HE HADN’T CHANGED one bit.
No, Ava thought as Noah stood, her eyes flitting over him. He had changed. Though she now remembered how greedily she’d taken in his muscles earlier, she’d forgotten about them between then and now.
Possibly because he was wearing one of his colleague’s ill-fitting T-shirts.
Probably because she’d been too distracted by his face.
It had happened before, too many times to count. And Ava didn’t even blame herself for it. How could she? Objectively, Noah had the prettiest face she’d ever seen. And though the word didn’t seem to fit with the rest of him—not any more, since the strong, muscular body he had now was more rugged than the lithe one he’d had when they were younger—she couldn’t deny the perfect lines and angles of his face were pretty.
But just because she couldn’t blame herself for it didn’t mean she didn’t find it annoying. It was. Because if he hadn’t been so pretty she might not have found herself still having this absurd crush. Years later.
And then he walked towards her, rubbed a hand down her arm, and said something in that deliciously deep voice of his. And the voice in her head that had called her a liar when she’d put her crush down to just his looks laughed and laughed.
Damn it.
‘Avalanche?’
‘Hmm?’ She shook her head. ‘Oh. You said something?’ If only she could remember what. ‘Yes.’
‘Yes?’ His hand dropped. ‘What do you mean, yes?’
Double damn it. Clearly her guess had been wrong.
‘I mean, yes—’ She exhaled sharply when she couldn’t think of an appropriate cover-up. ‘Yes, I have no idea what you said and my attempt at hiding it has failed miserably.’
He stared at her, and then he laughed. ‘Clearly you’re the same old Ava. Honest even when it doesn’t benefit you.’
‘Would it kill you to not be so blunt? No one needs you to be this honest.’
‘Yes, that’s me,’ she said brightly, hoping it would banish the darkness of Milo’s voice in her head. The memories that voice inevitably evoked. The pretence of the rest of her wedding day. The weeks after, when she’d looked in the mirror and asked herself why she couldn’t be different. Better. Easier. ‘Would you repeat what you said?’
‘I asked where you’ll be staying tonight?’
‘Jaden’s,’ she said automatically. But then she shook her head. ‘No, Jaden isn’t here. He and Leela are staying over at the vineyard their wedding is going to be at. They want a better idea of what their wedding will feel like.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘As if it will change anything. The wedding’s two weeks away. What are they going to do if it doesn’t “feel” right?’ She sighed. ‘I guess I’ll be staying at a hotel.’
‘Why not your mom and dad’s?’
‘They’re with Jaden and Leela at the wedding venue.’
‘Sounds horrific.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed with a small smile. ‘I can’t imagine anything worse than a wedding at Christmastime.’
She knew that because her wedding had been at Christmastime. And not only had her day been spoiled, but her entire festive season. She was still not prepared to spend the first anniversary of her being jilted at another wedding. With the same guests. And the same whispers.
But she had no choice. Her brother was getting married.
‘Of course, the fact that this isn’t exactly a romantic weekend for Jaden and Leela sucks, too. My parents and Leela’s parents are there, so Jaden and Leela probably had to get separate bedrooms.’
It hadn’t occurred to her before, but it amused her now.
‘Oh, no,’ Noah said with a frown. ‘Your parents can’t think—?’ He broke off when she gave him a look. ‘Apparently they can.’
‘Unfortunately, my parents can and will believe whatever they want of their children.’
Like the way they thought the collapse of Ava’s wedding had been because of Milo’s faults and not Ava’s. And how they still didn’t see anything wrong with how grumpy she was—or wonder how much easier she could have been—even after a broken engagement.
‘Anyway,’ she continued, ‘no one’s there. And my access to all those places are locked in the drawer next to my bed.’ She closed her eyes briefly. ‘So, yes, a hotel.’
‘What about Zorro?’
She lifted a brow. ‘Are you still looking out for him?’
‘I’m looking out for you.’
She thought she saw him hesitate before he continued.
‘You’re my best friend’s sister. There’s an unspoken moral code that requires me to help you when your brother can’t.’
‘I’d like to think that moral code comes from the fact that you and I were friends once, too,’ she said slowly. ‘It doesn’t matter anyway,’ she added, when the thought had her stomach twisting. ‘The vet wants to keep Zorro overnight. He wants to make sure he’s okay.’
‘Are you okay with that?’
‘Of course I am.’
‘Sure,’ he said easily. ‘So there’s no part of you that’s worried about him?’
When her spoken agreement got caught by the emotion in her throat, she sighed. ‘There’s a big part of me that’s worried about him. But he’s in the best place to make sure he’s okay.’
He studied her. ‘He’ll be okay,’ he said quietly, and then, as if he understood that she wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears if they kept on talking about it, he said, ‘You should stay with me.’
She stared him. ‘What?’
‘You should stay with me,’ he said again. ‘At my place.’
‘What place? Your dad’s?’
‘I’m a big boy, Ava,’ he said dryly. ‘I have a place of my own.’
‘I meant,’ she said deliberately, when his words sent thrills down her spine, ‘that you’ve been away for seven years. How do you have a place of your own?’
‘I invested in property.’
‘Of course you did,’ she muttered. ‘No, thanks, Noah. I think I’ll just get a hotel room.’
‘You don’t know how long it’ll be before you’ll be able to go home.’ He paused. ‘You might have to spend a couple of nights there.’
‘I’ll survive.’
‘What about Zorro?’
She narrowed her eyes. ‘I told you—’
‘Yes, he’s staying at the vet’s tonight. But what happens tomorrow, when they call you to tell you he’s fine? That he can come home?’
‘I’m sure I’ll be back in my own house by then.’
‘But what if you’re not?’ He waited a beat. ‘I have a pet-friendly home.’
‘Noah—’
‘Ava.’
Their gazes locked. Her brain said, No, Ava; her body said, Yes, please. The juxtaposition fluttered on her skin, and she blamed her gooseflesh on that and not on how sexy and serious Noah’s eyes looked. Or on the memory of how that was exactly how they’d looked before he’d kissed her all those years ago...
‘No, Noah.’
She said it with a sigh of regret. She hoped he wouldn’t hear that, but her filter wasn’t working properly. She was too tired. Her throat ached. Her lungs pained. Her body reminded her that she’d done a full day of work before she’d arrived home to find the place full of smoke. Not to mention the swirling in her head at the unwelcome feelings and memories being in Noah’s presence evoked.
‘I’ve already put you out way too much tonight. I’m the reason you’re here. You should go home by yourself—’ Had she really just said that? ‘—and get some rest. Besides, I have to call my family now, before they hear about the evacuation, freak out and start driving back here in the middle of the night. And I do not want to tell them—specifically, Jaden—that I’m staying at your place tonight.’
‘Ava...’ he said softly, and walked closer to her.
Something pressed into the backs of her legs, and she realised it was one of the seats in the waiting room. Because when he’d moved closer to her she’d moved back.
Stay.
She straightened. ‘Noah—’
‘Let me speak,’ he interrupted, and the tone of his voice—seductive, commanding—silenced her. ‘It’s been a difficult night. We’re both exhausted, and it’s going to take more energy than either of us has to find you a hotel. I’m not leaving you alone to arrange all this,’ he said when she opened her mouth. ‘And I’m not even mentioning clean clothes, proper toiletries, a warm meal. Stay with me.’
‘What do I tell my family?’
‘Whatever you like. It’s the easiest option,’ he said with a smile, as if he knew she was already starting to formulate the lie she was going to tell them. ‘You’d do the same thing for me, Ava. We’re family, too.’
She nearly laughed. ‘I haven’t seen you in seven years, Noah.’
‘Doesn’t change anything.’ He paused. ‘I’ve only seen Jaden three times during those seven years. All three times it was because he’d come to see me. Because he considered me to be family.’
‘You’re his best friend.’
‘Family,’ he said firmly. ‘Friends come and go. And I went. If we weren’t family I wouldn’t be back here at Christmas, preparing to be best man at your brother’s wedding.’
‘You’re...stubborn,’ she said, when defeat washed over her.
‘I like to think of it as persistent.’
‘Well, you better hope persistence will help us if Jaden ever discovers the truth about the lie I’m about to tell him and our parents.’
‘Noah, you know I appreciate you offering me a place to stay, but—’ Ava broke off, wondering how to tell him. But then she remembered that he already knew she was honest. ‘But it looks like Father Christmas and the elves threw up in here.’
Noah chuckled. ‘That’s not a bad description, actually.’
He stood next to her and she held her breath, as if somehow it would make her less aware of him.
‘I had a company come in and decorate for Christmas before I got here. They got a bit...carried away.’
She took in the tinsel that hung on every flat surface, the Christmas stockings that accompanied it. The Christmas lights that were draped around pieces of furniture that should not have lights around them. And, of course, the gigantic Christmas tree next to the fireplace.
‘I think that’s an understatement.’
‘Probably.’
He took the handbag and coat that been draped over her shoulder and arm respectively, and hung them on a coat rack she hadn’t noticed.
‘I’ve been meaning to do something to make it less...this—’ he nodded his head at the decorations ‘—but I haven’t had the time.’
‘Christmas season is fire season in Cape Town.’
‘Yeah. And this season’s been particularly bad. Hence the fact that I—a mere volunteer—have been fighting fires for pretty much the entire two weeks since I’ve been here.’
She took a seat at the counter in his kitchen, accepting the glass of water he offered her. ‘Is that why I didn’t even know you were back here?’
‘I told Jaden. It must have slipped his mind.’
‘Must have,’ she said softly.
But she didn’t think that was it. Jaden hadn’t been entirely forthcoming with her since he and his fiancée had announced that their wedding would be at the same time of year hers had been, almost one year later to the day. In fact, he was avoiding her. More so since Leela had asked her to be a bridesmaid.
So she would put down Jaden’s neglect in telling her Noah was back to that, and not to the fact that he hadn’t wanted her to know. Things had moved on since Jaden had caught them kissing that one time. It probably had nothing to do with the anger he’d felt towards both of them back then.
Probably.
‘You okay?’
She looked up to see Noah’s eyes steady on her. ‘Perfect. This place is amazing.’
She looked around at the light green walls, the large windows that offered an incredible view of the mountains and the hills, the stone-coloured furniture. She took in the marble countertops, the sleek, top-of-the-line appliances, the white and yellow palette that brightened the kitchen.
And then her eyes rested on the sexy man who looked so at home in all of it. And although her heart did unwanted cartwheels in her chest, she forced calm into her voice.
‘I mean, what I can actually see underneath all this tinsel is amazing.’
‘Oh, ha-ha.’
She grinned. ‘So, how about you show me to the shower, Mr Festive?’
WHEN HE’D STUDIED photography after school it had been because he’d had a passion for it. He’d enjoyed the challenge of seeing things in new ways. In ways others didn’t. He’d created a website to show off his work, and when he’d received that first enquiry to use one of his pictures he’d realised he could use his passion to make money.
Soon his photos had garnered more attention. And then a photo editor for a popular nature magazine had reached out to him about a job in Namibia. And suddenly he’d realised he could use his passion to give in to his wanderlust.
He supposed his surname had given him a push that most twenty-year-olds didn’t get. The Giles name was still synonymous with the media empire his great-great-uncle had created. The empire that had been passed down to his grandfather, when his great-great-uncle had died childless, and then down to his father.
Having an empire and money behind him had meant he could take only the jobs that interested him. That he’d been able to use his skill and passion for jobs that meant something to the world. That he’d been able to use the money he didn’t need to invest in properties back home in South Africa and wherever else his heart desired.
All while avoiding the pitfalls of settling down. The trap he’d seen his father fall into over and over again since his mother had died. But he couldn’t deny that it felt good to have a place of his own. Not somewhere he just stayed, but somewhere he lived.
He’d only been back in Cape Town for a fortnight, but it was a source of pride for him. And never more than at this moment, as he showed Ava to his spare bedroom.
When she’d disappeared into the bathroom he went to his own room and put some of the spare clothing he had there in hers. And then he went back to the kitchen, to start on the meal he’d promised her. Which, he thought even before he reached the kitchen, was a stupid idea. On his best days he could manage to fry an egg. And it would usually end up deformed. Edible, but deformed.
It would definitely not be the kind of warm meal he’d promised Ava, so he called the twenty-four-hour deli up the road. He was almost out through the door to go and fetch the food, too, before he realised he looked like crap. He’d changed out of his firefighter’s uniform before going to the hospital, but he was still sweaty and grimy. And fairly certain he would not have wanted to meet himself, let alone hand over food to someone looking like he did at that moment.
He went to his room, threw off his clothes and headed to the shower. He heaved a sigh when the water hit his body. It kneaded muscles he hadn’t realised were tight and painful. It also reminded him that he’d stuffed a cat into his jacket and the cat had not appreciated it.
He washed his hair, his body and then, feeling faintly human again, put on clean clothes. But before he put on his top he realised he should probably put something on the scratches on his stomach. They were deeper than he’d first realised. So he grabbed his top, heading to the kitchen where he kept the first-aid kit.
‘I thought they fixed everything at the hospital.’
He was halfway through putting salve on the scratches when she spoke. He glanced back, and his throat dried when he saw her in his clothes.
They were too big for her, but they looked better on her than they ever had on him.
‘Uh...they did. But they also took me at my word when I told them I had no external injuries. I forgot about these.’
She walked around the counter and he got a whiff of the fruity scent of the shower gel he’d put in his spare bathroom. It smelled a hell of a lot sexier on her than it did in the bottle.
Oh, boy.
‘Which external injuries?’ she said, and then, though he tried to angle his body away from her, she sucked in her breath. ‘Oh, crap,’ she said on an exhale. ‘Did Zorro do this to you?’
‘No,’ he said dryly, struggling for normality. ‘It was some other cat I put next to my stomach.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, and then she took the salve from him and began to smear it gently on his scratches. He felt his torso tremble—saw it, too, though he tried to ignore it—and hoped Ava wouldn’t notice.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said again. ‘Is it painful? It’s a lot more enthusiastic than I’d expect from Zorro.’
‘It’s fine.’ He gritted his teeth as her hand moved lower, down to the scratches near the waistband of his pants.
‘Clearly it isn’t.’
Her touch was still light, still gentle, but when she moved lower still he grabbed her wrist.
‘It’s fine, Ava.’
The words were said in a harsher voice than he’d intended, and her eyes widened. But that was better than having her move any lower and having his body respond in an unpredictable way—or a very predictable way. He was only just clinging to his control as it was.
‘I’m—I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be.’
He was still holding on to her hand, but he softened his voice. And then she looked at him and his world tilted.
Uh-oh.
What the hell was she doing?
She’d acted without thinking. Or she had been thinking, but not about how it would feel to be touching Noah’s bare torso. No, she’d been thinking about how her cat had hurt him. How her cat had hurt him because of her. Because Noah had gone back to save Zorro so she wouldn’t have to.
But she wasn’t thinking about that now either.
In fact, she couldn’t be sure that she was thinking at all. Because now she was caught in Noah’s gaze when she was pretty sure she shouldn’t be. He was so close she could see the grey flecks in his blue eyes. She could see the emotions there, too.
The caution. The interest. The desire.
It had her remembering that he still had her wrist in his hand. And that realisation sent a heady heat slithering from the contact, up and around her arm, settling much too close to her chest. To her heart.
Her other hand was still braced on the lower half of his body. Much too close to his—
‘Um...’ she said, pulling her hands from his body and stepping back. ‘It’s probably okay now.’
‘Yeah,’ he replied in a hoarse voice. He cleared his throat. ‘It was fine before you came in.’
‘Of course.’
There was an awkward beat of silence, but Ava took solace in the fact that it came from both of them. She hadn’t been the only one acting stupidly. She hadn’t been the only one affected.
But thinking about it like that didn’t comfort her as much as she’d hoped.
‘Could you pass me my top?’ Noah asked after a few moments.
‘Yeah, sure.’ She paused. ‘Where is it?’
‘Behind you.’
When she turned back to hand it to him there was a slight smile on his face.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘Nothing,’ he said, pulling on his top.
Disappointment sailed through her as she said goodbye to his abs.
‘I was just thinking it’s going to be an interesting wedding.’
‘That’s one way to put it.’
‘You don’t think so?’
‘I think that I need to get through it in any way that I can. Which,’ she said, considering, ‘might involve alcohol.’
‘Ah. You’re old enough to drink now, aren’t you?’
She cocked an eyebrow. ‘You say that as if you weren’t the one who handed me my first beer.’
His smile widened. ‘See—interesting.’
‘You and I have very different definitions of that,’ she replied, and walked back around the counter. Her breath came out a little more easily now that there was space between them.
‘Probably. But I think it might have the same results.’
Which was precisely what she was worried about. Because after the short, but very eye-opening interaction they’d just had, she was beginning to think her crush was no longer a secret.
Or perhaps she was more concerned that this unexpected flare-up of her crush was no longer a secret. Because if she’d managed to keep it secret after she’d asked him to kiss her for the first time, she certainly hadn’t after she’d thrown herself into their second kiss.
But in the seven years since they’d last seen one another—years during which she hadn’t even heard from him—she had managed to hide her feelings. And if what had just happened between them meant that Noah shared those feelings—
Noah? Sharing her feelings?
She nearly laughed aloud at the ludicrousness of it. She’d always known the reason he’d kissed her the first time had been out of pity. And the second kiss had just happened because he’d been heartbroken and hadn’t known what he was feeling.
Anything they’d shared was in her imagination. Back then and now. No one wanted Ava. No one wanted someone who spoke before she thought. Who was prickly for most of the time and defensive for the rest.
Just because Milo said it doesn’t make it true.
But it does, she corrected the voice in her head.
Milo hadn’t wanted to marry her after being with her for five years. He was the best person to know the truth. And if he hadn’t wanted her Noah sure as hell wouldn’t either.
The sooner she realised that, the better.
He was back from the deli in less than fifteen minutes. Ava had graciously allowed him to leave without commenting on the fact that he was buying their food. But maybe it wasn’t grace. Maybe she just needed space to deal with what had happened between them, just as he had.
It was a natural reaction to being around a beautiful woman, he’d told himself on the way to the deli. He hadn’t dated in so long he couldn’t remember. His body had just been reminding him that he had needs; his mind just responding as any person who had needs would.
But when he returned and saw Ava sitting on his balcony, staring out over the mountains visible to most residents of Somerset West, he faltered. Had she looked this forlorn before? This defenceless?
Now she seemed nothing like the spitfire who had tried to save her cat from a blaze and everything like that little girl he’d once saved from being bullied. And when his heart turned in his chest and his arms ached to pull her into his arms, Noah worried that his reaction to her earlier hadn’t just been natural. That it had been...more.
It didn’t help that when her eyes met his—brown and steady—he instinctively knew she wasn’t that little girl who’d needed saving. Her gaze wasn’t as innocent, as trusting, as that little girl’s had been. It was weary, cautious—as if she were ready to defend herself at any moment.
‘This place is just as beautiful on the outside as it is on the inside,’ she said into the silence.
Grateful for the distraction—his thoughts bothered him more than he’d thought they should—he nodded. ‘This particular view sealed the deal for me.’
‘I can imagine.’ She pushed out from the table she’d been sitting at. ‘I’d love to enjoy it some more, but I’m hungry. Like, really hungry. What do you have in there?’
He swung the deli bags out of her reach when she tried to peek inside them, and thought about how similar this was to how they’d been before he’d left. How similar it was to how she’d been before. And how it didn’t make him feel like he needed to protect her.
‘You’ll find out when I serve it.’
‘Spoilsport.’ She followed him to the kitchen. ‘Can I help?’
‘No.’
‘Excuse me?’
He smiled at the disbelief in her voice, and then took his time removing the takeaway dishes from the plastic bag and placing them on the kitchen counter.
When he saw her hovering, he said, ‘Have a seat.’
‘You’re really refusing my help?’
‘Yes.’ He opened his fridge, showing her different drinks one by one until she eventually nodded at the fruit juice he took out. ‘I didn’t ask you here so you could help me cook, Ava.’
‘I think you’re using the word cook wrong,’ she commented dryly, and then took the glass he offered her and went to the couch.
He could almost see her body sag into its softness. He was glad he’d refused her help.
‘You know, the last time I was at your house—and this was when you still lived with your father—you didn’t know what “cook” meant then either. I think you gave me and Jaden leftovers from the night before.’
‘How do you know I didn’t cook the night before?’
‘Because it was delicious.’ She smiled brightly at the look he gave her. ‘And because your father’s made me a few more of those pasta dishes since you left and it was definitely not your cooking.’
His hands paused. ‘You’ve seen my father since I’ve been away?’
He saw her cheeks pinken. ‘Yeah... I mean, occasionally...’ She cleared her throat. ‘I’ve been helping him with some stuff. We’re...friends.’
The pink turned into a deep red, and if Noah hadn’t been so perplexed by the whole thing—if his heart hadn’t been racing in his chest—he’d have found it charming.
‘So, just to check that I’ve heard you correctly,’ he said slowly, when his brain refused to process what she’d told him, ‘you say you’re friends with my father?’
‘Don’t make it sound so outlandish, Noah,’ she said with a roll of her eyes. Her embarrassment seemed to have worn off. ‘Your father is incredibly interesting. And he’s young for his age. I can barely tell he’s in his sixties.’ She sipped her juice. ‘And, while we’re at it, I might as well tell you that by “occasionally” I actually mean at least every two weeks. More often if my schedule—and his—can manage it.’ She lifted her shoulders at the look on his face. ‘We enjoy each other’s company, Noah. There’s nothing wrong with that.’
All the blood seemed to drain from his body.
‘Ava,’ he said, his voice strangled. ‘Are you trying... Are you trying to tell me that you’re in a relationship with my father?’
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.