Confusion called out from Kevin’s piercing brown eyes. “Just spill it, Leah.”
As the old adage went, a picture was worth a thousand words, which was why Leah chose to remove the photograph from the clear plastic folder. A photograph that resided among others of friends and family and all those precious in her life, including one of her and Kevin taken during their final vacation in Mexico that for some reason she hadn’t had the desire to remove. But this particular photo was the most precious of all.
She dropped the wallet back into her bag and offered the picture to Kevin without explanation. Clarification would come soon enough.
He studied the photo for a time before his gaze snapped to hers. “Who is this?” Her gift. Her miracle. Her entire world.
“She’s your daughter, Kevin.”
Dear Reader,
After I learned I was expecting my first child, I couldn’t imagine how I would handle all the sleepless nights, the countless diaper changes, the absolute fear of failure. Believe me, I had more than a few “what was I thinking?” moments during that pregnancy. But after my daughter’s birth, it didn’t take long before I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
As remarkable as becoming a parent can be, it does tend to alter your schedule, to say the least. You can’t always sleep when you feel like it, you don’t always have ample alone time. You can’t routinely party until dawn or travel cross-country on a whim. After all, an innocent child is counting on you to provide the most basic of needs—food, clothing, shelter and, most important, love. In other words, it is true what they say—having a baby does change everything. And that is what inspired me to write a story about a confirmed bad-boy bachelor, who has made more than his share of mistakes, and his unanticipated journey into fatherhood that leads to his redemption.
I hope you enjoy His Best Mistake, where Kevin O’Brien discovers that living for the moment isn’t nearly as rewarding as living for the ones you love.
Happy reading!
Kristi Gold
Kristi Gold has always believed that love has remarkable healing powers and feels very fortunate to be able to weave stories of love and commitment. As a bestselling author, National Readers’ Choice winner and Romance Writers of America RITA® Award finalist, Kristi has learned that although accolades are wonderful, the most cherished rewards come from personal stories shared by readers and networking with other authors, both published and aspiring. You may contact Kristi through her Web site, www.kristigold.com, Facebook or through snail mail at P.O. Box 24197, Waco, Texas 76702 (please include an SASE for response).
In loving memory of my wonderful mother,
Jean.
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
EPILOGUE
“IT’S APLASTIC ANEMIA…it can be fatal…”
As a senior staff writer for a prominent sports magazine, Kevin O’Brien possessed an extensive vocabulary. But the words aplastic anemia meant nothing to him. Fatal did.
Not five minutes ago, he’d been in his Houston loft packing for a trip after arranging a rare interview with a well-known pro-football player. Now his physician brother was pretty much telling him he could be biting the big one, reaching the finish line and every other clichéd description of death that came to mind.
No way could this be happening now. He had a great career that had been years in the making. He’d been involved in an eight-month relationship with a woman who had come to mean more to him than he’d ever thought possible. He was only thirty-five, and he still had too much left to do to die. But in light of the grave look on Devin’s face, he might not have any choice in the matter.
Needing to sit, and fast, Kevin raked a newspaper from his favorite lounger and dropped down on the chair. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’m positive.” After taking a seat on the sofa, Devin leaned forward and said, “You have a dangerously low level of red and white blood cells and platelets. That means you fall into the moderately severe range for the disease.”
Kevin thought about how he’d lived life on the edge, driven to achieve prominence in his field, and how sometimes he would exchange sleep to get ahead. He’d also made more than his share of mistakes along the way. “What in the hell caused this?”
“It’s idiopathic, which means no known cause. It only happens to about three in every one million people in this country annually.”
Lucky me. “So do I just sit around and wait for it to kill me, or is there something you can do to treat this?”
“I’m an E.R. doctor, Kevin, and a relative, so I can’t treat you. I only agreed to order the lab work as a favor when you started having the nosebleeds and fatigue. But I know a good hematologist who’ll manage your care.”
Kevin’s anger began to build. Anger directed at his brother who was obviously bent on deserting him, which wasn’t exactly logical. But he didn’t have a firm grip on logic right now.
He pushed out of the chair and began to pace. “Can’t you tell me anything about what I’m facing, Dev, or did Mom and Dad waste all that money on your training?”
His brother held up his hands, palms forward. “Calm down, Kevin.”
If he had more energy, he’d put his fist through the wall. “You try remaining calm when someone just handed you a death sentence.”
“It doesn’t have to be a death sentence. You can have a bone-marrow transplant.”
After inhaling a few deep breaths, Kevin reclaimed his spot in the lounger. “What does that entail?”
“You’ll have to undergo a process to destroy all your bone marrow before the transplant. That involves roughly two weeks of chemotherapy. Post transplant, you’re looking at six months to a year of recovery time. You’ll have to limit your contact with the general public until your immune system is back to normal.”
Aside from being tired as a dog, Kevin didn’t feel all that sick. Therefore, he had no intention of letting this disease interfere with his work. “No way can I consider the transplant for at least three months. Preseason football starts in a couple of weeks and I have at least ten interviews scheduled. I have to make a living.”
“Not if you’re dead.”
His brother’s proclamation packed the punch of a right hook. “There’s no medicine I can take to stop this?”
Devin sighed. “You could have transfusions for a few months, but that’s only supportive care, not a cure. Eventually you’ll have to have the transplant in order to survive.”
At least that was something positive. But he still had questions. “Does this transplant come with a guaranteed cure?”
“Nothing is one-hundred-percent foolproof, Kevin. The transplant preparation itself poses risks. But if you want a shot at a full recovery, it’s your only alternative. Fortunately, you have an identical twin who’s a perfect genetic match as a possible donor.”
Not an option. Not when he’d barely spoken to his brother over the past few years. “I’m not going to ask Kieran to do that, and even if I did, he wouldn’t agree. Give me another choice.”
“We could test the other siblings to see if they’re a match and I’d be willing to be tested, too. Or you can search for a match through outside donor registries. But with either of those options, you’re increasing your chances for rejection.”
“I can’t expect any of you to turn your own lives upside down for me, so I’ll just take my chances and go with the donor registry.”
Devin looked as frustrated as Kevin felt. “You’re shutting out the family like you always do, Kevin. Don’t be so damn stubborn.”
“I’m being practical.” Practicality had always served him well when it came to masking his emotions. And right now, his emotions were running the gambit from fury to fear. But fear was counterproductive and he vowed not to give in to it. “I don’t have time to deal with this now. I have to catch a plane in less than two hours and I have an interview to conduct in about four.” Anything to get his mind off the news.
“Cancel the trip and get someone to cover for you, Kevin. Until you see the hematologist and decide on a treatment plan, your immune system can’t handle even the slightest infection. Airplanes are breeding grounds for those infections.”
Great. Not only had he been presented with the prospect of losing his life, he could very well lose his job. “I’ve worked too damn hard to establish myself with the magazine to blow it all to hell now.”
Devin nailed him with a glare. “A certain amount of denial is expected in this situation, but you’d better start facing reality—and soon. You’re sick and you have no chance to get better unless you get the medical attention you need.”
His mind wanted to reject that reality, but his gut told him he’d better heed his brother’s advice. “I’ll cancel the trip.”
“Good,” Devin said as he stood. “I’ll call the hematologist and have him work you in tomorrow. In the meantime, you should talk to Mom and Dad because you’re going to need all the support you can get, especially during the chemo phase. It’s tough.”
If he told his parents now, his mother would immediately warp into overprotective mode, exactly what she’d been doing since the day he’d been born the sickly twin. He preferred to avoid that scenario for as long as possible. “I’ll wait to tell Mom and Dad until I know exactly what’s going to happen next.”
“Fine, but don’t wait too long, Kevin. And there’s one more thing you need to know. You have a fifty-fifty chance of being sterile because of the chemo. If you’re serious about your girlfriend, you need to discuss this with her. But since she’s a doctor, she’ll be able to help you sort through all the information.”
Right now Kevin was on information overload, yet one thing had become all too clear. He couldn’t burden Leah with his problems, not when she was so close to finishing her fellowship. Not when he might not be able to give her the one thing she’d always said she wanted—a lot of kids. More important, if the treatment failed to cure him, he didn’t want her to watch him die. “Leah and I broke up.” A lie, but he planned to make it the truth, and soon.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” Devin said. “And I’m sorry I never got to meet her. I hear she’s a nice lady.”
She was more than nice. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
His brother walked to the exit but paused before opening the door. “I’ll notify you later today when I have an appointment time. Try to get some rest and call me if you need me, even if it’s only to talk.”
“Thanks, Dev. I appreciate it.”
“You bet. And one more thing. It’s okay to be afraid.”
When Kevin couldn’t come up with a response, his brother walked out the door, leaving him alone to plan what he needed to do next, and that involved making several phone calls.
He thought about canceling his flight first and contacting the magazine after that. But one call took precedence over the others, and it happened to be the one he dreaded the most.
Better to get it over with now, before he had time to reconsider. He walked into his office and picked up the phone, clutching the receiver in his hands for a few seconds before he hit the speed dial that would connect him with the hospital where Leah spent most of her time.
After he waited several minutes for her to answer the page, she greeted him with her usual, “Dr. Cordero.”
Just the sound of her voice filled him with overwhelming regret. “Hey, Leah. It’s Kevin.”
“I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon. From what you told me this morning, I thought you’d be on your way to Dallas about now. Is your flight delayed?”
“No. I just wanted to talk to you.”
“I’m glad you called. It gives me the chance to say goodbye to you twice in one day.”
He was about to say goodbye permanently, and that was tearing him up inside. “I have something I need to tell you.”
“Is everything okay, Kevin? You sound strange.”
He was anything but okay. He might never be okay again. “Look, Leah, I’ve been thinking, and the truth is, my life is crazy right now, and so is yours. I’ve decided it’s better if we take a break for a while.”
A span of silence passed before she said, “A break? Or do you mean break up?”
He brought out all the old excuses that he kept on hand like a favorite pair of worn jeans. “It’s getting too serious between us. I’m not ready to settle down, and I doubt you are either.”
“I see. So this is the infamous break-up speech. Might have been nice if you’d taken the less cowardly route and told me in person.”
If he’d done that, she would’ve sensed he was lying, and he might have buckled under her scrutiny. “I’m busy, Leah.”
“But not too busy to whisk me away on a four-day resort vacation a week ago?” She released a bitter laugh. “What was that, Kevin? A few last-minute screws just for grins? And all those things you said about how much you cared about me. I should’ve known better than to believe you.”
At the time he’d meant every word he said. God, he still did. “I do care about you, Leah.”
“And I hate you for doing this to me, Kevin.”
He could hear the tears in her voice and despised the fact that he’d put them there. “I’m sorry.” A totally inadequate statement, but the only thing he knew to say.
“I’m sorry, too. Sorry we ever met and that you turned out to be such a bastard. Heaven help the next woman who becomes involved with you.”
When she hung up the phone, Kevin experienced an overwhelming sense of loss the likes of which he’d never known. Although he still believed he had no choice but to let Leah go, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d just made the greatest mistake of his life.
What life he had left.
O’Brien’s Sports Scene
June Edition
OVER THE past several months, I’ve learned one important lesson—facing death will definitely change your life…
He immediately highlighted the text and punched the delete button with a vengeance. He had no business personalizing a syndicated column targeting a readership focused on fantasy teams, play-off berths and trade deadlines. But the fact that he’d even considered revealing his life-and-death battle to the general public indicated exactly how much his life had changed. How much he had changed.
During his battle with the disease that had nearly killed him, Kevin had become much more introspective, more settled. Hell, he’d even bought a house in a Houston suburb. A year ago, he never would’ve envisioned exchanging cross-country jet-setting for a home office. If he hadn’t gotten sick, he wouldn’t have spent so much time contemplating his mistakes, either, and he’d made plenty. One particular mistake continued to haunt him daily, but he couldn’t dwell on that decision now. Not if he wanted to make his Monday-morning deadline.
When the doorbell chimed, Kevin leaned back in his chair and released a rough sigh. Most likely his mother had dropped by unannounced to question why he hadn’t attended the traditional O’Brien Sunday lunch, when in reality she’d come to make sure he hadn’t suffered a relapse. As much as he appreciated her concern, he’d become increasingly annoyed by her obsession over his well-being. Then again, Lucine O’Brien had that obsession down to a fine art where he was concerned.
The bell sounded again and for a moment Kevin contemplated ignoring the summons. Not a good idea. His car was parked in the drive, which could cause his mom to panic and place an unnecessary call to the paramedics. Leaning to his right, he pulled back the curtain to the window facing the front lawn. But instead of finding his mother’s minivan parked at the curb, he caught sight of another car. A very familiar car.
No way could it be her. First of all, she didn’t know where he lived. Secondly, she hated him, which is what she’d said verbatim the last time he’d spoken to her by phone all those months ago. Then again, he didn’t know another solitary soul who owned a cherry-red Volkswagen convertible.
Curiosity sent Kevin to the front entry to seek verification that his past had in fact landed on his doorstep. Verification that came when he peered through the sidelight window and laid eyes on the woman standing at the edge of the walkway, motionless, as if her feet were frozen to the cement.
He’d recognize that body from a football field away, even though it was encased in a loose, flowing, sleeveless aqua dress instead of her standard scrubs. He couldn’t mistake those exotic, almond-shaped hazel eyes that almost matched the tone of her skin. He’d witnessed those eyes grow heavy and hazy when he’d made love to her—and darker when he’d riled her temper. He also couldn’t forget that silky, brown, chin-length hair streaked with blond, either. He recalled in great detail how it had felt against his bare skin.
From the moment he’d met her, Dr. Leah Cordero had become one of his major weaknesses. Not only was she beautiful and smart, she had been the best lover he’d ever known. Sexy as hell. Wild and uninhibited. Incredible. The kind of woman who brought a man to immediate attention. Every part of him.
And he’d better make damn sure he was decent before he faced her again, which is why he waited a few moments before opening the door. He also needed time to assess why she might have sought him out. Maybe she’d decided to give him another piece of her mind, this time in person. Maybe she’d somehow learned he’d been sick, the lie he’d lived with—and almost died with—for twelve long months. And just maybe, if luck prevailed, she wanted a second chance. And believing that would make him the ultimate fool.
LEAH HAD only one reason to confront Kevin O’Brien, even though she’d been tempted to hold off the revelation until another day. Yet she’d recently decided that taking the high road seemed the prudent thing to do. Unfortunately, it didn’t look as though she’d get the chance to speak her mind today because either he wasn’t at home or he was avoiding her. That meant she would have to return later, if she didn’t lose her nerve.
Leah started back to her car but paused in the middle of the walkway to turn and take one last look at the massive abode Kevin had purchased in her absence. An amazing house, to say the least. And the fact he’d settled in a family-friendly neighborhood was also remarkable. That caused her to question whether he lived with someone, namely, a woman.
Frankly, what Kevin O’Brien did or didn’t do wasn’t any of her concern. He could live with ten women, for all she cared. He didn’t matter to her anymore…at least that’s what she thought until he walked out the front door and came toward her.
As hard as she tried to ignore the impact Kevin still had on her, Leah couldn’t. Couldn’t ignore his steady, self-assured gait, his aura of strength—it had captured her attention the night they’d met in a premier Houston nightclub on one of the very rare occasions when she’d been out on the town. She surely couldn’t ignore the longer length of his hair or the shading of whiskers on his normally clean-shaven face, although those unexpected aspects didn’t detract from his incredible looks. But she had to remember her mission. Remember that what had once existed between them had ended in the span of a three-minute phone conversation almost a year ago.
Kevin paused a few feet before her and hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans. “Hey,” he said in a voice that sounded almost remorseful.
Leah mustered all the fortitude she possessed, using recollections of their last verbal exchange to bolster her courage. “Hello, Kevin.”
He sized her up with one lengthy, slow visual excursion. “You look great.”
So did he. Nothing better than a sexy man dressed in white T-shirt and faded jeans. But she didn’t plan to pay him any compliments, even if she did intend to be coolly polite. “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
“I’m all yours.”
At one time, Leah had honestly believed that. But not now. Not ever.
When she noticed a few people milling around the front lawn next door, she decided the last thing she needed was an audience when she lowered the boom. “Can we go somewhere more private?”
“We can go inside,” he said. “I’ll give you the grand tour.”
“I wouldn’t want to bother anyone else who might be inside.”
Kevin frowned. “I’m the only one here.”
“You don’t have a roommate?”
“Nope. It’s just me.”
At least that answered her question. Still, she didn’t dare spend a moment alone in a house with Kevin O’Brien. Particularly in a house with a bed. Or a sofa or a floor, for that matter. “I’d prefer the front porch.”
“It’s a lot cooler in the house, Leah.” He studied her through narrowed eyes. “Or are you afraid I’m going to make a move on you if we’re alone together?”
Yes, and equally afraid she might forget that he’d trampled her emotions and make an inadvisable move on him. “That wouldn’t be a first, Kevin.”
“You know me well enough to know that I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do, Leah.”
Aside from breaking her heart. “I still think remaining outside would be better.”
His expression showed a hint of impatience. “Could we at least go into the backyard and sit in a chair under some shade?”
That sounded like a solid plan to Leah. Kevin might need a chair once she was done. “Okay.”
He gestured toward the drive to his left. “Right this way.”
“Just a minute.” Leah returned to the car, opened the door and grabbed a bag from the backseat. A bag that contained two items representing her reasons for the spontaneous visit.
After slipping the strap over her shoulder, she walked with Kevin down the lengthy drive, keeping a reasonable berth between them. Even a brush of arms would bring about old memories she didn’t care to relive, although at times she had relived them in her mind. Each wonderful, exciting and heartbreaking moment. She’d foolishly been bowled over by his easy charm, intrigued by his complex personality. Completely drawn in by his expertise as a lover. She’d learned quite a bit about him in their eight months together. Clearly she hadn’t learned the most important detail before she’d fallen totally in love with him—he wasn’t in the market for a permanent commitment.
Once they rounded the corner of the house, Kevin opened a black iron gate that provided the entry through a white brick wall surrounding the backyard. When he motioned her forward, Leah stepped into what she would deem a perfect oasis, right down to the rock waterfall feeding into a crystal-blue diving pool and a state-of-the-art outdoor kitchen adjacent to a small cabana.
“Wow.” That was the only thing Leah could manage around her surprise.
“Pretty great, huh?”
She turned and caught Kevin’s smile. Big mistake. That smile had been the death of her determination to resist him on more than one occasion. After a brief mental pep talk, Leah said, “It’s very nice. Great for entertaining.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t had a chance to do much entertaining yet. I’ve only been here a month.”
As if she really believed a month wasn’t enough time for him to entertain various bikini-clad beauties. “Corri told me you’d only recently moved in.” The only solid information his sister-in-law had provided when Leah had worked up the nerve to contact her.
His smile faded into a frown. “Is that how you found me?”
“Yes. I called her after I stopped by your loft and discovered you’d moved.”
“Didn’t she give you my new phone number?”
“She did, but I decided we needed to speak in person.” She’d actually considered delivering the news by phone, affording him the same non-courtesy that he’d afforded her when he’d ended their relationship. Instead, she’d opted to be an adult and engage in a face-to-face meeting, although at the moment she questioned her wisdom.
But she was here now, so she might as well get down to brass tacks. On that thought, she asked, “Can we sit down now?”
“Sure.” Kevin guided her to a table situated beneath a copse of pines and oaks and pulled out a brown-striped chair.
Leah took the designated seat while Kevin chose the chair across from her, thankful for the table that put much-needed space between them. She set her bag on the ground at her feet and tightly clasped her hands on the glass surface. “These trees help with the heat.” At least from a meteorological standpoint. Noticing all of Kevin’s finer details didn’t help Leah’s internal heat in the least. It seemed he’d lost some weight, but he’d undeniably gained some muscle. He’d always been in great shape, but his biceps looked larger. His chest looked broader. His abs looked tighter beneath the T-shirt. And if she knew what was best, she’d keep her eyes off his attributes.
“The Houston heat in June’s always brutal, especially at four in the afternoon,” he said, drawing her attention back to his face.
“I had a busy morning, otherwise, I would have been here much earlier.” She’d spent the better part of the day engaged in an internal debate, until she’d forced herself to stop procrastinating.
After another brief bout of silence, Kevin asked, “How’s your fellowship going?”
Though she was avoiding the news she’d come to deliver, Leah saw no reason not to be civil. “It’s going well. The hospital rotations can be tough, but I work part of the time in a clinic.”
“Which means more normal hours,” he said.
Odd that he remembered all the details they’d discussed during their time together. Then again, he had been very attentive, both in and out of bed. “I’m really looking forward to finishing in August so I can finally start utilizing what I’ve learned.” She would have been finished now had she not taken a necessary break in her hometown before returning to Houston two months ago.
Kevin brushed a leaf from the table with a sweep of his hand. “Have you decided where you’re going to practice?”
In some ways, that decision had been made for her. “I’m going home to Mississippi. Since my fellowship has focused on healthcare for the indigent, I plan to work part-time in a free clinic, and possibly open my own practice to pay the bills.”
“You won’t miss the big-city lifestyle?” His tone hinted at disappointment, or maybe she was reading too much into it.
“I’d miss my family more.” She also needed their support, now more than ever.
“I’m sure you’ll do great, wherever you land,” he said. “Good luck.”
For some reason, she’d wanted him to say he would miss her. That he’d made a huge error in judgment by letting her go. That he wished she would stay in Houston. And that was insanely ridiculous. Even if he did say all those things, she couldn’t believe him.
The conversation died for a time until Leah sent a quick glance in his direction to find him rubbing his eyes. “You look tired. Obviously you’ve been burning the midnight oil.” Or burning up the sheets with his latest babe.
“Just been busy with work.”
“Traveling a lot?”
“Actually, no. For the most part I’m working from home now. I write a nationally syndicated column and I maintain a sports blog for the magazine.”
That surprised her almost as much as the longer length of his hair. “You’ve always loved interviewing all those sports superstars. What on earth happened?”
His expression showed definite discomfort. “Things change, Leah.”
Yes, but she suspected he hadn’t. Maybe he wasn’t traipsing all over the country searching for his next female conquest, but she had no doubt women were still seeking him out on a regular basis, and he was gladly accommodating them. That didn’t matter to her any longer, or it shouldn’t.
She’d come here to say something important, and she needed to say it now. Yet when Kevin centered his dark eyes on her, Leah temporarily misplaced her train of thought. And when he leaned over and traced a fingertip along her jaw, she stiffened and muttered, “Don’t.”
If he so much as touched her again, Leah might momentarily forget how badly he’d wounded her, heart and soul. She refused to do that. Refused to succumb to his charm that he wielded like a net to ensnare unsuspecting females. She’d already been there and she wasn’t going back.
“Sorry.” His features turned sullen as he once more leaned back in his chair. “Do you mind telling me why you’re here?”
“Not to take up where we left off, Kevin.” Lying wasn’t the norm for Leah. In fact, she always demanded honesty under normal situations. Yet nothing about this situation was normal. She’d do whatever seemed necessary to discourage him, even if that meant fabricating an intimate relationship with another man. “Besides, I’m seeing someone.”
Kevin leaned forward and studied her a long moment. “Who is he?”
Leah was taken aback by the question, as well as the jealousy in his tone. A typical male I-don’t-want-you-but-I-don’t-want-anyone-else-to-have-you reaction. As it was with her job, she had to think quickly. “He’s someone I’ve known for a long time. We met up again when I was visiting my parents in Mississippi.” Not exactly a lie, but not the whole truth, either. She had seen her childhood friend, J. W. Camp, a few times when she’d been home. But J.W. was more like a brother to her, a detail she chose to omit. “He owns his own business. He’s a good man. Solid. Steady. Honest.”
“And you don’t believe I’m any of those things?”
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.