Kitabı oxu: «Blooming Birth: How to get the pregnancy and birth you want»
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Introduction
CHAPTER ONE Pregnancy for busy women
CHAPTER TWO Birthing for beginners
CHAPTER THREE Fear and pain
CHAPTER FOUR Second time around
CHAPTER FIVE Your options
CHAPTER SIX Surgical birth
CHAPTER SEVEN Expect the unexpected…
CHAPTER EIGHT Blokes, birth and babies
CHAPTER NINE The love of a good woman
CHAPTER TEN Frozen peas and pyjamas
Notes
Acknowledgements
Keep Reading
About the Authors
Copyright
About the Publisher
Introduction
When I was pregnant for the first time, I was your typical swotty mother-to-be. What to Expect When You’re Expecting was my bible. I diligently attended childbirth classes, toured my local hospital and performed regular antenatal yoga exercises. I was supposed to push the baby out with my breath but ended up with every intervention known to modern obstetrics (at least that’s how it felt). I was healthy, educated and – supposedly – informed but still the reality of childbirth floored me. And I’m not alone. One 2005 survey of 3,000 first-time mothers found that for the majority of women giving birth in the UK today, childbirth is a scary ordeal that leaves us in a state of shock. Eight out of ten of us say we were frightened at some point during labour, and that giving birth was more painful than we had ever imagined. One-third of us, meanwhile, say ante-natal classes didn’t prepare us for the reality of childbirth.1 Our preparations, it would seem, are not exactly hitting the mark.
When I got pregnant for the second time, I was really scared about the birth. I had just moved to the States where doulas – women who are trained to give you emotional and practical support during pregnancy and childbirth – are widely available and people kept telling me I should hire one. Figuring I had nothing to lose I started to interview doulas. There was something about Julia that stood out – a combination of practicality, pragmatism, realism and genuine empathy. She also has impressive credentials. Julia is a mother of two, a doula and childbirth teacher, trained and certified by the world’s largest doula organisation (DONA International) to give women emotional and practical – but not medical – support before, during and after childbirth. She has 14 years’ experience of helping women through pregnancy and birth and is a certified counsellor and hypnotherapist. She has also worked with all kinds of mothers: she founded and ran the The New Hope Doula Project in Seattle, connecting volunteer doulas with women giving their babies for adoption. She also founded a non-profit support group for women who have had caesareans (and are upset by them) and she designed and set up a popular network of mother’s groups – helping women connect with one another for support, companionship and ideas across the States. Julia was, to put it mildly, a lucky find.
She worked closely with me for the rest of my pregnancy and showed me that truly preparing for childbirth is about admitting what scares you, making good choices, staying open minded and learning brilliant ways to cope with whatever labour throws at you on the day. It’s about understanding, and accepting the areas over which you have no control – without becoming a fatalistic loon about the whole thing. When I went into labour for the second time, I was prepared to handle whatever happened (including my worst case scenario). My son’s birth was an amazing, positive experience. As a journalist used to disseminating information, it amazed me that I’d come across no book or resource that could compare with the work Julia did to help me prepare for childbirth. It was clear to me that her methodology and experience could – and should – be made available to any woman who simply wanted to have a better birth. Julia’s work with me – and with countless other mothers and mothers-to-be over the years – forms the backbone of this book. It will be relevant to you whether this is your first baby, or you have a whole brood already. Blooming Birth is for any woman who simply wants to give birth without feeling shocked, terrified, upset or horrified by the experience.
Though doulas are becoming more and more popular in Britain, they are still a relatively new phenomenon here. Not all of us can afford, or find, one where we live. This book will give you some useful doula tricks for coping during childbirth. It will also show you what your partner – and anyone else who’ll be supporting you during this birth – can learn from doulas.
The actual writing of this book was my department. As a health writer for newspapers like The Guardian, I’m used to grappling with ideas, interviewing experts and translating their arcane medical jargon into something that normal people can actually understand. Since I specialise in writing about pregnancy, birth and babies I’m also used to finding the best expert, support group or information source for these particular issues. This is where my professional skills come in but, above all, I’m writing this book as a mother. I have three children (my third baby, Ted, was born somewhere around Chapter 5 so I’m certainly up to date on birth in Britain). I am, then, your average ‘punter’. I’m not a childbirth expert, a childbirth nut or medically trained in any way: I’m a mother like you, who simply wanted and got a better experience of childbirth. I used the ideas in this book to prepare for, and cope with, Ted’s birth: they worked brilliantly (again).
This is not a medical book, but we have worked closely with doctors, midwives and other experts to give you the basic facts. You should see Blooming Birth as a springboard when it comes to medical matters – we show you what preparation means and the details are up to you. To help you do this, we’ve given you book lists and online resources so you can find the more detailed or specialist information you need.
We have unashamedly set out to give you the nitty gritty of birth here, not some neat, textbook version. We don’t talk about ‘discomfort’, we talk about pain because if you’re to cope with it you need to know about it. Between us Julia and I have certainly run the gauntlet of birthing experiences – from prolonged labour, failure to progress, epidurals, forceps delivery, a broken tail-bone, a 4th-degree tear, an infected scar and an emergency caesarean to drug-free labour, vaginal birth after caesarean, homebirth in a tub and homebirth on dry land. We’ve also interviewed over a hundred women from brand-new mothers to grandmothers about pregnancy and birth: you’ll learn what worked, and didn’t work, for them and you’ll learn the tips, strategies and awakenings that come from simply getting babies out.
Or witnessing this – Blooming Birth is for blokes too. Virtually every man we spoke to for this book said he, too, felt utterly unprepared for the reality of his baby’s entry into the world. If properly prepared, your baby’s dad can have a hugely positive influence on how you experience this birth. So, even if he’s not an avid reader of birth books, at the very least get your partner to read Chapter 8: Blokes, Birth and Babies.
By the time you finish reading this you may not actually be looking forward to giving birth but you’ll certainly feel more confident about it. You’ll know you can’t control everything that happens, but you’ll understand more about what might. You’ll understand the maternity system and how to negotiate it so it serves you best. You’ll know how to get the support you need, before, during and after the arrival of your baby. And you’ll know where to go, what to read and who to talk to if you need more help or information.
Finally, we don’t have any hidden agenda here. Neither Julia nor I are obsessed by natural birth and New Age philosophies have largely passed us by (we will not, for instance, be asking you to mould your vagina in clay or write poetry to your fetus). We genuinely do not care if you want an elective caesarean, an epidural at the first twinge or a troupe of nuns in your delivery room singing Land of Hope and Glory as you push – as long as it’s a genuinely informed choice, based on what you know about yourself, and about your realistic options. We want you to cope brilliantly with this birth – whatever crops up – so that you can become a healthy mother (of one, two or more) with no regrets or lingering upset. We want you, in short, to become the kind of mother who forgets that she ever needed a book like this.
Chapter One: Pregnancy for busy women
‘Nobody can really tell you what to expect when you’re expecting because every woman feels it differently. My sister adored her expanding belly and said she felt like a sexy goddess throughout her pregnancy. I felt like an increasingly mad, swelling gorilla.’
FAITH, 32, MOTHER OF HARVEY (2)
EIGHT POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT BEING PREGNANT
1 Your love for this baby one day will be stratospheric.
2 People will treat you as if you are deeply special (well sometimes, at least).
3 You are not alone. Around 596,000 other women in England and Wales alone are having a baby this year too.
4 You have maternity choices and rights like never before. You have the right to question your caregivers, change hospitals, midwives or doctors, see your records and make informed decisions.
5 The laws on maternity leave have never been more in your favour and there are organizations to help you sort out what you’re entitled to if you’re confused. (See Resources.)
6 You are giving birth as the ‘doula’ movement is taking off in Britain – you can now find one-to-one emotional and practical support throughout this pregnancy and birth, even if the NHS can’t provide it.
7 You can still be glam: clothing companies are finally waking up to the fact that you may not want to wear leggings and bloke’s t-shirts for nine months. High street shops like Hennes, Dorothy Perkins and even Mothercare are coming up trumps; designer maternity lines are springing up all over the place and online maternity shopping is a constant temptation. (See Resources.)
8 You can look forward to nine months free from tampons, pads, PMT and condoms.
Welcome to the Alarmist Club
Brace yourself. You are pregnant. You’re probably floating in a world of stupendous self-admiration right now (you’re growing an actual, real BABY in there). But you may also have noticed that people now want to start scaring you about all the things that could go wrong. This will get worse. Over the next nine months you will be fed a load of neurosis-inducing claptrap about what you must eat, drink, breathe, think and do to keep that baby ‘safe’. There will be some good, solid, sensible information in there – things you really need to know – but it can be hard to isolate this from the endless conflicting advice you’ll get on how to ‘optimize’ your chance of producing a healthy baby. Pregnancy, these days, has become pathology. Friends, relatives, colleagues, books, websites, health professionals and even complete strangers will conspire to fill you with fear, guilt and self-doubt. You’d think it was some insane, risky, reckless ordeal you’re embarking on, not something basically ordinary, that women have successfully achieved since time began. In this chapter we’ll give you the ‘need to know’ information, and hopefully lay some of the neuroses to rest.
We won’t provide you with medical minutiae about obscure conditions or rare complications. Other books have done this far better than we ever could (though we’ll give you resources and ideas of where to look if you need to know more). Instead, we’re going to give you a solid sense of some of the oddities you might experience over the next nine months, along with practical tips from professionals and other women about how to handle them. We’ll show you that you can, indeed, have a basically healthy pregnancy whilst remaining a viable member of ordinary society.
Goddess or gorilla
Pregnancy can make you feel unbelievably beautiful; replete with hope and womanliness. It can be a blissful time, not least because those of us who’ve spent the last ten years trying to disguise our flabby bellies get to show them off in tight tops. Pregnancy can be a time when you’re treated like a goddess by your partner; a time when blokes in white vans look on protectively as you cross the road; when people give you seats on the bus (well, occasionally) and when strangers congratulate you. You may, as the months go by, look more and more fantastic, and feel amazing: have thicker hair, better skin, stronger nails and a beatific glow. It’s a time, in short, when you feel that life is the oyster inside the pearly shell that’s you.
But this may not be the whole story. For most of us, pregnancy doesn’t feel like glorious fruition all the time. At times it can feel distinctly disempowering to be up the duff. You can’t control what’s happening to your body and you may feel as if you’ve been hijacked by medical professionals and, indeed, a small alien. You may be constantly vomiting. You may have mood swings. You may feel shattered. You may also swell to the size of a house, sprout varicose veins and become a borderline psychotic. Pregnancy involves huge contradictions – physical and mental. Pregnancy books often use words like ‘blessing’, ‘joy’ and ‘gift’. A pregnancy may be all of these things but at times you can feel more like an overstuffed mammoth than a fecund goddess; more axe murderer than earth mother. Much of this is hormonal. Much entirely reasonable, all of it normal.
Staying sane in pregnancy
The good news is that though you can’t do much about the hand your pregnancy deals you, you can influence how you react to this manic, blissful, awful, amazing, fundamental new condition.
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO:
become well-informed but not obsessed.
take what people tell you with a pinch of salt until you know it’s true.
research and understand important medical matters that affect you.
embrace what works for you and reject what doesn’t.
Most of all, you can remind yourself, when you are being prodded, poked, advised and bossed, that it is still your body and your life – even if you do look like an inflatable hippo when you’re in the bath.
That blue line
Julia’s heard some odd stories about how her clients know they’re pregnant:
‘It’s not always the obvious things that make you aware you’re pregnant – aching boobs, test kits, or late periods. Many of my clients tell me they knew they were pregnant when smells became stronger. Many – particularly second time mothers – tell me they had weird dreams that made them rush out and buy a test kit. And more than once I’ve heard of women dreaming about giving birth to a squirrel or mouse and discovering the next day that they’re pregnant.’
Finding out you are pregnant, however you do it, is a moment you’ll remember forever. The pictures of each of my three test sticks with the thin blue lines are stamped in my mind like little Polaroids. I remember where I was sitting, how I felt, what I did when I saw each one. (One thing that’s worth knowing is that while negative pregnancy tests in the very early days can be wrong, positive ones rarely are.) It can be a moment of exquisite happiness to find out you’re having a baby, but also a huge shock. Most of the literature on pregnancy assumes that you’ll simply pat yourself on the back at this point and become a saintly consumer of organic-only foodstuffs. But even if you planned meticulously, took your own temperature and peed on ovulation sticks for weeks on end, actually becoming pregnant can feel quite intimidating. Suddenly, your life (and soon your body) has taken on a shape all of its own. There’s a baby in there and it’s only going to get bigger. And it has to come out. And then you have to look after it for 18 years or more. If you’re used to at least a superficial sense of control over your own destiny, that moment of discovery can be daunting.
Going it alone
Facing motherhood alone can be a panicky, if exciting, time whether you have deliberately chosen to do this, or not. Your pregnancy may have come as a surprise, or it may have been a longed-for result: these days, more and more single women in their thirties and forties are choosing motherhood alone, sometimes using donor insemination. Telling people you’re pregnant can sometimes be tricky, whether the baby is planned or not, but the good news is that there is plenty of support and advice available. While one in four families in Britain today is headed by a single parent1 (that’s 1.75 million families) most of these happen because of marriage breakdown (usually once you have kids). You may, then, find it helpful to seek out specific support if you are single and tackling pregnancy and birth on your own. Even if you’re not a ‘joiner’, building up some kind of network once you are a parent can make a huge difference.
Where to go for help:
One Parent Families 020 7428 5400 www.oneparentfamilies.org.uk Parent-run charity Gingerbread 020 7488 9300 www.gingerbread.org.uk
Further reading:
Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook For Single Women Who Are Considering or have Chosen Motherhood by Jane Mattes (Three Rivers Press, US, 1997) This is an American book, but many issues are the same, wherever you are in the world. www.mattes.home.pipeline.com
Unplanned pregnancy
About one in five pregnancies is unplanned. If this fetus is the result of some Chianti-fuelled madness, or if you thought you practised the contraceptive equivalent of Fort Knox, discovering you’re pregnant can be distressing. Many of us won’t admit to such thoughts – it feels shameful even to consider not wanting a baby when other women out there are devastated by infertility. But many of us – at least initially – do feel this way. ‘My first baby, Mia, was five months old,’ says Kate. ‘She hadn’t slept for more than two hours at a stretch, screamed all the time, and we were shattered. One night, we drank a bottle of wine and had reckless sex – some kind of stress relief I think. Conrad was the result. When I discovered I was pregnant again I sat on the bathroom floor and cried. Mia cried next to me. Jim came in, and cried too. It was like some kind of Greek tragedy.’ They all came round to it in the end, of course, and Conrad is the light of their lives but really, pregnancy test kits should carry a mental health warning.
HEALTHY PREGNANCY: WHAT TO STOP DOING RIGHT NOW
STOP:
smoking cigarettes. Cigarette smoke contains more than 4000 chemicals that cross the placenta into your baby’s blood. It can lower your baby’s birth weight by 12 to 18 grams per cigarette consumed per day and doubles your chances of having a premature baby. It is associated with bleeding, pre-eclampsia, stillbirth and miscarriage.
taking over the counter drugs (without a doctor’s advice). Though paracetamol is considered safe to take in pregnancy, anti-inflammatory pain medication like ibuprofen can increase your risk of miscarriage. Best to check with your midwife before you take anything.
taking all recreational drugs (including cannabis)
taking all street drugs
drinking more than a couple of glasses of wine a week
soaking in saunas or hot tubs
having x-rays (unless suggested by your obstetrician)
Where to go for help:
QUIT helpline 0800 002200 www.quit.org.uk
NHS Pregnancy smoking helpline 0800 169 9 169
American Lung Association (US) www.lungusa.org/tobacco/
Less positive emotions
Depression
Everyone expects you to feel elated and special but you just feel even less like getting out of bed in the morning. Depression can be particularly isolating in pregnancy, yet it’s rarely talked about. One recent study found that not only is antenatal depression considerably more common than was previously thought – around 10 per cent of pregnant women, the study found, are depressed – it is mostly missed by doctors. In the study, only five of the 41 women with antenatal depression were identified by their GP as depressed.2 Depression can have serious effects on your health and that of your baby: depressed women may be less likely to keep antenatal appointments, eat well and do what’s best for their baby. There is also thought to be some link between antenatal depression and postnatal depression. You should always tell your midwife or doctor if you are feeling depressed as you may need their help.
If you are already depressed and taking antidepressants you’re hardly alone: according to mental health charity MIND, between 1990 and 1995 the number of prescriptions for antidepressants such as Prozac rose by 732 per cent in England alone. Being pregnant does not necessarily mean you have to ditch your meds and feel suicidal for nine months: some depression drugs are considered safe to take in pregnancy but others are not. So talk to your doctor the minute you know you’re pregnant.
Where to go for help:
Start with your GP, midwife or health visitor.
The Depression Alliance provides information for mothers and pregnant women who are isolated and lonely or experiencing depression. 35 Westminster Bridge Road London SE1 7JB. 0845 123 23 20 www.depressionalliance.org (ask for their booklet Depression During and After Pregnancy)
Meet-a-Mum Association Postnatal Illness Helpline can also help with pregnancy depression. 0845 120 3746
The mental health charity MIND has an online information service for users of mental health services, carers and other groups. For information on types of mental distress, treatments, therapies and legal information: 08457 660163 (9.15am–4.45pm everyday) www.mind.org.uk
Online:
www.depression-in-pregnancy.org.uk
Further reading:
Antenatal and Postnatal Depression by Siobhan Curham (Vermilion, UK, 2000)
Just feeling low
Milder ‘feeling down’ moods are also very common in pregnancy. This can be particularly overwhelming in the early stages when your hormones are flying all over the place. No matter how many times people say ‘hormones’ to you, you still think it’s life, not chemicals, that is making you feel so low. Your partner may find this disconcerting (my husband, having been through two previous pregnancies with me, was still unnerved by my dismal mood in the early stages of my third pregnancy). He may have no idea what to do to help you, so spend some time thinking about what you need from him then try to talk to him about it – if possible at a time when you’re not feeling murderous. Tell him that feeling low in pregnancy is common, chemical, but no less powerful or real for that. Suggest ways that he can help you (even if it’s just to leave you alone, buy you chocolate or give you a massage). The good news is that your dismal moods should pass. Talk to your midwife about this, or your GP or the Health Visitor at your doctor’s surgery. If your mood doesn’t alleviate, see above for where to get help.
Specific worrying
Even if pregnancy makes you basically happy, you may find yourself plagued by worries. Anxiety, like depression, is common in pregnancy and takes many forms.
WORRY THAT A PAST PROBLEM WILL RECUR | Some serious medical issues in the past (such as infertility, miscarriage, birth defects or other complications) can make your worries pretty specific and understandable. Many women who have had a miscarriage in the past, for instance, worry furiously up to the point at which the previous miscarriage occurred (and sometimes beyond). Get the most up to date information on whatever condition or event you fear. Ask questions, get referrals and second opinions. Start with your GP or midwife and don’t rest until you have answers. Information will not eradicate worry but it may help. Learning relaxation techniques may also help you to manage your more panicky moments. (See Find Out More, Chapter 4: Fear and Pain, page, for ideas and techniques.)
WORRYING ABOUT THE BIRTH | The vast majority of us (most studies put it at around 80 per cent) are scared of giving birth. We fret, often aimlessly, about this: will the birth be traumatic? Painful? Disastrous? Easy? Will it be like that horrendous one on ER last night? The good news is that pregnancy gives you time to prepare yourself mentally for giving birth. You can use this time to decode your fears, worries and preconceptions so that you can make intelligent choices about how, when and with whom you want to give birth. This book will show you how.
Generalised worry
There’s nothing like impending motherhood for bringing out the paranoid within. The world, suddenly, is filled with peril: pollutants, aggressors, toxins, accidents waiting to happen. ‘Throughout my pregnancy I worried the entire time about chemicals in body lotions harming the baby,’ says Jazz, mother of Karim (2). ‘I think I read it in some newspaper somewhere. It didn’t stop me putting lotion on every day, but it really bothered me.’
The rule is: if you find yourself worrying about some half-reported issue, physical twinge or weird feeling discuss it with your GP or midwife, no matter how mad or silly you feel. If they are vague or don’t have the answer, ask them where you can get it. For a good midwife, no question is too silly. If your general anxiety is stopping you sleeping, eating or otherwise preoccupying you, talk to them about the anxiety itself. Counselling, as well as treatment for more serious anxiety disorders, is available and now is a good time to get it (parenthood is unlikely to make it go away).
The root of worries
Much of this kind of paranoia boils down to the basic belief that pregnancy (and by implication birth) is both scary and dangerous. From TV, film, newspapers and magazines, you’ll absorb frightening images and stories of pregnancies that go disastrously wrong. This makes great TV and copy, but serious, life-threatening pregnancy complications are rare (how do you think we all got here?). Your ‘pregnancy/birth is unsafe’ mindset is not going to help you when you are in labour. For the vast majority of us pregnancy and birth are healthy, normal events. They’re neither threatening nor perilous.
Stress
‘Stress is definitely something pregnant women need to get to grips with. But you can do it. I have seen highly anxious, stressed out women at the beginning of pregnancy become, by the end, calm, relaxed and prepared simply by refocusing and making even slight changes to their busy lives,’ says midwife Jenny Smith. If your days are spent juggling million pound budgets, wiping your toddler’s bottom or – God forbid – doing both, you can still have a healthy pregnancy and be in good physical and mental shape for this birth.
We’re a stressed bunch these days: one survey of about 5,000 women3 found that women who work full time say they still do most of the household chores. Only 37 per cent of working couples share jobs equally around the home, and only 3 per cent of men do more ironing and washing than their partners. If you’ve already got children, the chances are you’re even more frazzled: the same survey found that 93 per cent of mothers feel stressed out, trying to cope with all the demands made on their lives. Add pregnancy to this and you get a heady cocktail of neurosis.
We stress about our inability to eat balanced portions of home-prepared food, our failure to attend a regular antenatal exercise class, to be productive enough at work, to get enough sleep or to relax – especially when we’re supposed to be relaxing. And then we worry that we’re worrying too much. The key question here is: will your stress harm the baby? The answer: it is extraordinarily unlikely to.
A handful of studies have suggested that a very high level of stress can increase your risk of having the baby too early, or having a low birth-weight baby by sparking off certain hormones.4 Certainly, if you are extremely stressed you are more likely to skip meals, reach for ciggies, booze or even drugs at the end of the day, all of which have been linked to low birth-weight (alcohol and drugs are also linked to birth defects). If any of this sounds familiar to you, don’t brush this under the carpet. Talk to your GP, Health Visitor or midwife.
TEN QUICK WAYS TO MINIMISE STRESS
1 Learn ‘mini’ stress relieving techniques. These can be very useful for labour, not to mention further down the line when you have an illogical toddler on your hands.
2 Make a list of things that, in the past, have reduced your stress levels, and do some of them if you can (leave anything chemical, nicotine-related or alcoholic off this list for obvious reasons).
3 Become an idler: leave the washing, let the carpet stay dirty, ask for deadline extensions and generally give yourself a break. Now is not the time to ‘prove’ anything to anyone.
4 Throw money at the problem. If you can’t do the above, and can possibly afford it, get a cleaner, get a cleaner more often or even bung a teenager a few quid after school to do ‘maid’ type duties for an hour or so. If you’ve got no money, divide your tasks into small, manageable chunks and plan meticulously for them: e.g. laundry (day 1), floors (day 2), bill-paying (day 3).
5 Negotiate divisions of labour with your partner. If studies are right, he probably does a fraction of what you do around the house, even if you are both working outside it. Inequalities like this will only be exacerbated when you have babies to cope with. He needs to be roped on board even (or perhaps especially) at this stage. Be aware that his standards and yours may differ (this does not mean it is his fault). He may in fact be exceptionally glad to feel useful at this point in your pregnancy.
6 Do small, beneficial things for yourself. Eat a yogurt before bed (calcium), keep fruit on your desk for snacks (and a water bottle), book yourself a lunch-hour massage (enforced relaxation), buy posh bath oil and use it religiously, at least once a week, and – why not? – treat yourself to an hour in the Waterstones café with a chocolate muffin and a good book.
7 Book an alternative therapist. Even if you’re a sceptic, things like massage or aromatherapy can help us all, at least temporarily. Sometimes just being listened to and pampered for an hour with smelly oils can really turn things around.
8 Get support: family, friends, neighbours can all be drafted in, even if just in small ways around the house, garden or with your other kids. But this involves asking for help. Which means no longer seeming perfect.
9 Try gentle exercise (if ok’d by your doctor or midwife). It is clinically recognized to lower stress levels. You don’t have to go to the gym but when you want to bludgeon a colleague or spouse, take a walk round the block. Ideally, join a pregnancy yoga class. Or try and walk for half an hour a day. But don’t beat yourself up about it if you can’t. You may just want to lie in a darkened room with earplugs in. That’s fine too.
10 Get help: counselling or even life-coaching can help you decode your stress and work out how to handle it better.
Career worries
Worrying that your career will evaporate when this baby arrives is also common.
‘Most women need to remember that their careers do not necessarily go away when they have children,’ says midwife Jenny Smith. ‘Maternity leave actually goes very quickly: to have 6–8 months off is nothing in terms of one’s whole life and what is most important right now is preparing your body and mind to nurture this baby. It’s a shame so many women ruin this precious time by worrying about work.’
If your pregnant-and-working life, like your belly, is starting to strain at the seams the hardest thing can be finding time to do something about it. The first thing to do is stop meta-worrying. Stress is a known part of pregnancy and to some extent we all feel it. But going into labour in a frazzled state is not ideal: you’ll have fewer physical reserves, be less able to relax during contractions, potentially have less endurance and then not be in the best position to cope with pain. A crucial part of your childbirth preparation should be to make stress-relief a priority. One way to start is by sorting out the practicalities of your maternity leave and eventual return to work so you can stop worrying about this for now.
Where to go for help:
Working Families is an organisation that gives practical help and information for parents about choices in childcare and employment rights; it also campaigns for changes in the law, and persuades employers to adopt practices which work for them and you alike. 020 7253 7243 www.workingfamilies.org.uk
Also try the webzine Mother@Work: www.motheratwork.co.uk. This is a good place to get a sense that other women are struggling with the same issues. The Daycare Trust This national childcare charity, promoting high quality affordable childcare, can help you find out more about childcare for when you return to work. 21 St George’s Rd, London SE1 6ES 020 7840 3350 info@daycaretrust.org.uk www.daycaretrust.org.uk
Further reading:
Balancing Pregnancy and Work: How to Make the Most of the Next 9 Months on the Job by Nancy Hall (Rodale Books, US, 2004) is worth a look, as is: Working Woman’s Pregnancy by Hilary Boyd (Mitchell Beazley, UK, 2004)
A WORD ABOUT TWINS AND MULTIPLE BIRTHS | In the UK about one in 35 babies is born a twin or triplet (in 1980 the figure was one in 52; the rise is mainly due to fertility treatments). There are nearly 10,000 multiple births in the UK every year. About a third of twins born in the UK are identical and two thirds are non-identical. Having twins can be a very different experience from your ‘average’ pregnancy but equally, you don’t want to end up feeling that nothing applies to you. ‘If you are carrying twins, you get a lot of fuss made of you by friends and colleagues and by the medical profession, but I also felt rather excluded from the “baby club”,’ says Rachel, 36, mother of Nick and Ella (4). ‘It started when we were told by the medics that “twin births are not normal” and then all the books I’d been religiously reading as a first timer stopped really applying. Even though I was getting excited about having two rather than one, I began to feel a bit of an outsider.’
Most of the issues we cover in this book should be as relevant to you as they are to singleton mothers. It is just as important to prepare for this birth if you are carrying more than one baby; to face your fears, understand your options, inform yourself, have a meaningful plan and good support. But as a healthy mother of twins or multiples you may face certain specific challenges. One of these is that your experience of pregnancy is likely to be more ‘medical’ than it would if you were expecting a single baby. You may have more frequent antenatal checks and your babies will be scanned regularly – very regularly towards the end of the pregnancy – to monitor their development. This is because pregnancy complications are more common with multiple births, such as pre-eclampsia, pre-term labour, anaemia or exhaustion.
‘We went for the first (of many) scans at twenty weeks and I think the nurse thought we must already know. She said, “There’s the baby” and gave us our first sight of Nick and then said “and there’s the other baby” meaning Ella, and Martin and I just looked at each other and laughed. I remember thinking “this is like a film” and I felt like everything had changed. I went home to bed and lay there thinking about two of everything, names and cots and buggies. The image of the little girl baby that I had been so sure I was carrying disappeared and I had to re-bond with two.’
RACHEL, 36, MOTHER OF NICK AND ELLA (4)
The birth itself may also be more ‘medical’ than you might like, as doctors will want to monitor the babies carefully, and you have a statistically higher chance of intervention. However, it’s worth remembering that you are not ill, or stupid and that your preferences still count. You can negotiate about any proposed intervention and talk, in full, to your obstetrician about any issue that worries you. Finally, having a caesarean section is a real possibility (about half of all twin births are vaginal), so make sure you read Chapter 6: Surgical Birth.
The main advice for a twin or multiple pregnancy isn’t terribly technical – it’s SLOW DOWN. This pregnancy is going to put more strain on your body than a singleton pregnancy would. You will also gain more weight, and get significantly bigger, though twins are generally born earlier – on average around 37 weeks.
Where to go for help:
TAMBA (Twins and Multiple Births Association): 2 The Willows, Gardner Road Guildford, Surrey GU1 4PG. 0870 770 3305; information and listening service call Freephone 0800 138 0509, evenings and weekends. www.tamba.org.uk
Multiple Birth Foundation 020 83833519 www.multiplebirths.org.uk
Further reading:
Twins and Multiple Births: The Essential Parenting Guide from Pregnancy to Adulthood by Carol Cooper (Vermilion, UK, 2004)
The Twins Handbook by Elizabeth Friedrich and Cherry Rowland (Robson Books, UK, 1998)
Twins, Triplets and More by Elizabeth M Bryan (Penguin, UK, 1992)
Multiple pregnancy tip:
Peggy Fitzgerald, a doula and mother of one-year-old triplets says, ‘Expect to get big fast: buy maternity clothes early but not too many, because you will outgrow them and need to find bigger ones. (Even at 25 weeks, I outgrew most of the biggest maternity clothes I had – luckily I didn’t have many – but still needed SOMETHING for doctor’s visits….) Under the belly pants are more useful than ones that cover the belly – they just aren’t made the shape you’ll need. Also, make sure, early in pregnancy, that you stock up your freezer with meals: not just for the times when you can’t cook (or the possibility that you’ll be on bed-rest), but for your postpartum too.’
A few other worries
Here are a few common worries and what to do with them. The list is potentially endless, so here’s the rule: ask your health professional if something is worrying you, no matter how silly and embarrassing it sounds. They’ll have heard it before and even if they haven’t, they won’t be shocked: they’re here to help you.
WHAT YOU DRANK BEFORE YOU KNEW YOU WERE PREGNANT | Many of us drink too much alcohol in the early weeks of pregnancy before realizing there’s a zygote in there. That Hen night you went on when two weeks pregnant, however, is not something to worry about. The real worry is if you can’t stop now you know you’re pregnant (see drinking advice below). Drinking too much alcohol throughout pregnancy can lead to fetal alcohol syndrome (where your baby is damaged because you are drinking 40–50 units of alcohol every week, or binge drinking). Get reassurance from your midwife and doctor about your early pregnancy behaviour, then move on to no more than two units (i.e. a couple of small glasses of wine) a week. This is the current UK government recommendation.
AIR TRAVEL | There is no evidence that holiday or business air travel will do you any harm whatsoever when pregnant. However, if you have pregnancy complications do consult your doctor before flying. The best time to travel is probably in your second trimester – in the middle three months. You will be less sick, more mobile, energetic and not yet the size of Free Willy. Take a large bottle of water, a bag of healthy snacks and move around a lot to avoid any chance of deep vein thrombosis (potentially fatal blood clots). Most airlines have a policy about pregnancy and air travel; most say you should not travel after a certain point in your pregnancy, usually 28–36 weeks. It may be hard to find this on a website, so try phoning the airline. Many will take your word as to how many weeks pregnant you are, though some may require a letter from your doctor. If you’re considering stretching the truth, however, remember airline staff are generally not trained medical professionals. Giving birth 8,000 feet above the Atlantic would be less than ideal.
Where to go for help:
About.com has a list of airlines and their rules about pregnancy and flying: www.airtravel.about.com
The Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology also have guidelines for air travel safety on their website: www.rcog.org.uk
Air travel tip:
Obstetrician Lucy Chappell says, ‘As a general rule, simply think about the health care system of the country you are going to and whether you would like to be in it, should any complications arise. Avoid islands – where you can’t easily get to a hospital – and developing countries where possible.’
VACCINATIONS | This is a legitimate worry. Some ‘live’ vaccines, like those against chickenpox are unwise to have when pregnant; others such as Hepatitis B, Hepatitis A, and tetanus are OK for pregnant women who are at risk of getting these diseases. Talk to your doctor about vaccinations if you’ve had them before you knew you were pregnant, or if you are thinking of having them before travelling.
AIR POLLUTION | Thousands of healthy babies are born each year in inner London, one of Europe’s most polluted areas. Books will warn you about lead in traffic fumes, but really, if you live in an urban area, there’s not much you can do about this short of ceasing to breathe or wearing a Michael Jackson mask. City life is not going to harm your unborn baby. If it did, half the babies in Hammersmith would have birth defects.
PESTICIDES IN FOOD | You will probably hear, at some point, that you should eat only organic food when pregnant or you will poison your unborn child with pesticides. Some women have the money to do this. Most of us, however, don’t. The vast majority of us eat normal supermarket food when up the duff and our babies emerge just fine. According to the UK Government’s 2002 Committee on Toxicity, pregnant or breastfeeding women are unlikely to be any more vulnerable to the ‘cocktail’ effect of low-level pesticides in food than anyone else. You should, however, wash fruit and vegetables thoroughly. If you peel fruit, by the way, you will reduce the vitamin and fibre content.
BENDING AND LIFTING | Your midwife or health visitor will be able to give you tips on how to avoid back strain, what you should and should not lift, and how to cope when you have to carry bigger children or toddlers. It’s handy to pretend that you can’t lift anything at all, so that your partner has to do all the supermarket shopping etc., but it is fine for a pregnant woman to lift moderate weights (i.e. a shopping bag or two) from the car to the house. The main problem is back strain, so bend from the knee rather than your back when lifting. Having said that, most mothers of more than one child have, at some point, been forced to wrestle a howling, kicking, 30lb toddler out of the toyshop/supermarket/playground while heavily pregnant with no bad consequences (other than to our mental health). The basic rule is: if it’s heavy, try to avoid lifting it, and if you have to lift it, try to lift it with a good posture and try not to lift it above waist level. A physiotherapist-run class at your hospital will give you tips for bending and lifting. You can also divide your shopping into smaller, lighter bags: more trips, in general, are better than heavier bags.
HOT BATHS | The baby inside you does not have a temperature regulation of its own so if you get overheated your baby can’t do anything about it. For this reason, hot tubs, saunas and Jacuzzis are not a good idea in pregnancy as they can raise your temperature too high for too long (above 39C/102F) which may affect your baby’s heart rate. Normal baths (unless you go mad with the hot tap and sit there sweltering for hours) will do you and the baby no harm (and probably some good, as you’ll relax).
Bath tip:
Keep a limb out of the water during your bath and lift your body out for a bit if you feel too hot or sweaty.
SEX | Unless you have a contra-indicating medical condition (for example, you have a low lying placenta, your waters have broken early or you have been warned by your doctor to abstain for any other reason) normal sexual intercourse will not harm your baby. Many women, particularly in mid-pregnancy, feel seriously sexy. Since most of us have a low sex drive after pregnancy (for up to a couple of years!) make the most of any rampant phases you may have. Many men, paradoxically, can’t look this gift horse in the mouth: the most common fear among male partners is that their penis’s head will ‘bump the baby’. Luckily no man – no matter how impressively large he is down there – is that well-endowed. He’d have to get through the vagina, mucus plug and cervix, into the uterus then through the amniotic sac before he could do any damage to your baby. This is simply not going to happen. It is, however, best to avoid really forceful or deep penetration – this can be uncomfortable, for a start. Nor will the weight of your partner squeeze the baby out (if only it did medical induction would be distinctly less common). The best tip is to experiment with positions: side-lying, your partner behind you, you on top of him – any angle really, once the missionary position gets tricky. Your orgasm will not make you miscarry (unless you are at risk of premature labour, in which case talk to your midwife). A vibrator is fine, too. There are no studies to show a vibrator cannot be used during pregnancy. But – brace yourself here if you’re squeamish – introducing germs into the vagina during pregnancy is not a good idea, so clean your vibrator well and don’t mix orifices.
Sex tips:
Don’t insert foreign objects, air or water in your vagina during pregnancy. If you bleed at any time after intercourse, contact your doctor/midwife straight away.
If, after orgasms, you experience a lot of uterine contractions, check with your doctor/midwife. Oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ associated with orgasm, can also cause mild, clenching, harmless contractions in your womb after orgasms. (During labour oxytocin is actually the hormone that makes your womb contract to get the baby out.)
If you know you are at risk of premature labour, or if you have any other concerns, talk to your doctor/midwife about whether or not it’s ok to have sex.
Sex can be genuinely beneficial (it tones the pelvic floor muscles, gets the circulation going, relieves tension) but it may feel a bit weird for you in your pregnant state. You have a greater blood supply to your vagina which can affect sensation (it may feel ‘fuller’ down there) and your clitoris may be extra sensitive. You may also feel either less or more lubricated (lubricants like KY Jelly can be helpful if sex becomes uncomfortable). You’ll hear women boast about how rapacious they were throughout pregnancy but if your libido is paltry (or very variable) for nine months try not to feel cheated. You’re swimming in hormones. You may be faintly distracted by the sight of your own body, even if your partner appears to be passionate about it. You may feel like your body has been ‘taken over’ by the baby, and you don’t want to be assailed by anyone else. You may feel constantly sick, swell up like a balloon or have loony mood swings. You may simply be knackered. These things will not make you hot stuff in bed. And that’s OK. Dr Petra Boynton, a psychologist specializing in sex and relationships at University College London says, ‘What tends to disappear is not just the sex, but the communication, comfort, petting. If you’re not feeling sexy you should at least be having rampant hand holding every night.’ We talk more about sex in pregnancy in Chapter 8: Blokes, Birth and Babies.
Dr Petra’s sex tip:
‘There is a bizarre idea that pregnant women are not supposed to be sexual. This is part Victorian hangover and part fear that sex is bad for the baby (it isn’t). Sex toys can actually be a great bonus for pregnant women – they can be soothing as well as sexy. Go for vibrating toys designed for clitoral stimulation rather than penetration. I have had women tell me they used one of these in early labour to cope with low level pain. A colleague of mine, what’s more, discovered that her silicon vibrator on a low, soothing, setting, wrapped in a towel and placed along her baby’s back was a fantastic remedy for her baby’s colic.’
Where to go for help:
You may have dropped this book in horror by now, but if you’re still reading, or have always enjoyed this sort of thing anyway www.nicesextoys.co.uk might be worth a go (your guffaws will be fun for your baby anyway).
HAIR DYE | Except at your scalp, hair is dead tissue that cannot transmit toxins to your body. The hazard from hair dyes is therefore related to the amount of dye that can actually penetrate your scalp and enter your bloodstream while you’re dying your hair, and from residues after you’ve finished. Some recent studies suggested a link between permanent hair dye and an increased risk of bladder cancer (yours, not your baby’s), but no studies have found that dyeing your hair when pregnant will harm your baby. Most midwives will tell you that while the safest colour, when pregnant, is your natural one, dyes that involve minimal scalp touching, such as highlights, are extremely unlikely to damage your baby.
LOTIONS | No studies have found that lotions or make up cause birth defects or otherwise harm a fetus. If they did, there would be few healthy babies knocking around. However, many environmental groups have concerns about ingredients in cosmetics and lotions. This is an area of huge debate and there’s no conclusive evidence either way. For more information try the Women’s Environmental Network (WEN): 4 Pinchin Street, London E1. 020 7481 9004 www.wen.org.uk.
TOXIC SUBSTANCES | Watch out for things known to affect a fetus: cigarette smoke, drugs, large quantities of alcohol, lead (in water and paint – see below), carbon monoxide inhaled in excess, mercury, solvents, benzene and formaldehyde.
PAINT | Best get your partner to paint the nursery because certain types of paint and paint thinners may contain chemicals that aren’t great for the developing fetus. I had a ludicrously strong ‘nesting’ urge towards the end of each of my pregnancies, and found myself uncontrollably painting wardrobes, cots, walls – indeed, anything I could get my hands on. My babies are fine but if I’d known about toxins in paint I might have taken up macramé instead.
Weight gain
Getting it into perspective
It’s the infernally emotive topic: how fat will I get? Some admirable women simply don’t care. They eat healthily and avoid the whole unnecessary issue. They are the minority. At the extreme end are those who quake over the scales, restrict their food intake and panic if they’ve gained an ounce more than the ‘recommendations’. The rest of us, meanwhile, scoff cream cakes with gay abandon then whinge about how fat we are after the baby is born. Your weight in pregnancy should not be your prime concern. What matters is that you produce a healthy, well nourished baby. If you crash or fad diet during pregnancy you can severely damage your baby (inadequate nutrition can lead to low birth weight or premature babies who are at higher risk of complications and death5). So chuck out Atkins, the Zone, or whatever mad fad you’re addicted to and feed yourself healthily for once (without beating yourself up, or getting paranoid). If your eating is genuinely out of control, or otherwise worrying you, it is essential that you find help and support so you can grow a healthy baby.
Where to go for help:
Your doctor/midwife is a good first base. You can also contact:
National Centre for Eating Disorders They can refer you to specialist help in your area. 01372 469493 www.eating-disorders.org.uk
Eating Disorders Association 01603 619090 Helpline 0845 634 1414 www.edauk.com
Weight charts and what to do with them
In the US, where I had Sam, my second baby, they stuck me on the scales at every antenatal appointment. At one point, I found myself apologizing to the nurse for my excessive bout of chocolate muffin-induced poundage. In Britain, doctors and midwives have realized that being constantly weighed has little medical benefit and causes many women undue anxiety and guilt. As obstetrician Lucy Chappell puts it: ‘You don’t weigh an oven to see if the cake is done.’ Your midwife usually asks your pre-pregnancy weight at your booking in appointment but is unlikely to weigh you after this unless there’s a medical reason to do so. As a rough guide don’t weigh yourself more than once a week.
How much weight you ‘should’ gain over the next nine months will depend on how fat or thin you are in your unimpregnated state. As a rough guide, if your pre-pregnancy Body Mass Index,6 is in the ‘ideal’ range, you might gain about 25–35lb over the pregnancy. Very roughly this means a gain of about 3–6lb in first trimester, about 1lb a week in second and third. Loads of women gain far more than this, and lose it (albeit annoyingly slowly) afterwards. Do not succumb to the tyranny of weight charts: gain what is right for you. If you are already overweight doctors say you should gain slightly less than the average. If you are underweight, they say you should gain more. If you’re worried about your rate of weight gain either way, talk to your doctor/midwife. For example, a really rapid weight gain (more than about 2lbs a week) could be an early sign of pre-eclampsia (pregnancy-related high blood pressure) if it is caused by fluid retention.
An experienced mother’s weight tip:
‘When I was pregnant first time around I weighed myself every morning. I avoided chocolate and anything fattening. I weighed out portions of food according to my pregnancy book’s instructions. I panicked if I had put on more than I “should”. I felt like I was on a radical diet. Once she was born, I lost the 6lb of ‘baby fat’ within a month. But I was exhausted all the time. With the other two I didn’t care (too busy to care). I ate what I wanted, when I wanted – tried to make it healthy but didn’t obsess. It was SO much more relaxing just to throw out all that weight worry for nine months. I was a stone heavier for a few months after the other two births, but it came off. And I had more energy with the second two babies. All my babies were healthy – and similar sizes – at birth. Looking back on it, that first time weight obsession was a ridiculous waste of time and energy.’ Jules (40), mother of Chloe (7), Madeleine (4) and Daniel (1)
Fat fascism
Zoe, 33, was about three stone overweight at the start of her first pregnancy. ‘Because I am fat, my GP treated me like a pariah. I was barely through the door on my first visit and he was talking about caesareans.’ In the end, Zoe gave birth to her 8lb daughter in water after a healthy pregnancy and eight hours of drug-free labour.
If you are overweight you may, like Zoe, experience confidence-sapping comments. The best advice is listen to the health professionals but get facts not opinions or knee jerk prejudices (ask, if necessary, for references so you can look yourself). Do not allow anyone to force you into believing that because you are overweight, you will necessarily have a complicated pregnancy and birth. Here are the basic things you should know about obesity and pregnancy.
Being clinically obese (two to three stone overweight, BMI over 35), rather than just a bit chubby has the following documented risks:
1 It can be harder for midwives and doctors to assess the pregnancy and labour as it is harder to feel the baby and your womb. (Some health professionals, by the way, can be offensive. ‘I can’t see baby, because of too much mummy,’ snapped one sonographer to a friend of mine, who, while plump and curvaceous is certainly not vastly overweight.)
2 You will be, statistically, more prone to pregnancy complications like hypertension, pre-eclampsia and oedema – where your body swells more because of fluid retention.
3 You have a slightly higher risk of developing gestational diabetes and consequently of having a larger than average baby.
4 You have a slightly higher chance of having a caesarean section (because of the baby’s size, or your blood pressure).
5 If you are obese and have a caesarean you have a slightly higher risk of some operative complications.
Ask your doctor to refer you to a dietician for dietary advice and support during pregnancy if you are obese, and if any of the above worry you, discuss them in detail. Most overweight women have perfectly healthy babies.
Eating: the basics
Pregnancy eaters divide roughly into two extremes: neurotic self-abnegators, who take the books literally, cut out anything fun and start weighing out grams of fat and protein. And self-indulgers, who think ‘Wey hey! Eating for two!’ and start deep frying their Mars Bars. Ideally, you want to be somewhere in between the two. ‘Before you close your mouth on a forkful of food,’ says the pregnancy book that tyrannized me the most in my first pregnancy, ‘consider “is this the best bite I can give my baby?”…if it’ll only benefit your sweet tooth or appease your appetite, put your fork down.’ Now, forgive my selfishness here, but satisfying my appetite, and even – gasp – my sweet tooth are, I believe, not an insignificant part of my overall well-being. This kind of nutritional fascism should really be outlawed by publishers of pregnancy books. You are pregnant. You are not on a diet. You are not sick. You are not going to harm your baby if you have the occasional bag of maltesers. However if you start eating in earnest for two, three or four, polishing off an entire tub of Haagen Dazs on the sofa, and generally throwing caution to the wind you will put on extra weight (just as you would if you weren’t pregnant) and you might produce a slightly bigger baby. Being really too heavy will not help you feel good later in pregnancy, and of course it’ll be harder to shift afterwards. Perhaps most important of all, you may not be giving yourself and your baby adequate nutrients if you’re eating a lot of junk.
Most pregnancy books tell you that you only need to eat about an extra 300 calories per day when you are pregnant. This in itself is shocking news if you were expecting to be wolfing down the cream buns for the next nine months. Brace yourself now because many experts say the reality is even harsher than this. The most recent Department of Health guidelines conclude that (partly because of our reduced levels of activity, and partly because our metabolism alters) pregnant women don’t strictly need any extra calories whatsoever in the first two trimesters of pregnancy. In the final trimester – hooray – we need about an extra 200 calories a day (a couple of large bananas).
Most of us, of course, eat loads more than this – because it’s socially acceptable to do so when pregnant – and so we get a bit fat. This does us, and the baby, no harm. Most of us lose it afterwards if we eat sensibly and are reasonably active. (I put on 45lb with Sam largely as a result of moving to ‘supersizing’ America. My weight gain was technically 10lb or so ‘too much’. I felt lardy afterwards, but the weight slowly came off and I was back to roughly my normal weight after maybe nine months.)
Verboten foods: what’s the truth?
It’s all horribly confusing. Can you eat that kind of cheese, or not? Can you drink that glass of wine, or not? One recent survey of British women by a baby formula manufacturer7 found that most of us don’t fully understand which foods to avoid when pregnant. Indeed, we often cut out foods that are beneficial, in the mistaken belief that they are somehow dangerous. Cottage cheese, for instance, is a good, low fat source of calcium. But many women avoid it in pregnancy thinking it’s a ‘soft’ cheese, therefore verboten.
Our paranoia is understandable. For a start, the goalposts keep changing. When I was pregnant for the first time I stuffed myself with tuna, which I’d been told was an excellent source of fatty acids, protein and vitamins. Five years later, pregnant with number three, I was only allowed a couple of medium-sized cans a week. In the interim, studies had found that tuna may contain too much mercury and so harm a baby’s developing nervous system if you eat too much of it in pregnancy (see guidelines). Swordfish, marlin and shark are now officially out, for the same reasons. And some reports have recently suggested that farmed salmon may contain unacceptable levels of toxins, though the Food Standards Agency says the benefits of eating salmon outweigh any potential harm as salmon is a fantastic source of protein, vitamin D and good fats that can help your baby grow. (If you’re really worried you could try buying organic or wild salmon instead of cutting it out.)
There is, among all this confusion, some sensible evidence that certain foods should indeed be avoided during pregnancy. Mostly they are the ones that carry a very small risk of food poisoning such as listeria or salmonella, which studies have found may damage your fetus or cause miscarriage. Apart from this relatively short list of foods (see Pregnancy Eating Crib Sheet below), most doctors say you should eat basically as normal during pregnancy.
Pulsuz fraqment bitdi.
