Wicked, wicked thoughts raced through his mind.
Bill stared at Ellie, trying not to think how drop-dead sexy that fishnet cover thing was over her red bikini. Very teasing. Very exciting. She was all grown-up and hot and sexy in that get-up. Enough to make a man howl at the moon.
“What’re you thinking about?” she asked.
With another woman, that question would have stopped him cold. But with Ellie…well, it was different. He was tempted to detail his lusty thoughts to see if she was as keen to get busy as he was.
“Something about you, Ellie,” he said instead.
The heat from the sun poured down on them. But it had nothing on the sizzle between them. Her expression encouraged him, told him to go for it, to seduce her into indulging in the kind of no-regrets wickedness dominating his mind.
With that kind of invitation, who was he to refuse?
COLLEEN COLLINS
Deep into the writing, while Colleen Collins was weaving threads of glam-rock and glam-goth into the story, she heard in an old Lou Reed song the name of someone she once knew – Jackie in “Walk on the Wild Side.” Jackie Curtis had been her neighbour back in Hollywood, and they used to talk about life and writing and what they wanted to be someday. He was so low-key and easygoing and funny, she had no idea he’d been one of Andy Warhol’s superstars until someone told her. And she didn’t know he was in “Walk on the Wild Side” until she wrote this book. A tip of the hat to you, Jackie, all these years later.
Dear Reader,
I had a challenge with this book – to develop a glam-goth character who’s made over into a Malibu beach babe. The latter I understood, having grown up in sunny Southern California and spent time frolicking on its beaches. It was a summer ritual during high school for a bunch of us to rent beach houses (with a few brave-hearted teachers as chaperones) and “hang” in bikinis for a week of flirting, swimming and catching some rays.
But glam-goth? I was clueless. I did research on YouTube watching Marilyn Manson and Siouxsie Sioux videos, watched an entire series on Lou Reed, read up on glam-goth makeup and clothes, but it all felt too remote, too distant. Then I found GiGi-D L’Amour, a glam-goth diva extraordinaire, artist and disc jockey who took me under her gothic wing and patiently answered my many questions. Thank you, GiGi!
Also, big thank-yous to two of my favourite authors and good friends, Dawn Atkins and Cindi Myers. Dawn and Cindi are not only talented, but fun to work with! A big thank-you to my editor, Wanda Ottewell, whose guidance and good humour always keep me on track, and to Shaun Kaufman, who diligently read all six story drafts – including the wrong one I gave him accidentally.
So get ready to read about a glam-goth chick in a beach-babe world as she not only experiences a few shock waves, but starts a few of her own…
Happy reading!
Colleen Collins
PS Check out my upcoming books at www. colleencollins.net.
BY
COLLEEN COLLINS
To GiGi-D L’Amour, who graciously shared her glam-goth world so I could better develop Shock Waves’ heroine, Ellie. Any inaccuracies are the author’s, not GiGi’s.
1
COME JOIN the hot, hot, hot Sin on the Beach festival! That’s right, beach babes and beach dudes, we’re talking hot games, hot competitions, hot bodies to help us kick off the second-season launch of the hottest TV show this season!
Twenty-nine-year-old Ellie Rockwell—glam goth girl, coffee shop owner and serious Lou Reed fan—read the announcement on the kiosk again, certain she was suffering from heatstroke. Or having a heart attack. Or both. Hardly what a woman on her first vacation in five years should be having.
“Sin on the Beach,” she murmured, glancing over at the people setting up booths and tents along this stretch of Malibu Beach. It was one thing to read about this festival at her coffee shop, Dark Gothic Roast, located twenty miles inland in fast-paced, hyperstressed Los Angeles, quite another to be standing on the very sand where the TV show was filmed.
Everybody and anybody knew better than to call Ellie on Thursday nights between 9:00 and 10:00 p.m. when Sin on the Beach aired. She got teased a lot for loving this show, as though goths were narrow-minded enough not to like anything that wasn’t black and morbid and reeking of Edgar Allan Poe. Okay, she could do without all the sunshine and tanned bodies on the show, but she dug the buffed actors in Speedos. Especially when they starred in the occasional mystery story line full of shadows and danger. Plus, the night scenes were to die for—moonlight gilding the water, the ocean spilling its secrets and the occasional body onto the shore, the rhythmic tumble of distant, dark waves.
She continued reading. The festival promised games such as Truth or Bare and Hot Shot Photo Scavenger Hunt, surfing competitions, limbo contests, something called Good Vibrations. Even nearby bars were getting into the festival mood by holding karaoke sin-alongs, and…
Her heart stilled.
What was this?
She leaned forward, clutching her black silk top while reading the fine print at the bottom of the poster.
Hey, you! Want to be an extra on Sin on the Beach and earn beaucoup festival points doing so? Then come to the open audition the first morning of the festival! If you’re 18-30, act wicked, dress cool and have a rockin’bod, meet here on Tuesday, August 15, 7:00 a.m. sharp. Be hot, be sinful, be ready!
For a wild, giddy moment, Ellie imagined herself as an extra on Sin on the Beach, looking killer in a black bikini, cavorting in the waves, maybe being the one who found the dead body in a mystery plot and getting to rip loose a bloodcurdling scream. How groovy would that be?
She scanned the ad again. Wicked, dress cool and have a rockin’ bod…
Her short black hair was wickedly spiked, but she seriously doubted that’s the kind of wicked they had in mind. Dress cool? Unless they were into the Mistress of the Dark look, she doubted they’d use that word for her wardrobe, most of it custom-designed by yours truly. Although, lifting everything from cappuccino machines to bags of coffee beans kept her in shape, so humility aside, she could probably pull off the rockin’ body.
Wicked. Cool. Rockin’.
She blew out a sigh.
One out of three wouldn’t cut it.
Just as well. She expected to hear any day that her business loan had been approved, which meant starting next week she’d begin the expansion of Dark Gothic Roast into the remodeled former warehouse in East L.A. The space was so large, she’d decided to try selling her clothes designs in one of the commercial spaces while overseeing the rental of the others. The enormity of her plans excited and scared the crap out of her. Rather than fret and worry until she got the news, she’d opted to adopt the pragmatic “what happens, happens” attitude.
Until then, she’d chill, do her caretaking thing. Which meant she needed to ensure her brother, Matt, crossed paths as often as possible with her friend Candy and encourage her other friend Sara to occasionally pry herself off her laptop.
Speaking of which, time to call the mother ship and see how things were going. She flipped open her cell phone and punched in the speed-dial for Sara.
“Hello?”
“It’s El. Expecting it was your uncle calling again, hmm? Everything going okay?” She nudged her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose. “Hey, guess who’s looking for hot-bodied extras?”
“Johnny Depp?”
“I wish. Seriously, Sin on the Beach.”
“Cool!”
“Yeah, remember that festival we read about? Well, Sin is holding an open audition for extras. Better yet, everybody who gets hired also wins a scad of festival points.”
“Ellie Rockwell, I see your name in lights.”
“I’m not wicked and cool enough,” she muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing. Hey, I’ll bring one of these flyers back to the house. There are all kind of games and competitions.” And she knew just the people to sign up, too—Matt and Candy.
“Gotta go,” Sara suddenly said. “Someone’s waiting.”
“Tell your Uncle Spence it’s your first day on vacation! Girlfriend, you deserve a day off.”
“Yeah, like you ever close Dark Gothic Roast. Anyway, it’s not Uncle Spence.”
“Who is it?”
Pause. “Ellie, your goal is to matchmake Candy, not me.”
A pause could only mean one thing….
“Sara Montgomery, you wanton mortgage broker you. You landed a guy! While sitting alone at the beach house! You rule.”
Sara laughed and signed off.
Ellie shook her head. And here she’d been pondering how to help Sara relax, have some fun. Appeared Sara was a lot more resourceful than Ellie had given her credit for.
She started to slip her cell into her shorts’ pocket, hesitated, then punched in the speed-dial for Dark Gothic Roast. Overhead, seagulls squawked and circled as a little boy tossed pieces of bread from a bag. Nearby, construction workers hammered, drilled, called out to each other as they worked on the festival site.
“Dark Gothic Roast,” answered a female voice.
“Hey!” yelled a male voice. “That your Benz?”
Ellie looked around. “Tish, El. How’s it going?”
A groan. “Kiefer called in sick and I ended up handling the morning rush by myself.”
“Hey,” boomed the male voice again. “I’m talking to you. Miss Spiky Black Hair.”
As if that left any doubt who he meant. As Tish droned on about the espresso machine making a “funny sound,” Ellie scanned the area. None of the construction workers seemed interested in her. Nor did the nearby jocks tossing a Frisbee.
Wait.
There.
The guy in the Hawaiian shirt, unbuttoned to reveal a buffed, brown and extremely hairy chest, was staring directly at her.
“It sounds kind of like keee-keee klunk,” continued Tish, “and it only does it if I’m steaming milk longer than twenty seconds….”
Ellie stared at the man. Something about him looked familiar.
“I suppose I could stop steaming sooner,” said Tish, “but then there’d be no froth and you know how some customers would get if their lattes were flat….”
The man smiled, and Ellie’s heart ratcheted in her chest.
Only one man in the world had a smile like that.
Impossible…and yet…it was him.
Bill Romero.
He was older—seventeen years to be exact—bigger and hotter than the boy she remembered. The rough-around-the-edges guy had morphed into a body like The Rock, with the too-cool aura of a Lenny Kravitz. He leaned against a palm tree, the breezes billowing open his shirt whose bright yellow flowers looked like pats of melting butter on his choca-mocha-latte skin.
“El, what should I do about the espresso machine?”
Ellie cleared her suddenly parched throat. “Turn up the steam,” she rasped before terminating the call.
“That your Benz?” he called out again.
Ah, the voice. It hadn’t really changed. That deep, rumbling tone and clipped rhythm, so familiar it made her insides squeeze. How many nights had she lain in her childhood bed, her window open on the off chance she’d overhear Bill talking with a pal or family member. The summer she turned twelve, when he was eighteen, she must have written more journals than Anais Nin. Page after page filled with fantasies of her first kiss—her first everything—with him.
“Benz,” he repeated, mistaking her silence for not hearing him clearly. “Over there!” He pointed.
Ellie stared at his raised arm. So big, so brown, two-thirds of it covered with a massive tattoo. She couldn’t really see the details this far away, but could tell it was colorful, bold and elaborate.
Unlike her tattoos, which were hidden, secretive.
Sea breezes brushed and stroked her, making her realize all the areas of her skin that were bare. In the distance, she heard waves crashing, the fading away of a girl’s laughter.
Finally remembering to breathe, Ellie looked to where he was pointing. At the far end of the patch of tarmac sat a gleaming silver Mercedes. She had the momentary urge to laugh—did she really look like the kind of woman who drove a Benz? She looked back at him, wondering if, behind those dark shades, his eyes still looked like melted pools of chocolate.
“No,” she called out, her voice breathy, unrecognizable. “Not mine.”
He pushed himself off the palm tree—did his biceps ripple when he moved?—and stared at her. The sun glinted off an earring. That was new, too. And for a crazy moment, she wondered if he remembered her. No, no way. Back then, she’d been freckled and mousy-haired. Hardly the goth chick he was talking to right now.
Besides, they’d only really spoken once, that memorable summer night she’d worked up the nerve to ask if what she’d heard was true, was he was really moving far away? Her girl’s heart had shattered into a million pieces when he’d said yes, he was moving to New York to start film school.
“Just my luck,” he murmured, his voice rippling through the air like a heat wave. “Need it moved, hoped it might be yours.”
She wiped a trickle of sweat off her brow, wishing she could say something, anything, to prolong this encounter. She was a whiz at chatting, did it all the time with her customers. Asked them about their jobs, their kids. Helped them figure out their love problems. But she couldn’t summon one reasonably intelligent thing to ask Bill. Yeah, good ol’ helpful Ellie was resourceful when it came to others’ needs, but a tongue-tied, sweat-laden mass of messed-up hormones when it came to her own.
She took a few halting steps across the sand, imagining how she’d introduce herself. “Hey, remember me? That scrawny kid next door who wore pigtails?” No, skip the scrawny part. “The girl next door who…” loved, adored, idolized you. No, forget that. Although Bill had been a few years older than Matt, he’d probably remember her brother. Yeah, she’d bring up Matt. “Hey, remember me? Matt Rockwell’s kid sister?”
She stopped.
Too late.
Bill was talking to several women, one dressed in Benz-worthy clothes, undoubtedly wicked and cool. And flirting unabashedly with Bill. Jeez, her effusive giggle could be heard over the construction workers’ incessant hammering, even over a low-flying airplane towing a bright blue banner with the words Wolfman Pizza 1-800-555-9844 We’re Howling Good!
And I’ve howlingly lost my chance.
She stopped, stared down at her purple-painted toenails, white legs, black shorts, black silk top. Then back up at the giggling babe with the white short-shorts, long bronzed legs and skimpy pink halter top.
They obviously weren’t talking about the Benz or she’d be moving it.
I’m standing here, looking like a black dot in the middle of the sand. The anti-beach babe. The kind of woman he’d ask to move her car, but nothing more.
With a sinking feeling, Ellie turned and started heading back to the beach house. It was for the best. She needed to see how Candy and Matt were doing. Catch the story about Sara and this mystery male. Follow up with Tish, make sure the espresso machine wasn’t getting the better of her. What had she said it sounded like? Keee-keee klunk?
Funny, that’s exactly how Ellie felt at the moment. As though something inside her had jarred loose and was rattling around. And she knew what that something was. A piece of her past named Bill. And here she was, walking away for a second time from him, just as she had that long-ago summer night when she was twelve.
Seventeen years and hundreds of life changes later, walking away today felt every bit as hard.
THREE HOURS, two Bomb Pops and one Candy-Sara-Ellie girl-talk fest later, Ellie stood in the cosmetics aisle at Walgreens with Sara, perusing the hair color section.
“I can’t believe I agreed to be made over into a beach babe,” muttered Ellie, looking at the boxes of color with names like Bombshell Blond, Golden Sunset and Strawberry Vanilla.
Sara, switching their plastic shopping basket from one hand to the other, snorted a laugh. “Gotta look like one if you want to wow them at the audition tomorrow morning. Plus, if—no, when—you get hired, think of all those points Team Java Mammas will get toward the grand prize!”
Team Java Mammas. The team name she, Candy and Sara had given themselves in their quest to win the festival grand prize, a free beach bungalow rental every summer for the next ten years. “Just wish I could wow them with black spiky hair,” Ellie muttered.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.” Sara scanned the boxes, all decorated with smiling models sporting luxurious, shiny hair in more shades than a color wheel.
For a surreal moment, everything looked too light, too blond, too perfect. Too anti-Ellie. What was she doing here? Not just here at the store, but here at the beach, too! She wasn’t some sixteen-year-old starring in Beach Blanket Babettes—she was a businesswoman turning thirty in a few months! She shouldn’t be here. She should be back at Dark Gothic Roast, getting ready for the big move.
“I don’t know, Sara—” she gestured toward the sea of models’ faces “—I’ll never look like them.”
“Hon, even they don’t look like that. They’ve been airbrushed and streamlined and photo-enhanced down to their very roots.”
It wasn’t the words as much as the lilt in her pal’s voice that shook Ellie out of her funk. She looked at Sara more closely, realizing her telltale lines of stress had all but disappeared. As corny as it sounded, she even had a twinkle in her eye.
And Ellie knew why. She’d just forgotten why’s name.
“What was that surfer hunk’s name?”
“Drew.” The way Sara said his name, it sounded like a piece of delectable candy. “And yours…”
Mine. Oh, man, that was so far from the truth.
“Bill.” Ellie heaved a small sigh. Crazy how just saying his name sent small shivers all over her. And to think she’d just told herself she wasn’t some goofy sixteen-year-old. Truth was, saying his name turned her insides all gooey, like some besotted, crushed-out teenager.
“How long were you two neighbors?”
“Years. I remember first seeing him when I was six, the year my dad left. Bill was twelve, and already a stud-in-the-making.”
“You had a crush on him at six?”
Ellie nodded slowly. “Crazy, huh? I still remember the first time I saw him. He was standing on his porch, staring out at nothing, lost in thought. I thought he looked like a fairy-tale prince. After that, my heart did a sonic boom every time I saw him, right up to the day he moved to New York to go to film school.”
“How old were you when he moved?”
“Twelve.”
“You must have been so sad.”
“Sad? That was the year the movie When Harry Met Sally came out. I saw it at least ten times. I’d sit in the back, drowning my sorrow in popcorn, fantasizing about Bill and how, despite our tumultuous parting, we were destined to be together.” She pointed at the box Sara was holding. “Honey blond, no way.”
“But, El—”
“Too Reese Witherspoon. I need a bad-girl blond color.”
“No, I meant…” Sara hesitated, then set the box back on the shelf. “I was still feeling sad about your childhood heartache.”
Ellie didn’t want to admit some of that sadness had come back today. She couldn’t blame Bill for not recognizing her, but something about his lack of attention had made her feel again like that brokenhearted twelve-year-old.
“So,” said Sara, “what’s a bad-girl blond? The color of Madonna’s hair?”
Ellie felt relieved to be back on topic. “She’s not so bad anymore, is she?”
“Cameron Diaz?”
“Maybe.”
“Jennifer Aniston?”
Elle gave her friend a look. “Girlfriend, you need to unchain yourself more often from that laptop because obviously you have no idea what bad is.”
They laughed.
“El,” Sara said, turning serious, “I know you’re not the type to easily talk about what’s on your heart, but I have to add one thing. Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that you saw Bill today. I bet you’re going to run into him again.”
See Bill again? Ellie didn’t know if her heart, mind or soul could handle it. What had happened this morning was enough to haunt her for months as it was. But no way did she want Sara to know that. Ellie Rockwell was so much better than some ancient crushed-out angst.
She hoped.
“As much as I’ve always wanted to have a real supernatural experience,” she said in her best breezy voice, “I doubt you’ve suddenly turned clairvoyant.”
Before Sara could follow up with something else serious and heartfelt, Ellie pointed toward the end of the aisle. “Hey, down there are some awesome black hair colors.”
Sara made a stopping gesture. “You promised to go blond, and I’m holding you to it. This one—” she grabbed a hair color labeled Lightning Blond “—is perfect. After we wash out your black rinse, this color will give you that Gwen Stefani bad-girl blond you want.”
“Okay, we’re starting to talk bad.”
Grinning, Sara picked up a second container. “Then we’ll add some gold highlights, which will give you that sunny, sparkling beach babe look.”
Ellie looked over at a couple of sunny, sparkling beachettes. The type who’d snagged Bill’s attention today. Here she thought she’d so smoothly avoided further discussion of Bill, but she’d forgotten the nonstop banter in her own head.
One of the beachettes laughed, reminding her of the bimbo Bill had chortled with earlier today. What did those types have that Ellie didn’t? Hell, if she could make herself over into the Mistress of the Dark, she could certainly make herself into a Gidget type, too. Not the sunny, sparkling variety, but definitely a Gidget on the Edge.
“Bad-girl with gold streaks it is,” she said, turning back to Sara. “Sold.”
“That’s my girl! Hey, El, this is fun taking care of you for a change. Oh, look at these yummy pastel lipsticks…”
“Huhhhh.” Blond was one thing, but pastel makeup?
Sara tossed a peachy lipstick into the basket. “I told you I bought several new bikinis for the trip, right? We’re about the same size, so let’s have you try a few on when we get back.”
“What colors are they?” Not pastel, please God.
“Pink, tangerine…oh, and black.”
Ellie’s mood lifted. “Black. Cool.”
“Okay, next—spray-on tan.”
This time Ellie willingly followed her friend to the fake bake aisle, as Sara called it.
Sara held up something called TechnoTan. “What about—”
“Put it in, baby.”
Sara, looking surprised but pleased, added it to the basket. “I won’t spray over your tattoos, but use one of my makeup brushes to paint the skin around them.”
Ellie listened, sort of, but her attention had again been diverted by the beachettes who were giggling in front of the body cream section. It brought back how she’d felt earlier, Miss Black Spiked Hair Can You Move Your Benz, standing in the background, out of place and out of time, wearing her big, broken childhood heart on her sleeve. Okay, so she’d wanted to be better than ancient angst, but the truth was, she wasn’t.
Suddenly, it felt as though all the years of caring and yearning and dreaming about Bill had crowded against her heart, squeezing it, constricting the memories into a throbbing lump of ache. Today, her world had stopped when she’d recognized Bill, but his didn’t even pause. He wasn’t interested in me. And as much as she told herself it didn’t matter, she felt rejected. Unacceptable.
She picked up a box of something and pretended to read, as though focusing on random words might impose logic on her pain. On her heart. But the letters danced and swam, refusing to make sense.
Maybe that’s how she should view the past. Make it blurry, indistinguishable, unimportant. Do what she came to do this week—chill, play matchmaker, audition to be an extra and screw the rest.
“Hey!” enthused Sara, holding up a plastic case. “This will look fantastic with your turquoise eyes. Ghost Silver eye shadow!”
Ghost…exactly how she should view Bill. A ghost from her past, nothing more.
She took the container from Ellie and tossed it into the basket. “Sold.”
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.