Mail-Order Mother
Recently widowed and pregnant, Millie Steele needs a husband to help provide for her unborn child, and becoming a mail-order bride is her only option. Thankfully, her new husband, Kansas farmer Adam Beale, only wants a mother for his two young children—not romance. Everything is going according to plan...until Millie begins to fall for Adam.
Adam had reservations about wedding another city dweller—his late wife never took to life on the prairie. But now he can’t imagine his family being complete without Millie and her unborn baby. Though they agreed to a strictly platonic partnership, can real love be blooming in Adam and Millie’s marriage of convenience?
“Are you happy, Millie?”
She stopped rocking but didn’t reply.
“Uh, Millie?” Adam sounded foolish, but what else was he supposed to say?
She blushed, and he tried not to notice how pretty it looked on her cheeks.
“Am I happy? I don’t understand.”
The bewildered tone made Adam’s heart ache. She sounded absolutely stunned that her husband would care about her happiness.
Adam leaned farther forward, resting his forearms on the tops of his thighs. He wanted to move closer to her, but made himself stay in the rocking chair. They had been living as strangers for a month. Nicely, too. But he wanted more than that. Not love. No, Adam had learned that lesson well. But friendship. Companionship. A sense of shared purpose surely wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? That was the goal, and Adam was ready to do the work.
“Millie, it’s been a month. I just want to know how you feel about things here. Are you happy with the house? The children? Your day-to-day life?” With me? He didn’t say the last part, but Adam’s heart whispered it.
VICTORIA W. AUSTIN lives in the American Midwest with her husband, children and dogs. Her kids write notes in the furniture dust and the family watches television with the closed captioning on because the house is, um, loud. She likes chocolate, peace and quiet, chocolate and silence. She gets too much of one and too little of the other. This explains the tight pants and the many, many, many gray hairs.
Family of Convenience
Victoria W. Austin
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
—2 Timothy 1:7
To my family—
I have everything because I have you
Acknowledgments
I have almost too many people to thank, which is a blessing in and of itself. Thank you to my family for supporting me no matter what. Thank you to Harlequin and the Manuscript Matchmaker contest for this opportunity. Thank you to Elizabeth Mazer, my incredible editor, for all the help and guidance. Thank you to my critique partners and fellow romance-writer friends for the advice and encouragement.
Contents
Cover
Back Cover Text
Introduction
About the Author
Title Page
Bible Verse
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Epilogue
Dear Reader
Extract
Copyright
Chapter One
Kansas
1889
To Do:
Get married
Meet my new children
Figure out how to run a ranch
Find a way to make money on the side
Find a safe place to hide money
Start saving an emergency fund without drawing attention
Find the ranch financial books and look at them
Marrison, Kansas, didn’t have a hotel. Just the boardinghouse she’d checked into the day before. Her room had a bed with a clean, worn quilt. A simple chest of drawers. A rocking chair.
But, no mirror.
That was okay. Millie Steele wasn’t sure she could go through with this if she had to look at herself in a mirror. This way was better.
She smoothed her hand over her long brown hair and the front of her dress for the tenth time. Maybe eleventh. When would Mrs. Sinclair knock on the door and say it was time? Had the woman forgotten about her? Could you forget about the bride?
Hysteria rose in Millie’s throat as she actually contemplated that question. She and Mr. Beale had exchanged exactly one letter. One. They had seen each other for the first and only time yesterday, for all of ten minutes. Just long enough to confirm the time he would come to marry her today.
Maybe he’d changed his mind. She was past the period when her short thin frame could hide the baby. Pastor Thompson said Mr. Beale knew, but maybe seeing the truth of it yesterday had been too much.
What was she going to do if he changed his mind?
A quick knock, and the door to the room opened. Mrs. Sinclair strode inside. “We’re all ready, dear.”
Millie sucked in a breath, ignoring the stars that had appeared in her vision. She licked her lips and nodded.
Mrs. Sinclair’s eyes were gentle as she surveyed Millie from head to toe. “You look lovely. Absolutely—”
Millie looked at her hand. It was shaking, but that wasn’t what had caught Mrs. Sinclair’s attention. No. It was the slim circle of gold on the ring finger of her left hand. She flushed at the sight of it. She couldn’t very well get married today while wearing another man’s ring.
Millie quickly yanked off the ring, ignoring the burn of metal scraping over her knuckle. It was the first time she had taken it off since Marcus had placed it there two years ago. How different that day had been compared to today. Millie had been certain that her future would be secure. Safe. Orderly.
What a fool she had been.
Mrs. Sinclair cleared her throat, and Millie realized she had been staring at the thin band. Millie couldn’t look at the kind woman as she walked over to her suitcase and placed the ring inside.
There. It was done. Looking at the past never got a person anywhere. The way forward was to actually move forward.
She had made her plans. It was time to see them through.
Millie cleared her throat. She forced her spine as straight as possible and took in a deep breath. Then she turned and looked at Mrs. Sinclair. “Okay. I’m ready.” She was an adult. She was in charge of her life. She had considered all the options and chosen this path. This was her choice.
Mrs. Sinclair still looked uncomfortable. And nervous. The entire town would probably be talking about Adam Beale’s crazy new bride for weeks. Once again, Millie would be the outsider who didn’t belong.
Mrs. Sinclair walked up and hugged Millie. She just reached out and pulled Millie into her body. Warm, soft arms wrapped around Millie, who could smell bread on the woman’s clothes. It was impossible to stay stiff and remote in such an embrace. Millie couldn’t remember her mother ever hugging her, but surely this was what it had felt like. Only a mother’s hug could be this comforting.
“It’s going to be okay, dear. Adam Beale is a good man. You’re going to be okay.”
The tears sprang up and welled in Millie’s eyes. They obeyed her rule against crying and did not fall down her cheeks, but they were there. Hot and stinging. She knew she wouldn’t be able to speak without them spilling over. All she could do was nod.
She hoped Mrs. Sinclair understood.
The older woman let go, and Millie pushed down the yearning for the hug to continue. No more stalling. Time to get on with her new life.
Millie followed Mrs. Sinclair down the hallway of the boardinghouse to the top of the stairs. She looked down and saw Mr. Beale there waiting.
Adam.
Her new husband’s name was Adam.
Embarrassed at keeping him waiting, Millie hurried down the stairs. “I’m sorry. I know I’m late. It’s not a habit, I promise.”
Millie despised the desperation she heard in her voice. She needed this man. She needed a husband and a home and safe place to have this baby. Need. But, she still hated feeling so dependent on anyone. I don’t understand this world, God. I don’t understand why things are this way.
Mr. Beale—Adam—didn’t look angry. But, they were in public. He wouldn’t be the first man to put on a kind facade outside of his house.
“It’s okay, Millie. We’re not late at all.”
He’d called her by her given name yesterday, too. It shouldn’t have surprised her. They were, after all, about to get married.
“Thank you, Mr. Beale. I’m ready now.”
“Adam, Millie. Call me Adam.”
Millie just nodded.
The church was close to the boardinghouse. Actually, from what Millie could see, everything in town was close to the boardinghouse. She certainly wasn’t in Saint Louis anymore.
Being small and simple did not inhibit the atmosphere inside the church. Millie looked at the worn wooden pews and the gleaming cross hanging on the wall behind the lectern. There was something indescribable here. Millie breathed in slow and deep, trying to literally take it in and keep it with her.
She did not understand God. She did not agree with how this world was set up. But, she believed. She knew of His love. His peace. And, she felt it here.
She and Adam, along with Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair, stood in front of the pastor. The wedding did not take long. They said their vows. Then, the pastor told Mr. Beale—Adam—that he could kiss his bride. Her.
It was quick and perfunctory, and Adam seemed as glad to have it over with as she was. Though marriages resulting from mail-order brides were not exactly uncommon, theirs probably was more unusual than most. For one thing, she was clearly carrying another man’s child. And for another, they had no intention of truly living as man and wife.
Adam had been almost shockingly clear on that point in his sole letter to her. He needed a mother for his young children. He needed help on his farm, especially with domestic tasks. He was looking for function and practicality, not romance.
Millie had ignored the twinge in her heart as she’d readily agreed with his vision for their future. This world was too unpredictable, too cruel, for dreams of sappy emotions and love. Millie and her child needed shelter. Food.
Adam was providing those things, and it would be enough.
Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair congratulated them and then returned to the boardinghouse, but not before Mrs. Sinclair invited Millie to “come and visit at any time.” Millie forced a smile and said she would.
She wouldn’t actually do so, though. The notebook in her case contained a very long list of things Millie needed to do, and making friends wasn’t anywhere on it.
“Are you ready to go?” Adam touched her arm as he spoke, and Millie flinched. The unexpected contact was made even more startling by the fact that Millie had been so far gone inside her head that she hadn’t noticed his approach. That needed to stop. Things would not get done unless she did them, and that left no room for daydreaming and wandering thoughts.
“Yes. My case is all packed. I just need to get it from the boardinghouse.”
“Sounds good.” Adam placed a hand at the small of her back and almost led her across the street. What was he thinking? For a man who had written in black and white that he was not looking for a romantic relationship with a wife, he sure was touching her an awful lot. Maybe he was concerned with appearances. Didn’t want the town to know about the true nature of their relationship.
He followed her up the stairs and down the hallway to the door of the room she had been staying in. Millie had packed before the wedding and had already checked the room for stray belongings. That didn’t stop her from checking again, quickly this time since Adam was waiting. But, everything was inside her suitcase.
Including that ring.
Millie watched with almost disbelief as Adam came inside the room and picked up the suitcase. She was more than capable of carrying it herself—and had done so as needed during the trip from Saint Louis. But if he wanted to carry it, she wouldn’t complain. He gestured for her to walk ahead of him and then followed her as they retraced their prior steps and headed out the front door of the boardinghouse.
Her new husband was carrying the case that contained the ring given to her by her old husband. The naive girl who had become a bride who had become a widow had become a bride again. And would soon be a mother.
This was going to work out. Millie had a plan. She had a list of steps to accomplish that plan. She could do this. She would do this and it would all work out.
It just had to.
* * *
Adam hated this. It was a glorious day. The sky was blue and the grass was green and it should have filled his soul with peace and awe at what the Creator had made for them. Instead, he felt like a bug trapped in a canning jar.
Adam focused on the breeze on his face. The heat of sun coming through his clothes. The feel of the reins in his hand and the sound of Gray’s and Ellie’s hooves as they pulled the wagon toward home.
He reminded himself that he wasn’t a bug trapped in a glass. He was a man in control of his life. Adam had not come to the decision to seek a mail-order bride lightly. And, he’d made a good choice. This awkward phase would pass and things would settle just as he’d pictured. Eugene and Catherine would have a mother. A home full of the comforts that had been missing since Sarah had died two years ago.
And Adam would be helping Millie, too. That was what he had liked the most about her. When he had mentioned the idea of a mail-order bride, word had spread through town. He wasn’t the first man to find a wife that way, but people seemed to enjoy talking about it nonetheless.
Based on some of the other local men’s experiences, Adam had anticipated months of corresponding with different women, trying to decide from words on paper whether the woman would be the help his children needed or a mistake. Another mistake.
Then, Mr. Carter had come all the way out to the farm to talk to Adam. Mr. Carter’s sister was married to a pastor outside of Saint Louis. She had just written about a young woman who needed a husband. This woman—Millie—was recently widowed and pregnant. Her husband had been deep in debt at the time of his death, and Millie had found herself completely destitute. Alone. Homeless. Though she was staying with friends from church, Millie was looking for a husband. Somewhere to go.
And Adam had an empty room and the need for a wife.
Of course Adam’s heart had hurt for the woman who had been through so much already. His heart also hurt for his children who were similarly suffering through no fault of their own. They could help each other and maybe ease some of the pain all around.
Please, God, let that be true. I need my children to be happy. Well cared for. I want them to grow up in the kind of home I had.
“How far is it? To your home, I mean.”
Adam couldn’t tell from her tone of voice whether she was genuinely curious or just trying to fill the silence between him. Either one was fine. They needed to work from where they were and go up. Build something.
“It’s your home now, too, you know. And it’s not too far, about forty-five minutes from town.”
“Forty-five minutes is not too far?”
Adam turned to look at her. “I always thought forty-five minutes was close to town, at least for this part of the country. How close to Saint Louis was your farm?”
“My farm? The farm I was staying at after my husband died?”
Millie’s voice was slow and hesitant, and Adam felt his stomach harden with dread.
“I was asking about the farm you and your husband had before he died.”
Millie’s eyes widened in something that looked an awful lot like panic. She sat very still, her body not moving despite the jostling of the buggy. “I didn’t live on a farm before my husband died.”
Adam felt his own body freeze. “Where did you live?”
“In the city. In Saint Louis. My husband owned a store there, and I helped him.”
“How about before that? You were raised on a farm, right?” Yes. The answer had to be yes. One of the things that had made Sarah try to leave was the isolation of life on the farm. Adam had tried marrying a city woman unfamiliar with farm life, and it had been a disaster. Surely he hadn’t made the same mistake with his second marriage. But he hadn’t actually asked, had he? He’d just seen the ranch address of the home where she was staying and he’d assumed.
Millie’s eyes stayed wide this time, large and frightened in her pale face. “I was born in the city. In Saint Louis. I lived there every day of my life until the debt collectors took the house after my husband died. I only lived at the Keller ranch for the last month.”
Adam clenched his jaw and forced himself to keep his eyes on the road ahead. The path that they were going to have to go down. They were married. This was their road to travel together. And suddenly every bump in it felt more like hitting a boulder. His fingers were white and numb around the reins, and he forced himself to relax his grip. The last thing they needed was for the horses to react to his anger.
He went through the events that had led to his second marriage to a second city woman. He had been a fool yet again. And he was trapped, yet again. But, just because Millie was not familiar with farm life did not mean she would hate it like Sarah had. He just needed to show Millie all the farm had to offer. He could still have a full partner in the day-to-day activities of farm life.
“Did you like where you were staying at before you came here?”
Millie’s smile was small but it was there. “I did. I mean, I didn’t really get out much. I spent a lot of the time alone in my room, thinking. But I liked what I did see. It was so different at first from what I was used to, but it was really nice. Almost soothing.”
Adam could work with that. “Then I think you’ll like our home, too.”
“I’m sure I will. I’ve been looking forward to the peace and quiet, to be honest.”
Millie sounded sincere. Almost eager to prove that statement correct. She was trying. Millie had come into this marriage with the same goals as Adam. A good future for their children. And Millie was obviously trying to hold up her end of the bargain. That was all Adam could hope for.
Surely this could work if they both tried. “There’s plenty of quiet. But, there’s also a whole lot of not quiet. Between the children and the animals, sometimes I think the country is noisier than the city.”
“You’ve lived in a city before?”
“Yes. But, not for too long. It never felt like home.”
That was an understatement. Adam had been miserable in the city. He had hated the way it felt. The way it smelled. The way it seemed to settle on his skin like a coating he could never completely wash off. Having gone through that feeling of not fitting and not belonging, having fled that, how had he not understood what Sarah was going through?
“So you came back here?”
Adam nodded. “I wanted to settle down. Have children. And I wanted my children to grow up in the country, with fresh air and room to be.”
“Children.” This time, Adam didn’t have a bit of trouble picking out the fear in Millie’s voice. “Will you tell me about them? Please? I remember everything you told me in the letter. What Mrs. Thompson told me. But, I’d like to hear more. I need to be as prepared as possible before meeting them in person.”
This was safe territory. His marriage to Sarah might have ended in disaster, but his children were nothing but joy. “They’re great kids. I know I told you that in the letter, and I’m definitely biased, but they are. Catherine, the five-year-old, has such a kind heart. She always wants to be helpful.”
Adam’s throat tightened, but he continued. He wanted Millie to give his children what they needed. “Caty just wants to be loved. She spends a lot of time doing things to please people so they will like her. Love her.”
Adam looked at Millie, to see if he could tell what she was thinking. She was staring at her hands, and her profile wasn’t giving him any hints. “Genie—Eugene—is three. He’s happy so long as he has two things to bang together. It doesn’t matter at all what they are. Two forks. Two blocks. Two of anything so long as he can crash them into one another and make noise.”
Millie’s hands moved from her lap to her mouth. She turned and looked at him. There was definitely a smile under there. Adam couldn’t stop his own grin. He wasn’t exaggerating his little boy’s love of crashing and making noise. Though it could become aggravating, it was mainly adorable.
“They sound wonderful.”
“They are. Don’t misunderstand me, they are children. They can be cross and demanding and ungrateful. And, don’t ever try to reason with them because I promise you you’ll lose your mind before they understand your point. Even if it is eminently logical.”
Millie laughed out loud at that. Hearing the sound made the embarrassment of admitting his parenting failure completely worth it.
“What did you try to reason with them about?”
“Oh, too many things to count. You’d think I would learn, but I just keep hoping that they’ll see my point. Eventually.”
“I think you might have a long wait. I’m not an expert when it comes to children, but I have a feeling that logic is one of the last things to develop.”
Adam told her more about the kids, enjoying both reliving the memories and sharing them with someone else. It was such a shame that the happiness Caty and Genie brought to the world was shared only with him. But, that would change now that Millie was here.
“Will you tell me about the routine?” Millie’s question was almost abrupt.
“Routine?”
“Yes. How does the day go where you live? I want to know what to expect. Make sure I do the right thing in the right order.”
Adam looked at Millie, trying yet again to read her face.
There was nothing he could decipher, though her face was lovely, as it had been from the moment he first saw her. Framed by dark brown hair with a slight wave. Brown eyes. Fair complexion with a trail of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her cheeks had been slightly pink since yesterday. Adam didn’t know if that was from nerves or excitement or if her cheeks usually had that tint. Regardless, she was a beautiful woman.
But not exactly readable. She might come in a pretty package, but it didn’t take a genius to see that a beautiful, collected facade was exactly what Millie Steele—now Beale—presented to the world. She sure kept everything else locked down tight.
Except when Adam moved his gaze from her face down to her hands, he saw that they were clenched tight. Her fingers were white around the edges from the pressure. That was not a casual question.
Lord, I feel like I’m trying to walk through mud here. I can’t find solid ground. I just want to cross this passage and get to the good land on the other side. Help me say the right things, be the right thing. Please.
“There’s not too much of right and wrong out on the farm. A lot of what gets done is determined by the weather and current status of crops and livestock.”
“Farm? I thought you lived on a ranch?”
“Well, it’s a bit of both. I grew up on a ranch, so I consider myself a born-and-raised rancher. And, we have quite a bit of livestock. Cattle and horses. But, it’s also a nice little farm. I have a variety of crops planted. Plus, we have chickens, hogs and a couple of dairy cattle.”
Adam knew he had failed as a husband the first time around. Sometimes, he questioned whether he was a good enough father to his children. But, he was proud of what he had accomplished with his land. It had taken years, but he finally felt like he was established. His cattle and horses had a growing reputation and provided enough income to live on. The amount of land planted in crops was also expanding.
“I barely know anything about living on a ranch. Or a farm.”
Millie’s mask was good, but her hands were still clenched. He had not managed to put her at ease at all. Adam fought the urge to touch her. Reassure her.
Then he stopped fighting. He was determined that this was going to be a good marriage. He might not want the intimate aspects of having a wife, but he did want a friendship. He wanted his children to be surrounded by love. Companionship. Adam transferred the reins to one hand and used the other to reach out and touch Millie’s arm. He tried to make his touch safe and comforting.
“I can teach you anything you need to know. I told you I lived in the city for a bit. I have a good understanding of what you’re used to. The farm won’t be that different. Day-to-day life inside a home is pretty much the same everywhere.”
Millie nodded her head and smiled. But, her hands were still clenched like she was clinging on to something for dear life.
Adam drew his hand back, unsure yet again whether he had helped at all. He sure didn’t feel like he had lessened her fears.
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.