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First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2017
Copyright © Sun Chara 2017
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This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Ebook Edition ©June 2017 ISBN:9780008145040
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Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Also by Sun Chara
About the Author
About HarperImpulse
About the Publisher
Unlimited thanks to my wonderful brother, Joseph who is quantum leaps ahead of his time…you are an inspiration!
Greatest gratitude and admiration to all the people (including my brother Joseph) in the medical field for your courage, dedication, and heroic efforts in saving lives! I applaud you!
Peter saw her. And he saw men at the bar ogling her every curve. The waitress scrap-of-nothing she wore accentuated the length and shape of her legs, clad in net stockings. How she managed to walk on stiletto heels was beyond his male comprehension. The flimsy froth of fabric barely covered her bottom and had her breasts nearly spilling from the Grand Canyon neckline, to the delight of every male eye in the smoke-filled room.
He brushed rain-damp hair off his brow, warring with his gut instinct to stride over, sling her across his shoulder, and take her home. Hot blood surged through him and his aorta boxed his chest. Home where she belonged, with him, and in his bed—
The crash of glass jolted him from plunging deeper into the erotic fantasy. Since she’d run out on him, his mind was set on replay … a constant rankling to his Italian pride.
A muscle assaulted his jaw. Her rebellious escapade could bring him down, and her with him. Premeditated or a case of the lamb amidst wolves? His chest constricted. It was time to set the record straight, even the score. Although he had to move fast to snare the coup d’état he was after, he’d do it his way. He inhaled, filling his lungs with needed oxygen and grimaced at the smoke-tainted air in the club. He exhaled and snared her in his narrow focus.
She was floundering to pick up broken glass from the floor. Her admirers were moving in, but in two long strides he was beside her. The spinning strobe light cast a halo around her, making her hair gold and her skin a shimmer of silk. Memories rushed in, taunting, smothering … and he almost changed his mind. Passion and anger raged inside him. Pent-up pressure in his chest sizzled between his teeth and banished the past, but only for the moment.
“Let me help you.” He hunkered down, playing knight gallant, but feeling more like a Neanderthal. His words held a double meaning for this woman, who kept a special place in his heart, his life, and who had spurned his every effort. Why would she have left him otherwise? Without a word, without a backward glance?
The deep timbre of the man’s voice filtered to Ellie through the music and laughter, but she kept her head bent until the embarrassed blush receded from her features. “Thank you.”
He dropped a handful of sharp pieces onto her tray, and the gold cufflink on his white shirt cuff gleamed from beneath the dark sleeve of his jacket. His hand was strong, his fingers long and sensitive, with a smattering of black hair across his knuckles.
She swallowed and glanced up, her heart splitting in two. “Pet-e-r.”
His raised eyebrow spoke volumes.
“What are you doing here?” She held the tray between them like a defense, gripping it so tight her fingers hurt. Her stomach lurched; air whooshed from her lips and every fiber of her being buzzed with life on seeing him again. But with that came a profound sadness.
She turned away from his penetrating blue gaze. His relentless pursuit of his profession had nearly destroyed her and their marriage. She couldn’t go back to him. Wouldn’t.
Not unless he was willing to change … give her what she wanted, what she … they… deserved… a real marriage. Tears stung her eyelids, and she gulped them down with her next breath.
A melody drifted to her, a balm to her frazzled emotions. She’d been stagnating, except in the bedroom. And she wanted to be more to him than a bedroom playmate. In a desperate attempt to reclaim her life, and save her marriage, she had made a rash decision and fled.
She was playing a risky card, especially since he controlled the deck. Could she pull it off? Would he ever see her as more than a possession?
“Better question is” – he dropped a chipped martini glass on her tray, shattering her thoughts – “what’re you doing here, Ellie?”
He reached out to help her up, but she avoided his gesture and stood up on her own. It was doubtful a man like Peter, with a heritage steeped in tradition, would budge, even for her… or her father. Forgiveness was not one of his tendencies.
“Working.” She made to pass him and the broken goblets rattled precariously on the tray.
He blocked her path, his gaze gliding over her half-exposed breasts, then lower, taking in the full length of her. “So I see.”
She drew in a sharp breath. “I don’t like what you’re implying, Peter.”
“What’s that?” he baited.
“That I’m— I’m—”
“Selling favors?”
“How dare you,” she snapped, raising a hand to slap him.
He intercepted it in mid-air, his fingers shackling her wrist. “How dare I?” His face was a thundercloud and his eyes bore into her. “You’re the one who deserted—”
“I did not.”
“No?”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Suppose you tell me how it was, mmm?” This time he did take her elbow and led her toward the neon-lit exit.
“I can’t just leave in the middle of my shift.”
“Wanna bet?” He grabbed the tray from her hands, passed it to a waitress walking by and winked his thanks. Shrugging from his jacket, he draped it across Ellie’s shoulders and guided her through the mass of gyrating bodies.
“Hey, baby doll, how ’bout another number?” Someone called to her.
“Later.” Ellie waved. “Taking a break.”
“Cutest singin’ cocktail—”
“Trot on over, babe.” Raucous laughter.
A man staggered toward her and a camera flashed. Peter swung his arm out and knocked the camera from the snapper, sending it crashing to the floor. Shoving a hand in his pocket, he pulled out a couple of hundred-dollar bills and hurled them on the floor. “That should cover the damages, Louie,” he bit out, his eyes hard.
The loud music had muted the altercation and no one seemed to have noticed, except the three of them.
“What’s going on?” Ellie glared at Peter, then turned to the barrel-shaped man pocketing the cash and scuttling across the floor for his camera.
Taciturn, Peter wove his way through the throng and pulled her with him.
“We can do publicity shots tomorrow, Louie,” Ellie called over her shoulder.
“Sure thing, sugar.”
The familiarity of his words made Peter pause mid-stride. He flexed his hand in a fist, thought better of it, and marched her away from the crowd.
“What’re you doing?” She stopped, forcing him to turn around.
“Taking you home.”
“You have no right—”
“I have every right … wife.”
“Don’t call me—”
Murderous silence.
“Technically, I guess I am.”
Peter tightened his fingers on her arm. When she whimpered, he loosened his hold, but didn’t release her. Smoke and alcohol clung to her, but a hint of her perfume reached him, making him ache for her. She’d just kicked him in the teeth, nearly denying their relationship as husband and wife. He steeled his jaw. When he was done with her, he’d boot her out. His eyes narrowed. He’d get what he wanted, including answers to questions that had battered his brain for the last three months. He had a right to know why she had left him. And at this crucial time. Why she preferred to live like a pauper, instead of like a princess with him? Why?
Dragging her with him, he climbed the four steps from the Hollywood cellar club to street level. Behind them, the neon sign flashed, The Blue Room, both illuminating and shading her face.
“Let go, Peter.” She yanked her hand from his grasp and he allowed it. “I’m not about to run away at this time of night and in this weather.” She drew the lapels of his jacket closer about her neck, raindrops drenching her hair and trickling down her nape.
“Stand under the canopy, Ellie,” he commanded. “I’ll wave down a cab.”
From beneath her lashes, she watched him, studying him, loving him, hating— abruptly she froze, her thoughts ripping her apart. She’d wanted for nothing. He always brought her things, even during their most intimate moments. Heat infused her body and a drop of moisture slid between her breasts. All the material wealth he showered upon her couldn’t make up for the limiting lifestyle as the wealthy Italian’s wife, which made her feel more like his mistress.
She licked rain from her lips and her heart thudded. Was her husband an opportunist or simply too busy gaining wealth and power to notice her; to care that she had a dream of her own… wanted to make something of her own life?
He pushed a damp lock off his forehead with an impatient hand and stepped onto the sidewalk. He stretched out his arm to flag down a taxi, and his muscles contracted beneath his wet shirt.
Every cell of her body flared. She could easily succumb to his potent sexuality. But she had to resist the temptation. Had to resist his influence, his magnetism… him. A one-night stand with her husband would only compound the problem. Still vulnerable, she had to put distance between them, to think clearly; about their marriage, their life. Could they have a future together? She doubted it and her heart shriveled.
She drew in a breath, willed her erratic pulse to get in sync, and exhaled in a rush. Odor from the trash bins in the alley assailed the damp air, but she barely noticed. She took a step closer to him and reached out to touch him, to wrap her arms around the bulge of his biceps, to rub her cheek … feeling his strength. His security. His love.
Oh, how she wanted to, but instead she dropped her hand to her side and stepped back. She blinked raindrops from her lashes. It couldn’t be as she wanted. A gust of wind silenced the cry from her lips. To be with him, she’d have to ‘sell out’ on herself; for chasing her dream could cost him his.
Entry level into the music biz entailed gigs in questionable locales and servicing all manner of clientele. It was a highly unsuitable vocation for the wife of the ambitious intern seeking a seat on the Medical Board.
Goosebumps erupted all over her skin. Yet, his ruthless climb to fame on the global front had strangled her dream. Stifled her.
She felt cornered.
Defeated.
That’s why she’d left. Guilt gnawed her insides. Why she must slip away from him again.
Peter whistled and waved down an approaching cab. When the car screeched to a halt at the curb, tires splashing muddied water everywhere, she disappeared into the shadows of the night.
He was losing his mind. He tossed and turned on the sofa in the living room of his Beverly Hills mansion. Where had she gone? Last night, he hailed the cab and glanced behind him for Ellie, but she’d vanished again. Taking his heart, his hopes, and his future with her. He hunted for her everywhere, questioned everyone in the club, and then he spotted the paparazzo at the bar. He shoved his way through the crowded room, grabbed Louie by the shirt collar and hauled him off the stool, his feet dangling in midair.
The man shook his head, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.
A camera flashed.
Disgusted, Peter dropped him on his feet and stomped back out to the street, the drizzle of rain cooling his skin. He asked everyone in the vicinity – the newsvendor on the corner, the laughing couple stepping out of the nearby pizzeria, the homeless person rifling through the trash cans in the alley, the waiting taxi driver.
No one had seen her.
Dawn was breaking by the time Peter had stumbled up the front steps of his home. He slammed the door shut and the sound echoed the emptiness of his life since she’d fled. After loosening his tie, he’d thrown himself on the living-room couch, the silence of the mansion deafening.
Now, he stared at the ceiling, his bloodshot eyes stinging from his sleepless night. How could she slip away with him not two feet from her? He flung an arm across his eyes. How could she leave him without an explanation? Not once, not twice, but thrice.
Shifting, he peered at the clock above the marble mantel of the fireplace. He groaned. Seven a.m. He glanced at his wrinkled, mud-stained clothes in distaste and scrubbed a hand across his stubble-ridden jaw. Time he took a shower and changed. He made to get up, but every muscle in his body resisted.
He slumped back on the cushions, and a self-deprecating smile cracked his mouth. As the doctor in the house, he certainly did not give himself sound advice. A highly esteemed neurosurgeon, who could heal all manner of ills of the human brain, yet he didn’t know what to prescribe for a shattered heart.
A growl tore from him, ripping across the silent house. He lowered his lashes, cushioning his pupils, and swung his legs over the side of the couch. The movement shot sharp arrows through him, and his muscles contracted. He pinched the bridge of his nose and rolled his shoulders to get the blood circulating.
All night, he’d been coiled like a spring, ready to snap. He still had no inkling why his wife of five years had up and deserted him. Ungrateful little bi— but the voice in his head eclipsed that unsavory thought. You were hardly around… itself a form of abandonment.
He snorted. “What I’ve done, I’ve done for her.” His chin jutted in defense. “Gave her a beautiful home, a new car every year, everything money could buy.” The niggle in his head persisted. That’s not what she needed. “What was it she needed?” His words exploded against the walls, adorned with priceless paintings. “What did she want?” Obviously, it hadn’t been him.
The hole in his gut ached. He clutched his head between his hands, his temples pounding. A raw gash in his heart had split open and spurted blood … Ellie was the only one who could stop the hemorrhage. A menacing sound gurgled in his throat. She defied him by deftly slipping away from him – three times. That thrust the knife deeper into his aorta and proved she wasn’t interested in handing him a band-aid.
He had no choice but to play hardball… with her.
There was too much at stake… his life, his profession, and his reputation. Then there were others—
The sudden ringing of the telephone had him almost jumping from his skin. He thought to ignore it, but the sound penetrated through the fog of his mind, his pain, and his fury. With every muscle throbbing, he reached for the cordless phone on the coffee table. Cherry red. Her favorite color. “Shut up,” he muttered to the noise in his head.
He heaved a deep breath and exhaled with force. “He-l-lo,” he croaked, then cleared his throat. “Hello.”
* * *
“Three dollars.” Ellie clutched the money in her hand and glanced at her empty wallet. Then she rifled through the bills, fingers shaking, to ensure she had counted correctly. She had.
She leaned against the sooty wall of the matchbox she’d called home for the last three months and closed her eyes. No money. No job. No prospects. She balled her hand into a fist and pressed it against her mouth, swallowing desperation. “I will not go back to him like I did at Christmas.”
The sound of her breathing vibrated around her. She shoved the wallet back in her purse, slipped the strap over her shoulder and glanced about. Faded curtains hung on the one window, not quite blocking the sound of rain shooting against the pane. Wind whistled through the maple branches scraping against the building, cars honked, and tires swished on wet roads of downtown North Hollywood.
She drew the lapels of her brown coat under her chin, her eyes following the crack in the wall from the stove to the stained sink and to the refrigerator. Shifting, her gaze settled on the frayed sofa that doubled as her bed; the blotchy dandelion hue matched the carpet. What a color scheme, she mused, the tight line across her mouth twitching, but not quite making it to a smile. The nearby table held her one luxury. A cell phone. Cherry red.
She glanced outside at shops still decorated with cupids and hearts, and her eyes filled with tears. Heaving a tremulous breath, she blinked them away, and her thoughts drifted back to her former life. It had included a luxurious Beverly Hills estate, a beachfront penthouse on the Italian Riviera, chauffeur-driven limos, servants… gowns, jewelry… money… and a husband who was virtually a stranger. Pain and disillusionment mocked her; yet, beneath it all another feeling persisted.
She bit her lip, knowing she couldn’t give into it. If she returned to him now, without anything resolved between them, it’d be business as usual with the sexy doctor.
With determined effort, Ellie severed her thoughts from the past and glanced in the mirror behind the door. She combed her fingers through her hair, scooped it up, and tucked it beneath a wool cap. Pinching her cheeks to add color, she took a deep breath and reached for the doorknob. At that moment, the doorbell rang and made her jump. She pulled the door open and her vitals went into overdrive.
“Go away.” She forced the words between her stiff lips.
“No.”
“What do you want?” She twisted the purse strap around her fingers.
“Answers.”
Peter towered above her, his six-foot frame hidden beneath an Armani overcoat, his hair damp from rain. She wanted to run to him, yet she’d run away from him, three times. Not proud of it. But she’d been desperate to crack through his professional veneer, willing him to see her and not what she represented – a necessity for his next promotion.
“I-I have nothing more to say to you.” She squeezed the doorknob, its metal ridges pressing into her palm.
He took a step closer.
She nudged the door closed, but he blocked it with his shoulder.
“Nonsense, Ellie.” Flecks in his eyes turned coal black and he stepped inside, booting the door shut with his heel. “I deserve an explanation. Demand it.”
“Explanation?” She moved two paces back and a sound, almost a snort, burst from her mouth. “You mean, like in talk?”
A perplexed look skimmed across his face.
“You never listened. Or weren’t there. Or it wasn’t the right time. Too tired. And most often you just wanted to … uh …”
“Yes?”
A blush warmed her cheeks.
“And was that so bad?” He brushed the color on her cheek with his knuckles. “To love you?” His words were so gentle that she almost crumbled in her resolve.
“No … yes … I mean no, but—”
Peter flicked his eyes across her agitated breasts, then lower, pausing at the apex of her thighs. A tense beat, and he glanced back up, clashing with her mutinous face.
“Don’t provoke me, Peter.” She yanked the hat lower over her ears.
“What’s the matter?” He stepped closer, and she smelled the damp wool of his coat. His rain-fresh scent was intoxicating … putting her senses on full alert. “Afraid you might still feel something for me?”
She snapped out of the sexual trance. “The only thing I feel for you i-is indifference.” Not true, the voice in her head jabbed. Be quiet!
He blanched, his proud features more pronounced. “I could prove otherwise.” His warm breath teased the curls springing loose from the confines of her hat and sensitized her skin with awareness.
“Why are you here, Peter?” She walked backward until her legs bumped the sofa. “Besides trying to force yourself upon me.”
A loaded moment, and she glimpsed something in his eyes… pain?
She doubted if he could feel anything but arrogance. Nevertheless, she knew her words weren’t quite fair.
“I have never forced—”
“I know.” She sighed, glancing down at her scruffy boots. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
He rubbed his forehead with his fingers and his wedding ring glinted in the dim light. The motion mesmerized her. She remembered holding his hand, feeling his strength, kissing, tasting, wanted to … no!
“How’d you find me at the club?” she blurted.
His eyes glittered with purpose, his cheekbones prominent. “A friend tipped me off—”
“A spy.”
“Hardly that, Ellie.” An unbidden smile tugged at his lips. “A patron at the club—”
“I was fired this morning.”
“Oh?” He flicked a speck of imaginary lint off his sleeve. “Rather sudden, wasn’t it?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Yes, it was.” She bet he had something to do with it. Her throat constricted. He had everything to do with it.
“You can’t want to stay in this place.”
“Why not?”
He raised a thick eyebrow.
“Not up to your level?”
“No,” he growled. “Nor yours.”
She laughed and the brittle sound bounced off grease-spattered walls. “Peter, you don’t know that.”
He brushed her shoulder. “Have you changed so quickly?”
“No.” She closed her hands tight. “It took me five years.”
During which time her life had revolved around a series of society events, elaborate luncheons, and schmoozing parties. Whenever Peter showed her off for the cameras, she wondered if he wanted her or the image of ‘the good doctor’s wife’. An appearance that was necessary for building his image as the successful neurosurgeon at the top of his game on the home front and on a global scale.
“Explain that ridiculous remark.” He shuttered his eyes, sizing her up.
“Never mind.” She sank on the sofa, before her legs buckled beneath her, and folded her hands in her lap.
“I do mind, Ellie.”
“Why?”
“This is a dump,” he bit out. “No wife of mine’s going to be seen—”
“I knew it.” She leaped to her feet. “You’re more concerned about what other people think than what I think. Feel. Want.”
“Not true.”
“How’s that?”
“Would I be here, otherwise?”
“Yes.” She shot him a sharp gaze. “If it served your agenda.”
His eyes darkened, reminding her of a raging bull. “What’s my agenda, Ellie?”
“To reach the top at any cost.”
“Because?”
“We-ell … uh … uh …” She blinked, at a loss for words.
“Not sure?”
Had she misjudged him?
“Did it ever occur to you that I work hard to provide a good home for you, us?”
“A showplace—”
“So you can have everything you want—”
“Despise.”
“Do you?”
“Ye-es.”
Peter slitted his focus and camouflaged the inferno inside him. Her words were barbs in his flesh, but her body heat, hinting of roses, wrapped around him like a caress. He’d tasted her, had her, and would again. His groin tightened, breath billowed in his chest, and his heart thudded. He was losing the fight of his life, with the most important person in his life.
His wife.
He sensed it in his gut and something seemed to die inside him. Anger flared through him and eclipsed the ache scraping him raw.
“Then there’s nothing more to say, except—” He bridged the gap between them in one stride, his legs brushing her thighs, “—this.” He hauled her hard against his chest, his gaze connecting with hers for a timeless second, and then, he imprisoned her mouth with his.
Ellie wriggled in his embrace, but his lips were a sensual delight, evoking a response from her. As always. When his tongue slid into her mouth, awakening every cell, she curved into his embrace, and kissed him back full force. She reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and her purse swung out, knocking the telephone off the table.
The sound penetrated their heat and she pulled away. “N-o-o, please.”
“You could’ve fooled me.” His words heavy, his breath fanning her mouth. But he let her go.
“That’s all I am to you.” She stumbled back a step and grabbed onto the sofa. “Someone to warm your bed and satisfy your basic needs.”
“If that’s all you were,” he muttered, swallowing deep puffs of air, “I wouldn’t have married you.”
“Why did you?” Her words were so soft; he had to strain to hear.
“You need to ask?” He met and held her gaze for the longest moment. When she didn’t answer, he walked to the window and propped his hip against the ledge. “Ellie, you can’t mean to live here. You have no money, no job—”
“You made sure of that.”
He scrubbed his cheek with the back of his hand. A man in his position had connections. He used them. He refused to feel guilty. He wanted what was best for her. And for yours truly, the taunt stabbed. He dismissed it. Working in that seedy nightclub was not for this woman, who’d taken his name and became a part of his soul. Every muscle of his torso tightened. She behaved like he was the enemy. “You have no prospects.”
She started to laugh. A soft sound at first, then it grew to a high pitch.
“What’s the matter?” He made to grab her, changed his mind, and stuffed his hands in his coat pockets.
She swallowed and the sound muted. “Nothing. “Everyth—”
“Then, come home.”
“I have no home, Peter.”
“No?”
She remained silent.
He winced.
The sound of their breathing compounded the awkward moment.
He reached out to touch her hair, and then checked the motion. “Accept the credit cards – to pay rent, food—”
“No,” she fired back. “I want nothing from you. I want to be free.”
A lacerated sound burst from his mouth. He’d grown up in a household of near-starving kids while his mother sewed into the early hours of the morning, then cleaned houses to help feed and clothe them. To keep a roof over their heads, his father, an immigrant, speaking broken English, worked in kitchens with soap suds to his elbows while the affluent in society dined out.
Peter had cringed with embarrassment every time someone mispronounced his name and wished he could fit in better. Of course, he never had. So, from an early age, he hit the streets of Little Italy in New York, vowing to opt out of that life, make something of himself, help his family have a better life, and aid others in need. Never having to go to sleep clutching his growling stomach. Never to feel the stigma of being a foreigner and wearing hand-me-downs from well-meaning neighbors. Never to have others look at him with pity because of his background or the sound of his name.
“You think living like a pauper is going to make you free?” he said, his words a growl.
“Of you,” she fired back, her words a stake in his heart.
He nearly doubled over. “Think again, hard.”
She dropped down on the sofa and adjusted the cap over her ears.
“Don’t glamorize poverty,” he said, his tone curt. “You don’t want to do poor, Ellie.”
“I’d rather be poor and free, than like… like Rapunzel in her tower.”
“Do you realize what you’re saying?”
“Ye-es,” she said, her eyes sparking fire. “I’d rather be poor and happy than—”
“And how many poor happy people do you know?” he asked, his words cynical.
“I haven’t counted—”
He guffawed, a dry, humorless sound, and eclipsed her flip retort.
“Money, power, and prestige are the only things that matter to you,” she said, tone resigned.
“Where did you get that idea?”
“From what you’ve done.”
“What’s that?”
“You’ve put your profession before our marriage a-and everything.”
“And that makes me a bad guy?”
“I don’t know.” She crinkled her forehead. “I thought—”
“You thought wrong.” He paced the floor twice. “There’s a great deal you don’t know about me, amore mia.”
“Why’s that?”
He shrugged.
She frisked him with her eyes. “You’re a real smooth operator.” A smile teased the corner of her mouth, and she nipped it away with her teeth. “Didn’t mean it to come out a pun.”
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.