“I’ve no idea what you mean.” She took another step but he still didn’t move aside.
“So it isn’t a conscious reaction, then? You don’t deliberately pull up the drawbridge every time you feel someone is getting too close for comfort?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Matt. I was never any good at solving riddles.” She brushed past him and opened the front door. “I’ll see you in the morning. Good night.”
“Good night, Catherine.”
He didn’t try to detain her any longer.
Catherine got into her car, trying to ignore the empty ache inside her, the feeling that she had turned her back on something very special. Matt was just a colleague and he would never be any more than that.
She knew it was true, yet no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t convince herself she had done the right thing by walking away from him. Part of her wished she’d stayed.
Dear Reader,
Christmas is always a busy time and most of us spend ages searching for the perfect gift for those we love. Jewelry, socks, ties—the list is endless. Yet I don’t think anyone, other than the hero in this story, could find a more wonderful present for the woman he loves.
Catherine Lewis is a woman who knows exactly what she wants from life, and a husband and family don’t play any part in her dreams for the future. She has devoted herself to her career in medicine and has no intention of being sidetracked when she meets Matthew Fielding and his adorable children. Can Matthew make her understand that she can have so much more than just her career if she will accept his gift?
A happy and peaceful Christmas to you all.
Jennifer
Cover
Dear Reader
Title Page
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
Copyright
‘DR FIELDING shouldn’t be long now. He’s running late tonight…again! I was just on my way home but if you’d like to wait in here then I’ll tell him you’ve arrived.’
‘Thank you.’
Catherine Lewis looked around the room as the receptionist hurried away. It was quite a pleasant room, she decided, taking stock. Brookdale Surgery was sited in one of the old Victorian terraces that overlooked the park and the room had a typically spacious feel with its high ceiling and generous proportions.
There were chairs lined up against the walls and a table in the centre stacked with magazines. A poinsettia in a glazed earthenware pot made a splash of colour against its polished surface. It looked exactly like the waiting room in a lot of GP’s surgeries, in fact—a little untidy and slightly the worse for wear. When she opened her own surgery, she would make sure the waiting room looked much better than this.
Catherine walked to the window and looked out but there wasn’t much to see. It was the middle of October and dark outside. Pushing back the cuff of her suit jacket, she checked the time. Six forty-two. Her interview had been scheduled for six-thirty and although she had no other engagements that evening it was annoying to be kept waiting. She was always punctual both in her professional and her private life. To her mind, it was not only bad manners to keep people waiting but a sign of inefficiency. Recalling what the receptionist had said, it appeared that punctuality wasn’t one of Dr Fielding’s strong points. It made her wonder how they would get on.
‘Dr Lewis. I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting.’
Catherine swung round when she heard the man’s voice. Her eyes were dazzled by the lights in the room so that she couldn’t see him clearly. She had a fleeting impression of height and breadth of shoulder as he came towards her. He stopped and held out his hand, his face breaking into a warm smile which immediately made her want to smile back. She was so surprised that she found herself giving in to the impulse.
‘I’m Matthew Fielding. We spoke on the phone the other day.’
His fingers felt warm and slightly rough against the smoothness of hers. Catherine let her hand remain in his for a moment longer than politeness dictated before she realised what she was doing. She quickly withdrew her hand, curbing the urge to run it down her skirt to remove the slight tingling sensation. She cleared her throat, not sure she enjoyed the fact that she could still feel the impression Matthew Fielding’s fingers had left on hers.
‘I’m delighted to meet you, Dr Fielding.’ She smoothed her face into a suitable expression, pleased that she had managed to control the inane smile at last. She didn’t feel nervous but maybe she was. After all, this job was another step in the right direction, another rung to be climbed on the ladder towards her goal.
The thought helped her focus on what was really important rather than the strange way she seemed to be behaving that night. She had made her plans a long time ago and not once had she veered from the route she had chosen—A levels, med school, experience in a variety of suitable general practices before she opened her own surgery. Now all she needed was a year here at Brookdale Surgery, a practice in an increasingly popular area of the city, then she would be ready to start looking for suitable premises…
‘So I’d really love a cup of coffee—wouldn’t you?’
Catherine jumped when she realised that she’d missed what Matthew Fielding had said. A little colour touched her cheeks at the lapse. She prided herself on always being focused and it wasn’t like her to let her mind wander.
‘I…um…coffee would be nice,’ she said, hoping that she had guessed correctly what he’d been saying. It seemed that she had because he smiled at her once more. He really did have the most wonderful smile, she thought. It was so warm and friendly that it must make people long to confide in him.
Catherine took a quick breath when she realised her thoughts were wandering again. It was a relief when Matthew turned to lead the way out of the room. She kept her eyes locked on his back as she followed him into the corridor, hoping it would help if she concentrated on something tangible. She must be nervous. It was the only explanation that made any sense.
He had to be well over six feet tall, she decided, her gaze sweeping up the solid length of his muscular back. He moved with the easy grace of a trained athlete, his long legs striding purposefully along the corridor so that she had to quicken her pace to keep up. Her brown eyes skimmed over the neat hips and trim waist, the wide shoulders, before moving up to his well-shaped head.
His hair was a rich, sandyblond colour, very thick and crisp-looking. He wore it cut very short, probably because it had a tendency to curl if he allowed it to grow any longer. Catherine sighed wistfully as she thought how typical it was that a man should be blessed with that kind of hair. Her own hair was so straight that she’d long since given up any hope of making it curl. Now she rarely bothered to do anything different with it, preferring to wear it the way she wore it that night—neatly coiled into a heavy, nut-brown knot at the nape of her neck.
Someone—a man who had hoped to become rather more than a friend—had told her once that she should let her hair down both physically and metaphorically speaking. However, it was a piece of advice she had never heeded. She preferred to keep all aspects of her life strictly under control.
‘I hope you don’t mind if we use the kitchen.’ Matthew Fielding paused and looked back at her, a hint of amusement making his blue eyes sparkle. ‘I know it isn’t usual to conduct an interview around the kitchen table but I haven’t eaten all day. I’m sure you would prefer not to have to give a practical demonstration of your skills, Catherine, if I passed out from lack of sustenance!’
Catherine felt a frisson run under her skin when he addressed her by her first name. It was odd how disturbing it was to have him call her that, as though they had crossed some unseen boundary. She gave a small shrug, not wanting him to guess there was anything wrong.
‘Wherever is most convenient for you, Dr Fielding. I really don’t mind.’
‘Make that Matthew. Or better still, Matt. That’s what most people call me, or at least those I class as friends.’ He opened the door then stepped back to let her precede him.
Catherine smiled politely as she went into the room although she took care neither to agree nor disagree with his suggestion. She had no qualms about calling him Matthew once their relationship was established, but as for using the diminutive…
She shivered, wondering why the thought of being classed as one of his friends bothered her so much. She had a wide circle of friends, all of them people like her who understood exactly what constituted friendship. They followed the rules and accepted there were limits to what a friend could be called upon to do. There should be no exchanges of confidences, no unannounced visits, no demands other than the brief sharing of time at various social events. That Matthew Fielding would view friendship as something entirely different went without question although Catherine had no idea how she could possibly have known that.
It was yet another niggling little worry, another uncertainty, and her mouth pursed. How did she know that Matthew Fielding would expect a lot more from someone he classed as his friend?
‘Sugar? Milk?’ Matthew had plugged in the kettle and was now taking mugs out of a cupboard. Catherine forced her mind back on track again. Maybe this was a rather strange place to hold an interview but she mustn’t allow it to upset her.
‘Just milk please,’ she replied evenly, pulling out a chair and sitting down at the big pine table. She glanced round the kitchen and realised immediately that it wasn’t just somewhere the staff made themselves a drink during the day. It was a real family kitchen, from the bright yellow Aga to the childish drawings fixed to the refrigerator door by a selection of colourful magnets. She frowned uncertainly, wondering what the arrangements were within the practice.
‘I live here in the main part of the house. There’s just the kitchen on the ground floor, though, because the rest of the space is needed for the surgery,’ Matthew informed her. He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of milk. He splashed some into a mug then brought it over to the table for her.
‘Thank you.’ Catherine smiled politely but she couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t surprised by what she’d learned. She hadn’t realised that the surgery was essentially part of Matthew’s home although she had no idea what difference it made.
‘You’re welcome.’
Once again she was treated to one of those wonderful smiles before he went back to the refrigerator and dug around inside it for a moment. He had a head of lettuce and a couple of tomatoes in his hands this time when he slammed the door.
‘As I was saying, the main part of the house is also my home, which makes it very handy for getting to work of a morning. No such thing as traffic jams to contend with…well, not vehicular ones, anyway.’
He grinned as he plonked the lettuce on a chopping board and set to work. Catherine watched as he expertly shredded it then set about slicing the tomatoes. It was obvious that he was used to doing such tasks because his hands never faltered when he carried on speaking.
‘When Glenda and I decided to open the practice we realised that one of us would have to live over the shop so to speak. It was a question of economics. Property in the city is horrendously expensive, as you know, so there was no way that we could afford to buy or even lease suitable premises.’
‘I see. So you decided to combine the two and make your home here?’
‘That’s right. I was married by then and Ruth, my wife, was expecting our first child. The plan was that we would live here until the practice got on its feet and then we would move out of the city. However, after Ruth died it made more sense to continue living here. It means that I don’t have to waste time travelling to and from work and can be home with the children as soon as I finish.’ He put down his knife and went back to the fridge.
Catherine frowned as she tried to absorb what he had told her. She’d had no idea that Matthew Fielding was a widower although there was no reason why she should have known, of course. His domestic arrangements had little to do with her except where they overlapped into his work. She waited until he had found what he needed in the fridge, which turned out to be a bowl of large brown eggs this time, before she set about clarifying the situation.
‘And Glenda—who I assume is your partner in the practice—is quite happy with the arrangement?’
‘Oh, yes. And, yes, again, Glenda is indeed my partner. Sorry. I should have explained that at the beginning.’ He grinned at her. ‘Just because I know so much about you, it doesn’t mean that you know anything about me, or this practice for that matter. Feel free to fire away and ask me anything you want.’
Catherine smiled coolly but it was just a cover for the fact that she couldn’t think of a single question to ask him at that moment. Maybe it was because the interview wasn’t following the usual pattern which had thrown her off course, she reasoned. Whenever she had been interviewed in the past there had been all the usual questions about her educational achievements, her experience and future plans, but Matthew Fielding hadn’t touched on any of those points so far.
All of a sudden, she found herself willing him to get back on track. Silly though it sounded, but she knew it would be easier to cope if she was on familiar ground. However, it seemed that he had no intention of fitting in with her preconceived ideas about how to conduct an interview.
‘Don’t tell me you’re too shy to ask me any questions, Catherine.’ He looked expectantly at her and she was mortified to feel herself blushing.
Matthew shook his head, a rueful expression crossing his face. ‘Me and my big mouth, eh? Of course you’re shy. You only met me five minutes ago and you’re probably on your best behaviour and don’t want to appear pushy. It’s a long time since I went for an interview so you’ll have to forgive me.’
‘I…um…There’s nothing to forgive.’
The situation was rapidly deteriorating and Catherine knew that she had to do something before it got any worse. Matthew had made her sound like some delicate little soul who was afraid to say boo to the proverbial goose rather than a mature woman of thirty-two who was more than capable of running her own life! She sat up straighter, a touch of hauteur about the look she gave him.
‘I assure you that I am not shy, Dr Fielding. However, you were right to say that I know very little about this practice apart from what you told me over the phone.’
She took a deep breath, pleased to hear how composed she sounded. It gave her the confidence to continue although she would have preferred it if Matthew had sat down rather than carried on with what he was doing. Her tone sharpened as she watched him breaking eggs into a bowl.
‘So Glenda is Dr Williams, and there are just the two of you in practice here at Brookdale Surgery?’
‘That’s right.’ He picked up a fork and began beating the eggs. ‘We have been toying with the idea of finding a third partner as the practice is expanding so fast. You may have heard that this area is becoming one of the most sought-after in London.’
His tone was dry when he said that and Catherine frowned. It hadn’t sounded as though the idea pleased him although surely it should? A thriving population would bring many rewards to the practice. With more patients on his list, Matthew could apply for extra funding. He could even take on private patients if he wanted to because there were always people willing to pay if it meant they could avoid the NHS queues. It was all very puzzling but she decided that it might be best not to question him. It really wasn’t her business how he felt.
‘So I believe. However, the job you advertised wasn’t for a third partner,’ she stated coolly.
‘No. We’ve put that idea on hold for now. We have a far more pressing problem to deal with at the moment.’
He opened a cupboard and took out a heavy iron pan. Setting it on the Aga, he scooped a knob of butter from the dish and dropped it into the pan. As soon as it began to sizzle he added the egg mixture to the pan then turned to look at her.
‘Glenda has just found out that she’s pregnant. Naturally, she’s thrilled because she and her husband have been trying for a baby for ages. However, she’s had a couple of miscarriages in the past so her obstetrician has advised her that she should stop work immediately to give herself the best chance possible of carrying this baby to term.
‘I’ve arranged locum cover to tide us over for a few weeks but Glenda and I both agreed that we need something more permanent. And that’s where you come in, Catherine.’
Once again she felt that ripple under her skin when he called her by her first name. Catherine steadfastly ignored it, choosing instead to concentrate on the professional aspects of this strange interview, although it wasn’t easy in the circumstances. Holding an interview in a kitchen really wasn’t her idea of how things should be done.
Matthew had returned his attention to his cooking and was now lifting the omelette from the pan. He smiled at her, one sandy brow rising a fraction. ‘If you want half, just say the word.’
She shook her head, wishing he would concentrate on what they were there for. Silly though it sounded, the sooner this was over the happier she would feel. There was something a little too familiar about the thought of them sitting around the kitchen table sharing a meal. It troubled her. ‘Thank you but I’ve already eaten.’
It wasn’t a lie because she’d had a cup of coffee and a sandwich on her way there that night. There hadn’t been time for anything more substantial after she’d finished the early evening surgery which she had been rostered for that day. However, she couldn’t stop her stomach from suddenly rumbling when her nostrils caught the tantalising aroma which wafted across the kitchen.
Matthew laughed as he took a second plate off the shelf and deftly slid half the omelette onto it. ‘Stop being so polite! Here you go.’
Before Catherine could protest he had put the plate in front of her and gone to fetch another set of cutlery. He sat down, offering her the bowl of salad so that she had no option but to take some.
‘Thank you,’ she said stiffly, cutting a sliver off the omelette and popping it into her mouth. It tasted wonderful, she realised. Light and fluffy and a world better than her own miserable efforts.
‘You’re welcome.’ Matthew tucked into his meal with unselfconscious relish. He forked a mouthful of salad into his mouth and quickly chewed it. ‘Anyway, I’ve read your references and everything, and there’s no problem there. You’re more than qualified for this post from what I’ve seen so far.’
‘But?’ Catherine paused in the act of popping another sliver of omelette into her mouth when she caught the reservation in his voice.
‘Not really a but.’ He smiled reassuringly. ‘I just find it odd that someone with your talent hasn’t found a permanent position. You’ve worked in…what? Five different practices since you qualified?’
‘Six, actually, if you count where I did my GP rotation.’
She pushed the plate away, wanting to concentrate on the reason why she was there rather than allowing herself to be sidetracked. ‘I suppose it does seem strange from your point of view, but I assure you that the reason I haven’t taken a permanent post isn’t because of a lack of offers. On the contrary, every practice I have worked for so far has offered me a job, including my present employer.’
‘But that isn’t what you want? Why not?’
He tipped back in his chair and regarded her thoughtfully. Catherine realised with a little start of surprise that beneath the easygoing manner lay a very astute mind. Matthew Fielding wasn’t a man who would allow anyone to pull the wool over his eyes, but as she had no intention of doing that, it wasn’t a problem.
‘Because I don’t want to work for someone else. My intention has always been to set up my own practice.’ She shrugged but her brown eyes were steady when they met his. ‘That’s why I only ever accept jobs which will further my experience and why I never stay in them longer than a year. Each post I’ve had has been simply a stepping-stone towards my ultimate goal.’
‘And working here at Brookdale Surgery will be another of those stepping-stones? Is that what you are saying?’
He sounded amused by the idea and Catherine smiled although she didn’t share his amusement. Didn’t he realise how serious she was about this and how much time and effort she had put into bringing her plans to fruition?
‘Yes. That’s right. The experience I gain here will be invaluable when I open my own practice,’ she explained calmly.
‘And what if I offered you a permanent post once your contract is up? Is there anything that would make you change your mind—the offer of a partnership, for instance?’
She shook her head. ‘No. I know exactly what I want, Dr Fielding, and there is no way that I would give up everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve.’
‘Then you are a very unusual woman, Catherine. Even more unusual if you can stick to your plans.’
His smile was so wry that it made Catherine wonder what was behind it before she cut short that thought. She wasn’t interested in Matthew as a man but as someone she would be working with. What may or may not have coloured his life in the past didn’t concern her, just as her past didn’t concern him. They would keep things on a strictly business footing…
‘Daddy, you pwomised you’d read me a storwy tonight.’
Catherine looked round when she heard a childish voice and saw a little girl standing in the doorway. She gave Catherine a shy smile as she came into the room and went to stand beside Matthew’s chair. She looked very like Matthew with her tumble of sandy blonde curls and deep blue eyes. She was obviously ready for bed, dressed in cosy towelling pyjamas with a ragged old teddy bear clutched in one hand and a well-thumbed book in the other. She gave Catherine a considering look as Matthew put his arm around her.
‘I’m Hannah. Who are you?’
‘Catherine Lewis.’ Catherine smiled although she felt a bit out of her depth. She wasn’t used to children except in a professional capacity and wasn’t sure what else she should say. However, Hannah had none of her inhibitions, it appeared.
Hannah held out the book she was holding. ‘This is my favourite book. Daddy said that he would read it to me but you can do it if he’s too busy.’
‘Oh…I…um…’ Catherine struggled to find an appropriate reply and was saved from having to think one up by Matthew’s laughter.
‘Oh, no, you don’t, you little horror!’ He wrapped his arms around the child and hugged her. ‘I know what you’re up to. Trying to trick poor Catherine into spending the next hour reading to you. You know what the punishment is for that sort of skulduggery!’
‘No…Ooh!’ Hannah squealed with gleeful laughter when Matthew buzzed her cheek with his chin. ‘You’re all pwickly, Daddy!’
‘That’s because I need a shave.’ He swept the child into his arms and stood up. Hannah wound her arms around his neck and planted a noisy kiss on his cheek.
‘I don’t really mind if you’re all pwickly. I love you anyway.’
It was said with typical childish simplicity yet Catherine felt her eyes fill with sudden tears. She stood up abruptly, using the few seconds it took to push back her chair to gather her composure. She wasn’t sure why she’d been so touched to hear Hannah say that. Maybe it was because there was no one in the world who would say the same to her.
The thought was oddly disquieting but, then, the whole evening had been unsettling. All of a sudden, she found herself wondering if this really was the right job for her. Oh, the surgery was located in the perfect area and the experience she would gain here would be invaluable, but what would be the cost to her personally of working here?
It was another unanswerable question, another uncertainty, and she didn’t deal in uncertainties. Her life was structured, planned, assured. That was the way she liked it and how she intended it to continue. She was just debating how to tell Matthew that she wouldn’t be taking the job when a woman appeared.
‘There you are, Hannah! I wondered where you’d got to.’ She turned to Matthew with a rueful smile. ‘I’m sorry, darling. I was trying to keep her out of your way because I knew you were busy but she managed to sneak out while I was helping Becky with her homework!’
Matthew laughed. ‘Don’t worry about it, Mum. At least I managed to head her off when she tried to con poor Catherine into reading her a bedtime story.’
The woman turned to Catherine with a chuckle. ‘A lucky escape, my dear. You’d have ended up staying the night if you’d fallen for that ploy. With Hannah one story tends to lead to another ad infinitum!’
Mrs Fielding rolled her eyes. She was very like Matthew, with greying sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She had the same wonderfully warm smile and once again Catherine found herself responding to it.
‘Obviously a lucky escape,’ she replied lightly.
‘Oh, don’t get overly confident.’ Matthew’s expression was wry as he set Hannah on her feet. ‘This little madam has her ways and means of getting what she wants. So be warned, Catherine. If you’re ever working late of an evening and an angelic little face peeps round the door, watch out. She’s after your story-telling prowess!’
He seemed to have taken it for granted that she would be accepting the job. Catherine’s heart sank when she realised how difficult it was going to be to explain that she was no longer interested in it. She certainly didn’t want to go into the whys and wherefores when she wasn’t sure that she could give him an acceptable explanation for turning it down.
She decided to tell him simply that she had changed her mind and leave it at that. After all, she didn’t owe Matthew Fielding an explanation because it was up to her what she did.
After Mrs Fielding had led a reluctant Hannah away, Catherine saw her chance. ‘Dr Fielding, I—’
‘Haven’t I told you to make it Matt?’ He gave a small shake of his head. ‘We don’t stand on ceremony around here, Catherine, as you’ll soon discover—’
He broke off when the telephone rang. Catherine could see that his attention had been distracted but she simply couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer. She steeled herself as she said his name for the first time yet it seemed to flow off her tongue with surprising ease.
‘Matt, I’m afraid I—’
‘Matthew! It’s for you, darling.’
Mrs Fielding’s voice carried clearly along the corridor and Matt sighed as he headed for the door. ‘No rest for the wicked. Sorry, Catherine. I’ll be as quick as I can.’
He disappeared before she could say anything and she heard him hurrying along the passage. She looked round uncertainly, sighing when she saw the half-eaten meal on the table. Poor Matthew seemed doomed to go hungry.
She cut off that thought because it really wasn’t relevant. Whether or not Matthew Fielding ate wasn’t her concern. She went to the door but the corridor was empty. She could hear Matthew’s voice coming from the surgery and decided to head that way. It would be easier to tell him that she wasn’t going to take the job in the surgery rather than in his kitchen because it would help to put things back on a professional footing. All this chatting over omelettes and coffee didn’t do anyone any good!
‘Glenda? Hi, it’s Matt. Sorry to bother you but I’ve just had David Marshall’s carer on the phone. How was he when you saw him last week?’
Catherine paused when she realised that Matthew must have finished his incoming call and was now making one of his own. She didn’t like to interrupt him when it had something to do with a patient. She waited for him to finish, mentally rehearsing what she would say. He was bound to want to know why she didn’t want the job but she would just stick to her guns and refuse to discuss her reasons…
‘Catherine Lewis…that’s right, the one I told you about who had all those wonderful references.’
Catherine hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but she couldn’t help listening when she heard her name mentioned. She smiled when she heard the remark about her references. She was a good doctor and there was no disputing that.
‘How would I sum her up? Well, professionally there’s no doubt that she is absolutely first rate and will be able to handle this job without any trouble at all. As for personally…’ He paused and his tone was reflective when he continued. ‘I suppose the word that springs to mind is vulnerable. Catherine Lewis strikes me as a very vulnerable woman indeed.’
Catherine didn’t hear what else he said. She had stopped listening because her mind had seized on that word and wouldn’t move forward or back. Vulnerable. Was that how Matthew Fielding saw her? Was it true? An hour ago she would have laughed off the suggestion but she couldn’t laugh it off now.
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.