d been in town, but he’d gotten so caught up talking to a couple of friends at the feed store that the errand she’d asked him to run had completely slipped his mind, and he’d gone home before a predicted summer rain hit.

Now I’ll just have to go get them myself, Mary had told him.

And Alex had let her go out to her car that rainy day—a decision he’d felt sorry about the moment he’d realized how dark and ugly the sky had turned, a regret he’d have until his own dying day.

Why hadn’t he made a note for himself? Why hadn’t he picked up the items she’d needed before stopping to talk to Dan Walker and Ray Mendez?

Now Mary was gone, leaving him with the last two embryos to think about, to protect and nurture.

No, he told himself. Not embryos. Babies. His and Mary’s babies.

But he didn’t want to open old wounds any more than he already had this evening. So after he finished off the last of his coffee, he said, “Thank you for talking to me, Doctor.”

“Please,” she said. “Call me Selena.”

Selena. It was a pretty name, and one that fit her, if you left “Doctor” out of the equation.

“All right, Selena.” Her name rolled right off the tip of his tongue as if it was the easiest word in the world to say. And as he came to that realization, a smile formed from somewhere deep inside of him.

Were they becoming friends? If so, he was okay with it.

Was she?

* * *

Selena wasn’t sure why she’d suggested that Mr. Connor—or rather, Alex—call her by her first name. Maybe it was because they’d somehow bonded over the time it took to drink a cup of coffee.

Or maybe they were kindred spirits because his plight was similar to her own. He couldn’t have his wife’s babies without the help of someone willing to carry them. And Selena couldn’t have a child unless a birth mother was willing to give up a baby she couldn’t keep or didn’t want to raise.

Eighteen months ago, following a routine exam, Selena had learned that she’d never be able to get pregnant or carry a baby to term. The news had been heartbreaking for a woman who’d always dreamed of being a mother.

She’d hoped that with time, she would adjust to the reality and deal with it, but knowing that she’d never be able to experience the miracle of conception or go through the birth process had really begun to niggle at her lately.

Okay, she admitted. It was way more than a niggle. She’d been so dismayed, so crushed by the situation that doing her job had become more and more difficult with each passing day. Every time she thought of the miracle of conception, heard the cries of a newborn or spotted the happy tears of a new mommy holding her baby for the very first time, her disappointment grew.

At one time, she’d thought she had the perfect career. She loved delivering babies. But ever since the surgery and learning that she’d never be able to experience the miracle of childbirth herself, she’d found it getting tougher to go to the office each day.

But she shook off the melancholic thought, picked up her empty, heat-resistant paper cup and got to her feet. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Alex pushed back his seat and stood. “Thank you for agreeing to teach the class. You’re providing a great service to people who are struggling with fertility issues.”

She probably ought to respond and say something about being happy to offer those couples various options, but the truth was, she’d been seriously considering a career change of some kind and had almost refused to give the lecture series at all.

“Can I walk you to your car?” he asked.

For a moment, she wondered if his interest in her had been more romantic in nature than merely polite and appreciative, but she dismissed that thought as quickly as it had come to her. Alex Connor had loved his wife so much that he was determined to bring their children into the world and raise them without her.

She glanced at the handsome cowboy beside her, deciding that his offer had been a gallant gesture. “Thanks, but I’m parked in a safe place.”

“All right.” He lobbed another smile her way, sending her heart on a scavenger hunt for miracles that didn’t exist.

“Good night, Selena.”

She clung to the sound of her name on his lips, to the sincerity in those green eyes. But she cleared her voice and took a step back. “Good night, Alex.”

“I’ll see you next week.”

Yes, she supposed he would. As she turned and strode toward the exit, she couldn’t help thinking that Alex Connor was an attractive and appealing man. But she’d never dated the cowboy types—and didn’t plan to in the future.

Yet even more than that, he was still devoted to his late-wife’s memory. So Selena would do her best to shake any inappropriate thoughts about him.

She knew how it felt to fall for a man who’d never gotten over his first true love. And she knew just how painful a broken heart could be.

As a result, she’d vowed never to play second fiddle again.

Still, as she stepped into the parking lot, she couldn’t help being a little envious of the late Mary Connor.