“Nice outfit …”
In the way back of Kim’s closet hung a blue satiny nightgown with matching robe. Kim had never worn it, but tonight she would. Because tonight was a night for lingerie.
The material felt slippery cool and wonderful against her still-heated skin. She pulled on the robe and checked her reflection. Mmm, nice. The color matched her eyes and emphasized her slender figure in all the right places.
“Kim.” A tapping at her door.
Before she could change her mind, she marched to the door and flung it open. He was wearing soft shorts that showed off his powerful thigh muscles and a T-shirt that did the same for his biceps. His hair was wet and tousled, his skin golden, his eyes vividly brown surrounded by dark lashes.
“What’s the occasion?”
“Tonight.”
“Kim.” His voice was low, throaty, that tone that got her so worked up, undoubtedly perfected on dozens of women. She knew what was coming.
“… Can I come in?”
Dear Reader,
If you’re like me, you grew up crushing on the bad boys. Not the really bad boys, not the ones likely to end up on drugs or in jail, but the guys who were cool, funny and charming, a little—or maybe a lot—irresponsible, always dating someone new and always out of reach.
I’ve grown past wanting that fantasy in my life, but I haven’t grown past wanting to explore it in my books. Long Slow Burn features Nathan, on the surface a charming, smooth guy with a few endearing faults that keep him approachable. Underneath he’s a sweet kid with a decade-long passion for a shy older woman who thinks of him as a pesky little brother.
After she sees him half-naked, Kim is shocked to realize he’s no longer sixteen, and it’s not long before Nathan has turned not only her head, but her heart as well.
Don’t forget to visit my website at www.IsabelSharpe.com.
Cheers!
Isabel Sharpe
ISABEL SHARPE was not born pen in hand like so many of her fellow writers. After she quit work to stay home with her first-born son and nearly went out of her mind, she started writing. After more than twenty novels—along with another son—Isabel is more than happy with her choice these days. She loves hearing from readers. Write to her at www.IsabelSharpe.com.
To Adam Ziles, web designer par excellence, who gave me Kim’s career, and to Jessie Gemmer, future brilliant architect, who gave me Nathan’s. I could not have written this book without their considerable expertise and always-willing, cheerful assistance.
MARIE HEWITT WIPED toast crumbs off her fingers, thinking that plain toast with jelly was a depressing thing to have for breakfast at any time, but when there was a plate in the middle of the table loaded with doughnuts, Danish and a particularly appetizing raspberry cream-cheese coffee cake, plain toast with jelly was like time in prison. Sometimes Marie thought she should make friends with her hips, call them voluptuous, and be done with it.
She looked enviously around the table at her skinny companions chowing down on fatty pastry that would have absolutely no effect on their figures. Kim Charlotte Horton, Darcy Clark and Candy Graham had joined her table, as usual, in the seventh floor meeting room at Milwaukee’s Pfister Hotel for the March gathering of Women in Power, an association of female business owners.
“So who has news this month?” She turned to her right, where Candy was biting reverently into a crumbly blueberry muffin. Candy’s transformation had been astonishing over the past month. Gone was the long-suffering martyr, pining for her horrible ex-boyfriend. Finding true love had made her glow like she was radioactive. “How’s the party-planning business going?”
“Ten to one it’s been taken over by the wedding-planning business.” Dark, beautiful Darcy smirked across the table, playing her familiar cynical-about-love role.
Candy didn’t blink. By now they all knew Darcy’s bark might sound nasty but there was no bite. “Justin and I are having a fall wedding, small and informal. We’d rather spend our money on a Paris honeymoon.”
“Oh, wow.” To Marie’s left, Kim’s tired blue eyes had turned starry at the mere mention.
“Paris. You lucky dog.” Even Darcy looked wistful.
Marie couldn’t help feeling smug. She’d drag Kim and Darcy into true love, too—Darcy kicking and screaming until she admitted how much she wanted it. As the founder of Milwaukeedates.com, the city’s premier—if she did say so herself—online dating service, Marie had made a New Year’s resolution to match up her three closest friends from Women in Power. She’d been able to cross Candy off last month after she and Justin Case got engaged on Valentine’s Day. Kim was up next; her thirtieth birthday was next month, April fifteenth, and Marie was determined she’d have something to celebrate. A surprise party, which she and Candy needed to get busy planning, and with any luck, a romance, too.
Then would come Darcy, the real matchmaker’s challenge. “Darcy, how is Gladiolas doing?”
Darcy made a face that couldn’t conceal her pride. “Milwaukee’s restaurant scene is getting more crowded and competitive, but we’re hanging in there.”
Candy snorted. “Justin and I tried to get in last weekend. Not only were there no reservations available, but a crowd was waiting. I’d say you’re doing more than hanging in there.”
“I don’t take anything for granted. Restaurants spring up and die like weeds. If I could stand doing anything else, I would.” Darcy shrugged and hoisted her coffee. “I’d rather hear about Kim and her proposal for the new Carter International website. How’s that going, Kim?”
“Okay. Not great.” Kim smiled bravely. She’d been working her butt off at her solo company, Charlotte’s Web Design, for the past five years and hadn’t yet gotten where she wanted to be. Kim was looking at this bid to design a new website for the crystal and china megacompany as her last chance before giving up her entrepreneurial dream. “I’ve had some ideas but nothing amazing yet. Carter is marketing this new line, Carter2, at a younger, more casual crowd, so I have to incorporate a funkier feel into their existing upscale image. So far it’s not working.”
“You’ll get this!” Candy smacked the table determinedly. “You are so talented. They have to hire you.”
“Thanks, Candy.” Kim reached for another doughnut; Marie chewed on a grape and forced herself not to do the same, though the coffee cake was still calling her name. She’d think skinny hips. She’d think toast.
“How’s the new roommate working out?” Darcy asked.
“It’s been … interesting.” Kim bit into the doughnut.
“In what way?”
“Well.” Kim washed her bite down with orange juice. “He’s a guy.”
The table erupted into laughter.
“Say no more.” Darcy rolled her eyes, a smile still on her face. “Toilet seat up, toothpaste cap left off, dishes piling up in his bedroom.”
“Oh, you’ve lived with him, too?” Kim kept her gaze deliberately innocent while the rest of the table cracked up again. “Nathan is okay. He’s my brother’s age, three years younger than me, but it sure seems like more.”
“Men mature more slowly.” Darcy quirked a dark eyebrow. “They’re generally not done until about age forty-five.”
Quinn’s age. Marie shook herself. She needed to stop thinking about her friend Quinn Peters, who looked like George Clooney and acted like Don Juan. Though at least he wasn’t fattening.
“Is Nathan cute?” Candy cut off a small piece of Danish and put it on her plate.
“Yes, but …” Kim wrinkled her nose. “He’s one of those guys who had so much fun partying in college he never stopped. He and my brother still spend too much time drinking and trying to score.”
“Oh, that type.” Darcy grimaced. “Men with the depth of a toddler pool. Keep your distance.”
“Trust me, that won’t be a problem.” Kim ate the last bite of doughnut with obvious enjoyment. Marie forced herself to look away, then found herself gazing at the cake again and had to turn away from that, too. Damn toast. How about curvaceous hips?
“What does Nathan do again?” Candy asked.
“He finished the course work for a master’s in architecture at UW Milwaukee, but can’t make himself finish his thesis project. He’s surviving on odd jobs, barista in the morning at Alterra, bartender in the evening at the Hi Hat, delaying real life as long as possible is my guess.” She shrugged. “I put up with him as a favor to Kent. And his help with the rent.”
“I say we toast new beginnings for Kim.” Marie lifted her coffee, wishing she hadn’t just said “toast.”
“Here’s to you getting the Carter job.”
“Hear, hear.” Darcy and the others raised their cups.
“And …” Marie smiled at Kim. “I’ve been thinking about another new beginning for you, not lucrative, but a lot more fun.”
Kim stopped wiping sugar off her fingers. “What do you mean?”
“Ha!” Candy started laughing. “I know that look, Marie. You turned it on me in January.”
“And look what happened to her. Trapped. Chained. Ruined.” Darcy shook her head in mock despair.
Marie winked at Candy. “Kim, you set your thirtieth birthday as your deadline for Charlotte’s Web sinking or swimming. I’m thinking it’s also a good milestone for finding a man.”
“Oh.” Kim straightened in her chair. “Well, actually I’m thinking—”
“I’d be thinking run if I were you,” Darcy said.
“She’s not you.” Candy grasped Kim’s forearm. “Go see Marie, she’s amazing. Dating is just what you need to jazz up life. I had a blast, and of course, I found Justin.”
“And got your very own engagement ring stuck in a pizza.” Darcy snorted.
Candy’s smile only got wider. “Right then pizza was as good as black velvet to me. You think you want everything a certain way, but when the guy is right, none of the showy stuff matters at all.”
“Very true.” Marie beamed proudly at Candy. “You have learned well, Grasshopper.”
The women burst into giggles. Even Darcy.
“So what do you think, Kim? Come see me?” Marie pulled out her iPhone and called up the calendar. “I even have someone in mind for you.”
Kim looked taken aback. “Oh, well, I’m—”
“Ooh, tell us about him.” Candy leaned forward eagerly.
“Troy Cahill. Sound familiar?”
“Oh! Yes! Perfect!” Candy all but bounced in her seat. “Oh gosh, this is so great. He’s Justin’s best friend and his coauthor on the interactive computer manual. We can go on double dates and—”
“Down, girl.” Darcy playfully restrained her. “The sparkles from that diamond have gone to your head.”
“No, seriously.” Candy shook her fingers as if they were burning. “And he is sooo hot.”
Kim laughed, her blush making her eyes brighter. Shyness might make Kim easy to overlook at first, but her smile or the occasional glint of mischief in her eyes gradually made the blond girl-next-door beauty more obvious, as well as her strength. “I was already thinking I’d—”
“Friday, Kim?” Marie smiled approvingly at the blush. The timing was right. “Morning?”
“Yes! Friday!” Kim threw up her hands. “I’ve been trying to tell you all that I have been thinking about dating. Because of my birthday, and then after seeing Candy so happy. Nine-thirty?”
“Nine-thirty, Friday.” Marie chuckled, entering the appointment into her iPhone. She had picked out Troy for Kim initially, but another profile had also caught her eye, a recent sign-up, Dale Swallow. Unfortunate name, but an interesting guy. She could see him being good for Kim, helping challenge her with new experiences to grow her confidence. There was more to Kim under that reserve and shyness, and Marie had a feeling the right man could get at it. Besides, Marie wasn’t sure Troy had made enough of an effort yet to get over his old girlfriend.
Either way, Kim was coming to see her without having put up a fight, and Marie could find her the happiness she deserved. This was going to be a piece of cake.
Piece of cake. Mmm.
She gave in and lifted a slice of coffee cake onto her plate.
Goodbye toast. Hello womanly hips.
“HI, YOU MUST BE KIM.“ Marie’s red-haired receptionist extended her hand for a shake. “I’m Jane.”
“Hi, Jane.” Kim smiled politely, refraining from pointing out that they’d met a couple of times before. The first time when Marie moved into these offices, and Kim, Candy and Darcy had brought over flowers and champagne for an impromptu celebration. Then two weeks ago, when Kim had come by to pick up Marie for lunch. “Think it will ever be spring?”
“According to the calendar next week. But given that it’s Wisconsin …” She gestured to the counter across from her desk. “Help yourself to coffee, tea or hot chocolate. Is it snowing?”
“Not accumulating, but it’s coming down, yes.”
“Enough to foul up traffic and remind us it’s still winter.” Jane rolled her eyes, blue behind narrow black glasses. “Marie is finishing up with someone. She’ll be done soon.”
“That’s fine. I’m early.” Kim poured a cup of coffee she didn’t need, since Nathan kept their apartment stocked with fresh-roasted beans from Alterra, and splashed in some milk. She was early because she’d been pacing nervously around her apartment all morning, too keyed up to get work done and not in the mood for anything else. Finally she’d figured it was better just to get going, drive slowly and hope for delaying traffic, which the snow had made possible.
Kim had been thinking about trying online dating for a while. She’d delayed, waiting for the perfect time, hoping Charlotte’s Web would take off so she could come into a relationship from a position of confidence and financial security. However, with her thirtieth birthday looming, she realized a lot of years had gone by without a “perfect time,” and that if she won the Carter bid and was no longer constantly teetering on the brink of insolvency, she might be too busy to date. Marie pressing her for an appointment now had clinched it.
“You can go in.” Jane pointed back toward Marie’s office, from which a younger woman had just emerged. “Marie’s got a treat for you.”
“A treat?”
Jane waggled her brows. “One of our new listings. Adorable.”
“Oh.” Kim laughed uncomfortably, ducking her head when the woman Marie had been meeting with passed behind her. Being here made her feel exposed, as if she was announcing to the world that she couldn’t get dates the normal way. Whatever normal was these days. Probably being here. She moved toward Marie’s office, wanting away from Jane’s black-framed stare. “Thanks, Jane.”
“Nice to meet you finally.”
“Right.” She pushed into Marie’s office. So flattering when people forgot they ever laid eyes on you. “Hey, Marie.”
“Kim, how are you? Come on in.” She beckoned warmly, elegant as always in a black pantsuit with cream accents and tasteful gold jewelry.
“Thanks.” Kim stepped into the cozy office, decorated more like someone’s favorite room than a place of business. Shelves lined two walls, with books, decorative pottery pieces and plants set at attractive intervals. Trust Marie to keep clients relaxed and comfortable in whatever way she could. “You’ve done fabulous things with this room.”
“That’s right, it was completely bare when you were in here before.” Marie waved her toward one of the overstuffed chairs in front of her desk, and took the other one. “Have a seat, make yourself comfortable. I see you got coffee already.”
“Not that I need to be any more jittery.” She perched on the chair’s edge, mug in one hand, Milwaukeedates.com paperwork clutched in the other.
“Trust me, everyone is nervous doing this. What did you think of the forms? Have any trouble?”
“Not really.” She held them out to Marie. “I’m not into the whole self-pimping thing, but I did my best.”
“Self-pimping? Interesting choice of words.” Marie took the papers, glancing over at Kim before she read them. “I’ll start with your description of yourself, then we’ll talk about the guy you’d like to meet. Okay with you?”
“Sounds good.”
Marie read while Kim got fidgety, sipped coffee, decided she didn’t need more caffeine, held the cup down in her lap, got fidgety, sipped more coffee …
“Okay.” Marie shifted position, frowning slightly. “Your profile. You’ve described yourself well here….”
“But?”
“But.” Marie put the papers down and met her eyes. “You make yourself sound a little dull.”
“I am a little dull.” She held up her hand when Marie started protesting. “I don’t wear makeup, I don’t own sexy clothes, I rarely go out. Men who want that whole hot party-girl thing aren’t going to want to waste time on a date with me.”
“Most men only want that kind of woman in fantasy.” Marie leaned forward earnestly. “Here they ask for honest women, loyal women, women with brains and with a sense of humor. You’ve got all that, but you make it sound as if you have nothing to offer. ‘I stay home most of the time. I don’t like crowds or noise.’”
Kim shrugged. “I want to be honest about who I am.”
“Understood.” Marie held up the page and shook it vigorously. “But this is maybe half of who you are.”
Kim tried to keep from bristling, without much luck. “How would you change it? With some dating euphemism? Like when Realtors say ‘cozy and quaint’ and mean ‘cramped and dingy,’ instead of ‘shy’ I should say I’m ‘serene’ or I have ‘hidden passion'?”
Marie dimpled a too-innocent smile. “Why, that’s exactly what I was going to suggest. ‘Hi, I’m Kim. Serene with hidden passion.’”
Kim’s cranky outrage wilted into laughter. “Ew.”
“We’ll move on for now. Tell me about your past relationships. The main ones. What the men were like, what happened, etc.”
Ugh.Kim wiggled farther back into the chair. “Well, let’s see. First boyfriend, Sam, in high school. Geek like me, quiet, we both had horrible skin and a love for all things computer. That lasted three years. We broke up when we went to college.”
“Because …”
“Our relationship had gotten too predictable and we both wanted to grow.”
“Understandable. Were you sexually involved?”
“Yeah.” Kim blushed. “Or something like it. High school, you know.”
“I do. Who came next?”
“Josh, in college. We dated for a year, then he ended it. He was a physics and philosophy double major and didn’t have time for a girlfriend.”
“Ouch.” Marie grimaced sympathetically. “Nice when you come first, huh?”
“Yeah, it didn’t feel great.” Kim adjusted the hem of her sweater, wanting to change the subject, but knowing Marie wouldn’t let her off the hook. “I survived.”
“After that?”
“Oh, well …” She took a sip of coffee that suddenly tasted bitter.
“Hmm.” Marie narrowed her eyes. “Something not so great.”
“Tony.” Kim let her head drop back against the chair. “Big, handsome jock, the kind of guy I’d get a crush on but never thought would be into me.”
Marie lifted her eyebrows. “I’m not surprised he was.”
“Yeah, well, I was suspicious, but he kept coming around.” She put her mug on Marie’s desk. “He was charming, persistent and surprisingly interesting to talk to. I got sucked in, started dressing better and wearing makeup. I went on meds to clear up my face. I looked good and felt great, and thought, Oh boy, the birth of New Kim! I loved the attention, not only from him, but from his friends. Seemed like wherever we went, they were watching me. I thought I was hot stuff.”
“You are.” Marie held up Kim’s profile again. “You’re selling yourself way short here. You should be—”
“Wait.” Kim shook her head, throat tightening. “Let me finish. I finally trusted him enough to let him in, to care about him. One night after he’d taken me to some horrible, loud party where I drank too much to be able to stand it, we went back to his place. He lived off campus, and his roommate wasn’t there. We had sex all over the apartment all night long. Incredible sex, I-didn’t-know-it-could-be-like-that sex.”
Marie’s frown crept back. She obviously couldn’t figure Tony out any better than Kim had been able to. “And this was bad how?”
“Turned out he had a bet with his friends that I’d be better in bed than I looked. Apparently he considered himself an expert at being able to tell which geeky girls were hot in the sack.”
“Ah.” Marie’s lips tightened. “I can see why you’re not keen on the phrase ‘hidden passion.’”
“Then it got worse.”
“Oh, Kim.”
“Since he won the bet, he had to beat his chest all over campus.” Kim screwed her eyes shut. “I had guys lining up to ask me out for weeks after, thinking they’d get what he got. I’m sure it never occurred to them I’d actually started to like the pig and that’s why I slept with him.”
“I’m sorry.”
Kim opened her eyes, hating the quaver in her voice the story could still bring on. “I got over it. Mostly. But now I avoid any guy who seems more concerned with what a woman represents than who she is. That whole ‘score at any cost’ mentality.”
“Your brother and new roommate.”
“Bingo.” She pointed emphatically at Marie. “Kent probably inherited his roving dick from Dad, who constantly cheated on Mom until he left her. I know there are better men out there. I just want to make sure I get the right kind. So if I sound boring on my profile, and my picture is plain, tough. I don’t want to attract another shallow jerk. I want someone to love me for me—no makeup, happy in a quiet life at home, geeking out with my computer.”
She finished, a little out of breath, and waited for a reaction. Marie sat quietly, watching her as if she was trying to make up her mind about something.
“Okay.” Marie got up with her usual grace and went around behind her desk. “I get what you’re saying. I had two men picked out for you before this meeting. I still want to show them to you, and I want you to look with an open mind. If you’re not interested, you can go online and choose whatever profiles you want. Just bear in mind that sometimes when we feel fear or aversion, it’s not necessarily good instinct talking. It can be habit or baggage instead. Very hard to tell the two apart. Deal?”
Kim reached for her mug, fingered the textured porcelain and then took a sip. She’d only have to look. Nothing more unless it felt right. “Okay. I’ll check them out.”
“Good.” Marie tapped a few letters on the keyboard. “Here.”
Kim got up stiffly; she must have been tensing her body ridiculously tight. Not many people had heard the story of Kim and Tony, at least not from her. Since college she’d told only Kent, trying to make him understand why she hated the way he and his friends talked about and treated women, but he’d just insisted she didn’t understand.
Yeah, no kidding.
“This is Troy.”
Kim found herself looking into a pair of the deepest, darkest eyes she’d ever seen, jumping off the screen under a strong forehead and tousled dark curls. Handsome. Very. Wearing a Green Day T-shirt over broad, developed shoulders.
Immediate panic kicked in. She didn’t want to go out with him. “He’s nice looking. Sexy.”
“He was adorable when we met. Gentle and very sweet. Smart, too. Works in IT, so you have computers in common. He owns a house in Whitefish Bay not far from the lake and lives there with his dog, Dylan. Solid career, and he’s writing a book with Candy’s fiancé, Justin, so they can vouch for him, too. I think he’s worth giving a try.”
Kim tilted her head noncommittally, sick with nerves. “Take your time, Kim. This is not a speed test. You can stare at him to your heart’s content in the privacy of your own home or ignore him completely. It’s up to you. You have all the power in this situation.” Marie tapped a few more keys and Troy’s midnight brooding eyes disappeared. Kim felt immediate relief. “Here’s the other man I thought might interest you. His name is Dale.”
“Dale.” She stared at the ordinary face filling the screen, and the pang of relief turned into a buzz of excitement. Light brown hair in a basic short cut, brown eyes behind chic frameless glasses that made him look professor-smart. He wore a dark suit that sat well on his shoulders—all she could see of him. His expression was serious, but not grim. His eyes looked kind, and his lips quirked as if he was about to smile.
“He works for Johnson Controls as a consultant. Does a lot of traveling, all over the world. He’s charming, educated, well-read, into yoga, skiing, sailing. Very interesting to talk to. I liked him.”
“Skiing? Sailing?” She snorted. “Not really my speed.”
“Honey, you’re twenty-nine. You can’t possibly have figured out everything about how you fit into the world. Maybe when you’re ninety, but even then I’d have my doubts.”
Marie had a point. Kim gazed into the warm brown eyes on the monitor. Something about this guy …
“Think about it. I can set up dates with both of them if you want, and if they want.”
Kim imagined herself sitting across the table from Troy even for an hour. She wasn’t sure she could do it. That handsome face would completely disconcert her. She’d babble, stutter and spill drinks.
“Kim.” Marie’s hand was comforting on her arm. “I know this is pushing you out of your comfort zone. Putting yourself out there is very hard. For you and for every single person that comes through that door, and if it’s not, there’s something wrong. Troy and Dale may not be the guys you pictured when you thought about signing up, but you don’t have to marry either one of them. You don’t even have to do more than look, exchange an email or have a quick cup of coffee.”
“True.” She wished that made her feel safer.
“It’s a place to start. When you left your full-time job at Soka Associates five years ago to start Charlotte’s Web Design, you took an enormous leap of faith, much bigger than going on an experimental date.” She gave Kim’s arm a squeeze. “This will be easy in comparison.”
Kim nodded, experiencing a jumble of mixed reactions: fear, excitement, pride and an overriding desire to run home and hide in bed. But if she always gave in to fear she’d still be miserable at Soka. Still be dating Sam. Still the same old pimply, dowdy Kim.
Marie tapped a few more keys; Dale’s face disappeared from the monitor but lingered in Kim’s brain for a few pleasant seconds before Troy’s dark eyes and lean features supplanted his.
Kim had come a long way. What hadn’t killed her had made her stronger, and there was no reason she couldn’t continue to change and grow, as Marie said, even if, God forbid, Charlotte’s Web failed. She wanted a relationship, and she’d lose nothing by meeting with these two. Call it practice, if that made the hours easier to cope with. And if she babbled and stuttered and spilled, so be it. No animals or small children would be harmed in the having of these dates.
“I’ll do it.” She spoke impulsively, started to take the words back, and found she couldn’t, because she didn’t want to take anything back; from now on she wanted to take everything forward.
“Both of them?”
Kim nodded firmly, her face flushed. “Both of them. I’m ready.”
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.